Received a gift from someone who will NOT be attending wedding…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I send the thank you card now, or after the wedding?
    Send it now! : (66 votes)
    93 %
    Wait until after the wedding. : (5 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Send her a thank you note now and let her know that you will be sorry to miss her at the wedding.  People want to know that you received the gift.

    Post # 5
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Official etiquette says to send a thank you note as soon as possible after a gift is received.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2166 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I sent thank you cards as I received gifts, whether it was from someone who wasn’t able to attend or not.  It made my list a lot smaller after the wedding.  Definitely send the card now to those who won’t be attending your wedding.  No point in waiting!

    Post # 7
    Member
    296 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I say send it now, and after the wedding send her a photo of you both with a note to the effect of “sorry you couldn’t be there with is for our special day”.

    Post # 9
    Member
    689 posts
    Busy bee

    Hmm I didn’t answer the poll bc I’m a bit in between. Since it’s over a month away, I feel like you should awknowledge the gift w/ a thank you note. But, then again, it’s close enough to the actual wedding that I feel like you may be able to wait and send her a thank you w/ your batch after. 

    For me, I get a little peeved to get thank you cards months later (I’m talking like 3+ months later) after an event (not only weddings). Not sure how to approach this…I’d probably send it before and write in there that we will miss you at the wedding, thanks for your generosity and thinking of us, blah blah.

    Post # 12
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would sent it now, especially so she knews the check got to the right person!

    Post # 13
    Member
    2782 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @CarolinaCola:  Since you’re asking, send it now– for us, we had several gifts come (mostly from people who DID attend the wedding, but the gift was shipped directly from the store)– but they came SO close our wedding day (within 2 week, when planning was in full swing, dress fitting, DRs appts, I was sick the week before, and I have a son)– so all Thank You’s were sent after the wedding, even if the gift came before.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2529 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    @CarolinaCola:  I’m of the school of thought that you need to send a thank you card before the check is cashed, and personal checks expires after I believe, 60 days. Send the thank you, waitr a few days, and cash it. I just did the same thing! (The few days is so hopefully they will receive the thank you before you cash it). 

    If I sent a check and saw it got cashed and got no card for weeks and weeks, I would assume it wasn’t coming.

    Post # 15
    Member
    6048 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I would do the Thank you notes as the gifts come in.  That way you knock out a few, at least, before the wedding.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1197 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’ve sent a wedding gift to a former co-worker whose wedding I wasn’t attending, and she sent me a thank you card after the wedding. 

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