Post # 1
I got engaged this summer to a wonderful man. He went out and bought the ring without me knowing and proposed. I am very happy with him and our relationship. I love totally love him.
I feel like totally ungrateful and like a horrible person BUT I am so sad with my engagement ring. It is totally a promise ring, something you get from a boyfriend in high school. I wear it when we are together, but when we go out with friends I always accidently leave it on the counter.
I don’t know what to do…?
Post # 3
Do you know why he bought a promise ring as opposed to a typical engagement ring? Is it because of money, or because he just didn’t know that there is a difference?
if it’s because of money, and you know that’s the case, I would really recommend not saying anything. At the end of the day, an ering is a symbol of the love for each other and he was expressing that. I understand wanting something else, but perhaps there would be an opportunity to "upgrade" in the future?
If it’s because he didn’t know the difference between erings and promise rings, I would suggest talking to him. It’s a hard conversation to have, because you don’t want to offend him. But I would bet at the end of the day, he just wants you to be happy in all aspects of life- including the ring.
Post # 4
Just tell him about it in a round about way- he probably had no clue what you really wanted–did you ever drop hints? This is something you are going to wear a lot, or at least until you replace it with a band, so tell him
Post # 5
First, I’m so sorry you aren’t happy with your ring. I can’t imagine how disppointing that might be. Have you tried talking to your FI about it? Are you considering doing that? Was it a financial necessity to get something small? Perhaps if you are willing to save together you could get something you really love.
Perhaps when you start looking at wedding bands, you could say that you’ve fallen in love with one that doesn’t fit with your ering and suggest changing your ering to match the band you like? That way you don’t have to say you don’t like it?
Have you read some of the other board posts about brides who aren’t in love with their rings? Perhaps you can read them and get some tips for talk to him about it.
If you didn’t like your ring, how did you tell him?
Upgrading your engagement ring..tacky? or why not!
Did anyone NOT like their ring?
Do you have a picture? Perhaps you could do something to spruce it up- like get an enhancer or basket setting for your wedding band?
There are some examples here:
Post # 6
Definitely discuss it with him. He may have wanted to ask you to marry him, but was without alot of $$ at the time. Maybe discuss "upgrading" with him when the time’s right along with a wedding timeline.
His heart is definitely in the right place, you just want a different kind of ring, that’s all. Again, communication is key.
Post # 7
I agree with tatrifon – it might be a money issue or he might not have known the difference. My guy has been saving up for a few months now to get me the ring I want. He was ready to go back in January, but after we talked it was apparent he didn’t know a whole lot about e-rings and the costs that can be involved! He could have afforded a promise ring right away, but we talked about it and decided to hang tight while he saved.
I think if you go to him on it lovingly and with respect, and reassure him that it doesn’t have anything to do with how you feel about him or getting married, you can work through it. Good luck!