Post # 1
I just recevied a STD in the mail for a friend of my SO. The couples wedding is in September 2013. The problem, we did not have this couple on our A list for our upcoming wedding in January 2013. We have a budget we are trying to stick too, and do not want to invite anymore than 135 guests, our venue only requires a total of 100 adults, one of the big perks/discounts of having a winter wedding. I just sent out my invitations a few days ago to our A list, and the head count is at exactly 135. We have 8 people on our B list, so if each person on the B list were to also get invited once we get enough regrets back and bring a guest that would total 18 people.
My fiance and I like this guy, he is very cool, his fiance we barely know, met her once. We recently moved to a new area in 2011, we have meet many new freinds here, got engaged in 2012. And when it was time to make our guests list we invited our freinds and family from back home first. Then with the rest of our space to make our total 135, we invited our new friends from where we live now. Not all of these people made the A list. What to do?
Do we just suck it up and include them on our A list, since it would only bring our head count to 137, 2 above what we wanted? Or, just leave them on our B list? Non of us bee’s here really know how many regrets/no shows you will get for your wedding. Part of me thinks we should just put them on the A list, since we currently are at the head count we wanted to stick too. Help me bee’s, I need some opinions!
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
I’d put them on the “A list” we added like 10 people to our list before sending out invitations, LOL. What’s 2 people in the grand scheme of your wedding? Plus, even though I know etiquette wise you don’t HAVE to invite them just because they invited you, it seems awkward IMO.
Post # 4
You don’t have to invite them just because they invite you. If it would put a strain on a relationship you value alot then obviously add them. If it’s just a not close pal, they are planning a wedding- they get numbers and restrictions, don’t sweat not inviting them. Also I can’t believe they sent their Save-The-Date Cards out already. I feel like a slacker as a month twin.
Post # 5
I say leave it as is. I’m inviting a close friend/coworker to our wedding, and we didn’t get an invite to hers – I could care less. She had bigger space constraints than we did. Similarly, I’ve been invited to sorority sister’s weddings and I’m not inviting that couple…there are other people I’d rather be there (like above-mentioned coworker).
Post # 6
@mishagirls79: If you want them there, invite them! Don’t invite them simply becuase they invited you 🙂
Post # 7
I’d invite them if you’re friends. You most likely will not have every person on your A list show up. We have (a shocking to us) 30% unable to come to a beginning of November wedding. However, if you don’t want them there then don’t invite them just b/c they invited you. 🙂
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
Invite them only if you have room. Id bump them to the top of your B list.
For all you know they have a guest list of 250 and a huge budget so dont compare yourself to them.
Post # 9
I’d invite them. It’d be very, very surprising if you didn’t get some declines/no shows.
Post # 12
I say it’s 2 guests, the odds of you getting 100% attendance is very slim. Why not send out an invite to this one couple, that way you prevent any hard feelings, especially if some of your mutual friends as them made the cut and they didn’t.
Post # 13
I would invite them. He’s a friend, it sounds like the only reason why you aren’t thrilled about inviting them is headcount related. Chances are you’ll get declines before the wedding and it will work out. Who knows, maybe they’ll send a regret as well! But I would definitely send them an invitation.
Post # 14
@aspasia475: Wow, I had no idea that a STD required so much response from the future invited guest! I will send out a congratulations on the engagement card this weekend!
I have decided to just invite this couple, we like him (only met his fiance once, seems nice though), when paying for a wedding, going above our max head count by two guest is like spending $20! Even though we are paying for this wedding ourselves and want to stick to a budget, we really do not want to hurt anyones feelings. The area we live in is where we will be until we retire, we will have our children here and rasie them with all of our new friends, who are married, and starting to have babies, getting married, in serious relationships with children, etc. I would hate to hurt/offend any of these people so much that they would wish to no longer speak with us. Its important that we keep our new friends close to build great friendships, roots which will allow us to raise all of our kids together. I may be thinking into this a bit to much, but its what it boils down too.
Thanks for everyones help!
Post # 15
I won’t be responding to any std via more than a text. This whole etiquette ish is so painfully outdated it’s absurd. NOBODY sends mail (aka shit that gets tossed away) anymore let alone for something you could Fbook a like about *eyeroll*