(Closed) Received gift from CEO wasn’t planning to invite to wedding

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I would send her one. No sense in making a big stir of it.

There’s no guarantee that she’ll come. That could be why she’s sent the early gift. But if she did, whats the harm in her being there?

Post # 4
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I would invite her.  The president of my company never attends weddings (according to office culture- I asked around.) but supports office bridal and baby showers.  I can’t imagine him encouraging a shower to be thrown but not at least inviting him and his family.  Plus they sent me a Christmas card- I would rather keep up the relationship.

Post # 5
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would invite her.  I’m in academia and I invited all my current and former advisers (undergrad, grad, and post-doc).  Two out of the three are coming, all of them were very happy for me and flattered to be included.  It can never hurt to maintain ties with people in positions that can help you.  And also, if the CEO knows about the wedding, is invited, and supportive, it can’t hurt when your daughter needs time off for wedding-related events.

Post # 6
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

since you have room to spare, i would invite her. no sense in getting the CEO pissy! if your daughter isn’t directly reporting to her, however, i think you should also invite your daughter’s direct manager.

Post # 7
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

It depends on the office dynamics.  If she’s from a very small office, then it might be worth considering.  However, you end up playing office politics on whose feelings are going to be hurt over not being invited, especially if there are other co-workers that your daughter’s more close to, but not close enough to invite. 

A lot of companies send wedding presents as one of the nice things to do to engage an employee.  It does not in any way obligate you to invite the sender. 

Personally, if I knew the boss was at my wedding (and we are not on friend level), I would feel an obligation to act more professionally.  And if friends and family were to get too rowdy, I may feel that it will be a reflection of me in the CEO’s mind.

Post # 8
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

If you’re considering inviting her to the wedding just because she already sent a gift–I wouldn’t worry about it, necessarily. Sometimes people truly send gifts because they just want to send well wishes, not because they think they’ll be invited to the event.

Whether to invite a boss is kinda tough. But I think its also important that you keep your daughter’s desires in mind here too–she is the one who should have the best understanding of her office culture, and the one who will need to continue to navigate the waters there….

Post # 9
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

In most of the mid-sized companies I have worked for, upper management would send wedding gifts, baby shower presents, etc.  They no way expected to be invited or had any desire to rub elbows with the little people at these events – it was just sort of a nice gesture that was some kind of unwritten company policy.  You know, a "see what nice guys we really are" kind of thing.

I would assume that your daughter understands her office culture, as brendalynn says.  And can figure out whether most people invite the big boss, or whether he/she actually expects to be invited. 

Post # 10
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

As far as what I have read, the only etiquette clearly stated is that if you invite someone from your office, you have to invite everyone from your office. If you work in a large office, this is not very practical.  Personally, I would invite the C.E.O. I understand she may not want to, but if there’s room to spare, I think that would be best. He/she may not even come anyway. No one else from the office should be put off because it’s the CEO. If their feelings are that hurt, let them go complain to the BOSS about why he/she was invited and they weren’t. I guarantee you they wont.

Post # 12
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

mlindsey, I totally disagree!  I know that my FI thought the same way – if we invite anyone from work where does it stop?  I think that you can easily establish reasonable criteria.  For instance, you can invite only the people in your immediate group.  Or only the manager who is also your mentor.  In our case, we are inviting only those coworkers with whom we also socialize outside of the office.  There is no particular reason for anyone else to feel arbitrarily excluded by that criteria.

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