- 5 years ago
Summary: I got a STD, attended the shower, sent a wedding gift, but have not recieved an invitation. The mother of the groom is aware I have not and said several weeks ago I will be getting one, but still nothing. What to do?
I am a guest in a quandry. My cousin (the groom) is getting married in less than 4 weeks. I am very close with his sisters, although him less so. My whole family has been invited. I have not received an invitation.
The groom texted me six months ago asking for my address. They then sent me a STD, but oddly, it had my correct first name but my last name was incorrect. Because of the error, the STD got returned to sender – no big deal. The bride or groom then re-sent the STD to my mom’s house and she passed it on to me. My mom immediately told her sister (my aunt and the mother of the groom), about the address/name mixup and gave her the correct address. My aunt said they’d make sure my invitation was addressed correctly.
Moving along, my aunt, again she’s the MotG, invites me to the bridal shower. I attend, talk to the Bride and her family, and am very nice, but the Bride acts coldly. At the time I just chalked it up to shyness/reserved-ness (I had only met her once before. They had a very quick courting/engagement). At shower, my aunt and my female cousins (the groom’s sisters) say I am absolutely invited to the wedding, and that I’ll receive an invitation shortly.
In the meantime, I give a nice shower gift and since I was already on the registry, I decided to buy the wedding gift at the same time and have it shipped directly to the bride and groom. Well now it’s 3.5 weeks to the wedding, I have gotten a save the date (sort of), I attended the shower, and have given them two gifts, but I appear not to be invited to the wedding.
I would like to attend the wedding, selfishly I’ll admit, to see my family who are in from out of town, but also because I honestly wish my cousin well. The probability of the invitation’s being lost in the mail seems low – what are the odds that there is a second mix up? And I’m starting to get a funny feeling about the Bride’s coldness. [There’s a back story here where there was actually an earlier, first bridal shower hosted by the bride’s family to which the groom’s family was not invited except for his mother and two sisters–not even wives of groomsmen etc. Which is weird in itself but IDK.]
Anyway, It’s ok if they don’t have enough money to invite me. I even understand that my aunt and female cousins may want me to come to the wedding but that that may not be the decision of the bride and groom. But why go to the trouble of sending and re-sending the STD? It’s also sort of touchy since I already bought them a gift that was sent directly to them (so I can’t return it). And that’s fine – what’s going to be awkward is how to explain to my whole family when I’m not at the wedding. Because people are going to be asking why I didn’t attend. I feel I should do something, but I don’t feel comfortable contacting my cousin the groom because what if I really am not invited and then he feels obligated to invite me – I don’t want to be at a wedding where people resent my presence.