Post # 1
Recent weddings I’ve been a guest at have been a huge source of wedding inspiration for me.
I’m curious what your experiences have been and, based on that, what you will or will not do at your own wedding.
The biggest take-away from the last wedding I went to is to make sure my OOT guests feel appreciated for making the effort to be there.
Post # 3
no escort cards – had to be excorted by a guy in a red bell boy suit. took FOREVER
too dark – couldnt see my food.
Post # 4
The need for assigned seating! Or at least assigned tables. At the last wedding we went to it was outdoors and we were supposed to grab our chairs from the ceremony and walk them over to a table to sit at. Somehow we ended up at a table with the bride’s grandma and aunts and uncles! It felt like we were definitely not supposed to be at that table but we didn’t want to be rude and move so we stayed. And it was weird.
Also, it confirmed for me that favors are nice, but not needed. The bride had spent hours making seed packet favors for everyone, but in the end maybe five people took them. What a waste of time and effort. And it was funny because before that we were considering giving out seed packets as favors at our wedding because we thought that people would really appreciate them. Not so much, I guess…
Post # 5
Make sure the two sides of seating for the ceremony were mixed together and not seated by who knows the bride and who knows the groom.
We were at a wedding where the groom didnt have that many ppl and the bride had a ton of ppl on her side during the ceremony and it looked so sad.
I wanted both families to mix together!
Post # 6
TO include directions to the reception site in your programs since most guests forget to bring their invitations with them to the wedding. I also went to a wedding once where after the ceremony the bride and groom were outside to start the receiving line but nobody knew- everyone was inside eating the snacks they had laid out until someone finally got the message….sooo fluidity is important 🙂
Post # 7
Have a 3hour gap between ceremony and reception and only have like one chicken wing per guest at the cocktail hour; I was STARVING
start the ceremony an hour and a half late: I was STARVING
serve the cake at like 10:30pm : I was STARVING for dessert
have little kids who ended up starting a mini food fight at the table: I was pissed because I had been STARVING all that time and they just want to throw food around!!
I vow to feed my guests in abundance and in a timely and appropriate manner!
Post # 8
– No cash bar! Guests should not be paying for everything except water at your wedding.
– No favours. The last wedding we went to, the bride and groom gave out candle holders with little votives. Well, they were cheaply made and started falling apart halfway through dinner, and then at the end of the night, most of them were left on the table. Total waste of money.
Post # 9
Only having 1 small bar open for a large wedding (i.e. 130 guests) during the cocktail hour – we spent the whole time in line waiting to get a drink!
Also – not having seating during the cocktail hour. It was very difficult on the elderly guests to be standing the entire time.
Post # 10
No cash bar! I went to a wedding with a cash bar, and they hadn’t even bothered to nitify people that this would be the case. It was just awkward and embarassing. I would have preferred it if they simply didn’t offer alcohol.
Post # 11
I really wanted a cage veil but the bride at a recent wedding wore one and it looked CRAZY – so I think I’m going to pass on that one now.
Also I HATE the huge gap of time between the ceremony and reception – I think it’s soo boring as a guest to wait around (I know people are taking pictures but I’m coming from a guests POV) – so we’re doing reception right after the ceremony in the same location (no flip – just two separate areas). Plus there’s a garden so if we are outside taking pictures people can see – so it’s not like they have no idea what’s going on.
Cheesy DJs are the worst (I feel like they always draw attention away from the bride and groom). We’re not having one because we’re not having dancing (afternoon wedding). My little bro is going to “DJ” from his laptop.
Lastly – I don’t like the bride and groom being at their own table – it seems weird that they’re segregated from guests. I full plan on standing and eating and moving around the room to visit.
God that was long – I promise I don’t hate everything about weddings! 🙂
Post # 12
I have to disagree with the favors – the cost of a wedding is big enough and if guests are also expecting favors, then they are in it for the wrong reasons. I’d prefer the couple not waste their money and put it to better use for the festivities or themselves.
I’m not a fan of escort cards – the table always looks weird after folks take theirs and you know who didn’t show up when the staff forgets to collect it. I’m opting for a seating chart and it’s less paper cards laying around.
I dislike the bridal toss – I think it can be fun but you also put single gals in a light that the men aren’t put in. Funny thing, FI wants me to do it, so now I have to think about it.
Plain guest books – a little imagination here can go a long way. I opted for a photo guest book of our epics, in a year book style for folks to write funny things down. They will love the pics and I’ll love reading their comments.
Finally, valet – if you are going to offer it and the guests don’t have to pay for it (you’d be surprised), let folks know ahead of time so they can take advantage. Otherwise, you as the bride and groom waste money (if it’s not part of your venue fees) and guests miss out.
Post # 13
I also hate the huge gap between ceremony and reception. All dressed up and nothing to do for hours, especially when you’re from out of town.
Assigned tables- so awkward with no assignments. Our group of friends were the only ones that didn’t get the message so we all had to fill in the empty 2 or 3 chairs at other tables.
Getting a DJ not and emcee. One in particular spent 3 minutes telling people to get their camera ready for the first dance.
Favors- edible ones are best.
I’m sure there’s more…. I’m not that grumpy but all lessons learned.
Post # 14
I couldn’t give you a single detail related to which china/utensil pattern was chosen at any wedding I’ve ever attended. Hence, I’m not paying for the upgraded package at my venue 🙂
One of the venues we looked at didn’t have enough seating for all of the guests in any room. Having been stuck in Seating Siberia at one wedding, where the couple didn’t even make it to our table literally until we were being kicked out of the room at the end of the night, we chose a venue that would allow everyone to be seated in the same room.
We’re having no only two bartenders, but two entirely separate bars, to prevent a huge onslaught of people in any one area. And we’re not closing the bar during dinner, as our friends would riot.
No guest cares as much about the little details as the bride. If something doesn’t go my way, I’m going to do my best to just let it go.
We went to 7 weddings last summer, after we got engaged. My absolute favorite wedding could have been a train wreck. The bus taking people to the ceremony/reception/back to the hotel got lost on every single leg of the journey. The ceremony started 35 minutes late because the 2nd bus full of people was still driving around the city. The reception was on the beach, and it rained the entire time. (Yay for last-minute tent rentals!) We had to wait over an hour for the final bus back to the hotel, as it was (unsurprisingly) lost. But through all that, the couple was so completely and utterly thrilled to have all of their guests there. They worked the room, and I don’t think a single guest felt anything less than loved. Their ability to communicate to their guests how fantastically excited they were to see them made everything else fade away.
Post # 15
Something I will do — make sure that there is someone who is expressly in charge of getting everything all set up. (In our case, it’s the event planner @ our venue.) I was recently @ a wedding where the bride gave all of the setup responsibilities to her friends (i.e. her wedding guests) with basically no warning at all. We showed up at the wedding early, expecting to enjoy ourselves with the activities that she had planned (it was at a summer camp). But instead, we spent all afternoon setting up tables, putting together centerpieces, folding napkins, etc. Please don’t do that to your guests. If you do have to enlist the help of friends, then make it clear to them well in advance what their responsibilities will be. …and remember to get them a nice gift to acknowledge their help!
Post # 16
Aubergold — I am sure that sucked really bad when it happened, but your description of it is too funny!
I used to think that a receiving line was not that big of a deal. I have heard complaints about guests disliking how they hold things up, and I did not have much of an opinion on it since the last one I was in was like 10 years ago when I was 13 years old at a cousin’s wedding. But on Saturday when my friend got married, I loved the chance to say a few words to her parents because they were so swamped the rest of the night that I only saw them like one time after that. It has made me want to do one, but it remains to be seen.
I am a huge pro-seating chart supporter.