Post # 1
So my fiance and I (just us two, no quests) are getting married in St Lucia. We plan tothen have a casual barbeque ‘celebration’ with catered food in an outdoor pavilion when we get back. We are going to invite about 50 peopletotal, close friends and family. We will send invitations for this. My question is, is it appropriate to incude a gift registry? We are paying for the catering… but I just dont know what the etiquette is. Of note, I’m NOT having a bridal shower and we didnt have an engagement party or anything like that. This would be the only thing friends/family are coming to relatd to the wedding.
Post # 3
I would say no, they didn’t go to your actual wedding. This is just a little party celebrating your marriage and not the actual thing.
Post # 4
I’m not sure. I would maybe show the registry only to immediate family members if they ask, and not to your friends.
I’m wondering the etiquette myself… having a DW as well. Wondering if I can invite people to the bridal shower who were invited to the wedding, but declined.
Post # 5
Agree with alleycat. They weren’t invited to the actual wedding, just a celebration. I don’t think it’s proper to register. It would seem very gift grabby (in my eyes) to mention a registry.
Congrats on your elopement!
Post # 6
Even though we didn’t plan on having a registry for our wedding, so many people ended up asking so we set up one of those online cash registries. People that couldn’t make it really wanted to give a gift.
Post # 7
If you weren’t throwing a reception, I think it would be gift grabby.
You are, so I have no clue why this is gift grabby. Why would you spend your own money to throw a party, just to get gifts? It makes no sense.
I don’t think it is a requirement that you only give gifts to people if you actually attend the wedding. You give gifts because you love them and want to celebrate their recent marriage!
Post # 8
I would do a registry but not put it on the invitation or anything…
Post # 9
following because I want to do the same thing. and i agree with creaturefromtheblacklagoon.
Post # 10
We are also planning the same type of events. Also not having a bridal shower or engagement party. We will set up a registry but not advertise it. If people ask about it then we will let them know via word of mouth, but it won’t be information that we will offer up without people asking.
Post # 11
Like others have said, I’ll be making a registry as well (our DW will be in Italy and we’ll have the reception when we get back). I don’t see it as gift-grabby and dont really understand why it would be. Ive been to so many weddings where many of the guests skip the ceremony anyway and just show up to the reception.
Edit: I wont list the registry on the invites though…i think thats the norm though.
Post # 12
@sweetpea8181: Since you’re hosting a reception so that your nearest and dearest can celebrate your marriage with you, I think it’s fine to have a registry. Like PP said, just spread it via word of mouth if people ask. I would buy a gift in this situation because I was happy for the couple and wanted to celebrate the start of their life together.
@jaia07: I’ve been reading up on this because I’m having a DW as well. IMO, it’s fine to invite people to the bridal shower who have declined the wedding, as long as you would have invited them anyway. I don’t really care about the gifts, but I want a chance to celebrate with people who can’t come to the wedding due to time, expense, etc.
Post # 13
@sweetpea8181: People are going to want to give you gifts, so I think it’s totally fine for you to have a registry.