(Closed) Reception Announcement Help!

posted 10 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
41 posts
Newbee

I think you should be free to choose what you want your last name to be.  Is there a reason why your FH is so adamant about wanting you to change your name to his?  Maybe because of family history?  Also, if you are planning on having children, they would have his last name, right?  So its not like his name would be "lost."  I know it is really important to some cultures to carry on the family name.

Ultimately I think it is your decision how you want your name to be after you get married.  What about if you both hyphenated your last names?  A couple I know compromised this way (HerMaiden-His Last).  Just an idea….anyone else have any ideas?

Post # 4
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I wouldn’t give in if I were you.  If you feel strongly about keeping or hyphenating your name, don’t change it just to "make things easier" or to make him happy!

As for the announcement at the reception… maybe just do something like, "And introducing, for the first time as husband and wife… HisFirst and YourFirst!" 

Are you planning on going by his last name socially/informally?  That is, if people were to accidentally call you Mrs. HisLast, would you correct them?  And if you have kids and their friends call you "Mrs. HisLast" would you correct them, too?  I’m planning on hyphenating my name legally/at work, but will be ok if friends/kids’ friends/etc. call me by his last name.

Post # 5
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I don’t think you should do anything that feels like giving in.  It is absolutely a decision you are permitted to make, and particularly since you have expressed that opinion since the beginning, he should suck it up and get used to it. 

However, you should know that people are going to call you Mrs. HisLastName anyway.  Or the opposite – when FI and I check into a hotel where I have made the reservations, the concierge often calls us Mr. and Mrs. MyLastName, which he finds very funny!  Since it is the norm, still, for the two of your to have a single last name, people will assume.

I am taking my FIs last name, and am going to use my maiden name as a second middle name, as my mother does.  My little sister has not taken her husband’s last name, although their child has HisLastName.  Its a very personal decision, and by the way is a significant amount of work – especially if you have professional licenses to change – and can end up complicating your career, if you have a lot of publications under your maiden name (which is my sister’s issue).

I guess I would try to figure out why your FI is so insecure that it is somehow threatening to him for you to keep your last name.  Maybe you could work on that together.  My FI told me that, while he would be very pleased and flattered if I took his last name, it wouldn’t bother him at all if I didn’t.  Why should it? 

Post # 7
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

You should be free to pick whatever you want, though I don’t know all your personal reasons (obviously – they are personal..lol) the simply fact that it’s mispronounced all the time doens’t seem strong enough for me to not change my name. But I’m sure there’s more to it than just that for you.

To each their own, is how I feel about it –

I think that even if you hyphenate, or are just introdused as YourFirstNames you’re always going to be refered to as MrsLastName until you correct enough people – and you may just have to prepare for that.  I might start word of mouth so that people get used to the idea and you don’t have to have the "Why didn’t you take his last name" conversation a bajillion times at your reception. Because turst me "For several personal reasons" won’t fly with family memebers because they won’t let it go – at least in my fam they woulnd’t…lol – but my family is a bit nuts too

As for FI – I can understand why he’s a bit taken aback, I mean I suppose he always dreamed his wife would take his name (just as we – well most of us- dreamed of our weddings from childhood)  For him you taking it is a distinct honor, not a lable of you being "his" or anything. He seems really upset and finding out why before it’s time to change them legally is a really good and healthy thing to do. Plus maybe he’s thinking ahead…what last name will your children have, it’s his name sake and I can understand him wanting to pass it on.

Good luck! 

Post # 8
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

PS – Don’t mind typos (I read your response post just now) – have you seen my posts!? LOL – I’m a quick typer too and with no spell check on here…well it’s a pretty good chance everything will be wrong…LOL!

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