Post # 1
I’m just wondering something. We’re sending out reception cards to some friends that we’d love to have at our wedding but we unfortunatly can’t afford to have everyone at the ceremony and supper. When mailing them out I was wondering if it is in poor taste to include where we are registered. My gut is telling me that it is in poor taste since they aren’t invited to the ceremony or supper that they might be offended that we’d expect a gift, but I’m not sure.
Post # 3
@danamelanie: What do you mean by inviting them to the reception but not the supper? Does that mean they’re not invited to the meal, but can come after the meal for the dancing?
In most places, this is considered bad manners, because you in effect have two classes of guest. Before doing any non-meal invites at all, you should be sure it is acceptable in your region.
Post # 4
@danamelanie: mmm I definitely don’t think it’s a good idea.
TBH if I was only invited after the ceremony and meal I wouldnt be going:(
Post # 5
Etiquette Snob here… lol
You will get flack on this topic… especially as tiered Wedding Events aren’t the norm in the USA… where most of WBee’s Users reside.
Lol, so brace yourself.
I on the otherhand, SEE that your WBee Profile says you are in Canada…
Where altho this practice isn’t common… it isn’t rare either (tiered Weddings being something that has carried over here from our close relationship with our “British” Cousins). I have been to many such events in my lifetime.
The Guest List typically is one’s more casual friends than close family & friends (they all having already been taken care of)… so it is perfectly fine for say.. the gals from your Baseball Team, Hubby’s Hockey Team (and their SOs) etc.
Casually, the Reception Cards usually are an invite to come to the Party Portion to Celebrate with the Newlyweds for an Evening of Dancing & Fun.
More formally they would be worded similarly to the Wedding Invite…
In whatever case, they should match the style and presentation of your other Wedding Stationery.
And as is the case with ALL Wedding Invites… from the strictest Etiquette perspective there should be NO MENTION OF GIFTS WHATSOEVER… (be that No Gifts, Boxed Gifts, or Monetary Gifts)
Mentioning Gifts WITH an Invitation is very RUDE… and seen as being Gift Grabby
Put out that info by word of mouth or “discreetly” on your Wedding Website
It is particularly vulgar to invite someone to join just the Party Portion of your Wedding Day and mention gifts.
Gifts should NEVER BE EXPECTED… and more so if it is from someone who isn’t invited to the whole event.
IF they wish to give you something… well that is as they say “just gravy”
Hope this helps,
Post # 6
And you should never include registry information with any invitation (other than shower, and even then that gets iffy).
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. @paula1248 Yes it is pretty common out here to get invited to only the dancing part of the evening. I’ve even been invited to a wedding ceremony at a church and then given a reception invite for a reception at 9pm, when others were invited to the whole event. I’ve even been invited to a wedding and given a bill for my supper that I had to pay before leaving the wedding. I guess it’s different everywhere. But thanks everyone for your advice. I won’t be putting our registry cards in our invitations now since you’re right that’s rude. If people want to know they will ask our family or wedding party or us. I find wedding planning so hard since I’ve never done it before and I on ly have past experiences to go by.
Post # 8
Post # 9
@danamelanie: I’m learning this kind can vary from region to region, but I do think that, no matter where you live, you shouldn’t include your registry info anywhere on an invite 🙂
Post # 10
TO @danamelanie: You are very welcome… glad I could help.
If you need more info / assistance, you can always drop me a PM with the details, and I’ll draft up the appropriate wording for you.
Lol, as for the stories you told about past Weddings… 2 of those would have been quite RUDE.
The one where you were given a Bill for your Dinner… YIKES !!
But also the one where you were invited to one event… the Ceremony and then the Party after the Reception. Not cool.
The rule of thumb for Tiered Weddings, is once you are there.. you are there for the duration. So the correct options would have been… Wedding – Dinner Reception – Dancing… or Reception & Dancing… or just Dancing.
Hope this helps,