Post # 1
My upbringing means I have loads of traveller friends who are sort of like family – and my FI is a vicar and would love lots of his parishioners to join in – so to cut a long story short we decided to have a small ceremony and then a sort of come as you please reception down this 1950’s dance hall we both love with a buffet and bar sort of a thing when any one can come – the only problem in Simon’s parents are unhappy enough as it is with a office wedding (I’m an atheist and they’re both staunch C of E – they’re not that fond of me to put it nicely) and in their minds we should have a civilized sit down meal with wine and lots of slow dancing LOL!
And they definitely don’t like the idea of unstructured guest lists, sausage rolls , jive dancing ,a swing band and – god forbid – smoking!!!
Obviously we aren’t going to change our dream (if slightly odd) wedding for their dream conformist wedding – but Si obviously doesn’t want to upset his parents (the rest of his family don’t mind and some even like the idea) and I don’t want to turn them even more off me.
So what to do – it isn’t practical to have a sit down meal when its a “come as you please” thing – and neither of us could stand an evening of slow dances and dodgy DJ’s .
How do I tell them to bugger off with out being rude – his mum has even tried to get me to change my dress for crying out loud – to something longer and more traditional.
I can understand her being protective over her only son’s wedding but ………. oh dear!
PLEASE HELP!!! (before I run amok with a cake knife)
Post # 3
I think you have to have the kind of wedding you and you SO want. Maybe choose one element of the day that they can plan… talk it over with your SO and then have your SO present the idea to his family. Don’t do it yourself because, you’re right. YOU will get blamed for everything!! GOOD LUCK!!
Post # 4
Yes but what do I give her to do? – she makes posh bespoke cakes (what ever they are) the original idea was that she would do the cake.
Neither of us likes fruit cake and so we decided on 2 tiers one standard sponge one chocolate – she disagreed and refused to make it – needless to say we have since chosen a different bakery. She want’s every thing traditional – and we don’t!
What to do
Post # 5
wow, she is a tricky one… what if she makes a groom’s cake in her style (had to admit I googled Posh Bespoke cake and I still don’t know what it is)…
if not the groom’s cake, then what about flowers for the “sign -in” table or some other area…not all the reception flowers, just a certain “special” table…
sorry, I’m trying to be helpful…
Post # 6
Maybe you could host a small, more “formal” lunch/dinner in between the small ceremony and big bash? That way his family will get their quality, toned-down time with you as a newlywed couple. Then you can continue onto your reception later in the day, and they can decide if they want to stick around or not.
Post # 7
Don’t worry Bridegirl you are being helpful!!!!!! I like the idea of the flowers – we’ve opted for roses (one of the very few things she likes) so maybe she could sort out some sort of centerpiece thing – I think perhaps that that is the key!!! Thank you!!!
and Miss Pinot Grigio … maybe we should consider a small dinner I quite like the idea – it wouldn’t have to be big and posh – but a small select meal – I like it
Thank you girls!!!!
oh and in answer to the “posh bespoke cake” thing, as I understand it is more or less just very expensive designer cake with pleated icing and gold leaf and other equally bizarre things – fun!