- 6 years ago
Since I got engaged, it has kind of been a whirlwind…and while it is supposed to be the happiest time of my life it has been much more stressful/emotional than imagined due to outside factors rather than happiness.
I have always thought I would have a “taditional” style wedding. Meaning, typical reception, dj, guests ect afterwards (not anything big–110 to 125 people) but something more typical with all friends invited and neighbors, extended family etc.
This is the wedding I have been planning since the engagement but I am now having second thoughts due to some personal reasons. Both my mother and my brother struggle with mental illness and have been for quite some time (different illnesses) but this has created a lot of stress surrounding my wedding. Quite a few obstacles have arisen from these situations that have really prohibited me from enjoying the experience like I would like. It is so difficult for me because I am very close with both of them.
Due to these struggles, my mom has been somewhat incapable of enjoying this time, accepting the situation which has really stunted the process for me. In addition my brother is going through a very difficult period and it makes me sad because we are so close and I care so much about him. I worry that he will really struggle on that day (he would be in the wedding party) and I fear that the whole situation will make him feel uncomfortable (ie: having to do entrances, dj, all the hoopla—he doesn’t do well in social scenarios).
Because of all these things I have been thinking over the past few months of maybe just scaling the whole things down considering: still having wedding party and immediate family (ie:about 55 people) and doing a small dinner style reception after the ceremony that was more low key. Maybe just brought some background music in etc. Then, after that celebration rent a shuttle type of thing for anyone in the bridal party who may want to go celebrate at local bars after the dinner (trying to still make it fun for them)
We would also have a gathering back in the town we live for all of our friends outside the bridal party (at a bar or something) who were not invited to the actual wedding
In an ideal world, i probably wouldn’t be thinking about this scenario but this isn’t an ideal world, and these issues are happening in my family. I am trying to come up with like ideas to try to eliminate some stress but it worries me is that I will have regret one way or the other.
I know that no matter what I do, the wedding a choose wont change the problems my mom and brother have, but I am trying to decide what may make the process the most enjoyable.
I just don’t want to choose one and then regret that I didn’t do the other.
Based on just the information I have given you, what do you think I should do because I am so confused right now its not even funny. P.S the wedding is still 13 months away so changes are no inconsiderate or a problem for people.
Also: my fiance’s uncle is a priest and my fiance’s one request is that we are married by him in a church ceremony so we are unable to do a destination style wedding which may be nice in a case like this.
Please shed some light. I need obejctive help.