Post # 1
So, I’m at almost 3 months to go, and about a month ago our contact person at our venue left. I was super bummed since she was awesome and really helpful. We read that a lot of people liked this other lady so we requested her. I am so regretting that now. This lady is so condescending saying, "okay honey" like 100 times and I just want to throttle her. I know, bridezilla of me. But seriously, she talks to me like I’m 5. I’m 25, lady!
I hate discussing things with her because she knows best about everything. She sent us our banquet request order (basically setting everything up for the reception) and there were all kinds of issues. She keeps telling me how I shouldn’t have my florist plan on decorating our gazebo-just get 2 pedestals of flowers in case you have to do inside in the atrium. OK, but I don’t want pedestals. And I swear I saw an arch in the atrium at one point…but she says no, that’s why she suggests pedestals. Ugh. We also had a kerfuffle about the placecards b/c she told me I had to have assigned seats for the servers. I said, no thank you, I wil lhave different colored placecards then to denote what people are eating.
That was 1 win for me. I mean really, do other people have these difficulties? I hate confrontation and I dread calling her everytime I need to change something. I swear I’m so nice, but I feel like I’m getting taken advantage of. 🙁
Post # 3
I would be bothered by her behavior as well. I can stand when people talk "down" to me. I am actually an ex-wedding planner myself and I have worked with people who think they know what’s best for every wedding just because they’ve been doing it so long.
My best advice to you is to stand your ground and start speaking up! The bottom line is it’s your day and let’s face it, you are paying for this thing (and weddings aren’t cheap). You need to get across to her in nicer terms that she kind of works for you and unless there is some lawful or logistical reason you absolutely can’t do something – your wedding will be just as you pictured it. If you dont want pedestals – tell her that and tell her that the next time you come your florist will be with you so you can get ideas on how to decorate the gazebo. Don’t give her the opportunity to tell you no or suggest other things.
Post # 4
Well she might know a lot about the venue, etc. but clearly only you know what’s best for your wedding because only you (and your fiance) know what will make you happiest. I think if I were in your situation I would strike a communication approach along these lines:
1. Assert what I want as fact. I wouldn’t ask for it, or apologize for it. I would just state it.
2. If she offers alternatives, reassert what I want with explanation plain and simple "this is what I would like".
3. If she pushes back again, unless there is some fabulous reason (i.e. its out of my budget), I would ask her to try to find a way to make what I want possible. This whole,"we’ve never done it like that before" is no excuse.
4. At this point if she is resistant, I would remind her that this is why you hired her – to deal with finding a way to make your plans possible, and you would appreciate her efforts.
Have you already been through all of this? Well proceed next to:
5. Approach her boss and ask him/her to intervene to remind this person of their job in serving their customer.
BTW, I think "bridezilla" is such an evil term to make women think they shouldn’t assert themselves. You’re not obnoxious for wanting people you are paying to do what you’re paying them for. As long as you’re polite, you’re fine.
Post # 5
I think she’s looking out for her own interest. I think she’s trying to get you to do things so it’s as easy as possible on her and her staff. It’s definitely not the "bride knows best" attitude you’d like. Stick to your guns. If something really makes sense, give it to her. But if you want your florist decorating the gazebo, to heck with her.
Post # 6
Thanks guys. She’s just irking me like no freaking other!!! I will do my best to stick to my guns…and if not, I’ll stick my FMIL on her. Ha!