Post # 1
I apologize if this gets long winded…long story short –
I’m working as the weddng coordinator for a friend, and dealing with her bitter rude Reception Hall coordinator is becoming an issue!
She won’t let me ask questions about certain things, talks over me, snaps about nothing. Refuses to think about doing things a slightly different way then her “norm” – for instance she wants to set the dance floor up DURING the actual reception after dinner in front of guests and this is unacceptable to the bride. She also said the DJ can’t set up until after dinner so they can’t have any music during the dinner (not to mention they are paying him for the hours of dinner already and the contract can’t be altered at this point) – and the room is definitely big enough for all these things to be done the way my bride wants.
On top of that, she’s never in her office, takes weeks to return phone calls, tells me to come down (over an hours drive for me) if I want to ask her any questions….you get the picture….
Anyway, I have to talk to her again today about the above and a few other small details and to be honest I’m worried about her snapping. Now I can hold my own, but being that I’m working for someone else I don’t want to throw down my bridal instincts on this lady and make my clients mad, friends or not. The bride is ok with me being firm with her but the groom things I’m being a you-know-what so I try not to be too snappy when she has something rude to say…
The couple knows the owner of the golf club the reception is being held at and even that doesn’t seem to bother this lady enough to be polite through a whole conversation.
Can anyone offer me some suggestions on how to handle this. Did you have your dance floor set up during your reception? How was it? Maybe these thing can be done her way and it will be ok. I know if I were the bride how this would go and the bitter, unmarried who complains about her job on the phone to me when we do talk would have no job when I was through with her….lol.
Post # 3
Oh wow, that sucks! I’ve never seen a dance floor assembled while I was eating at a wedding. I wouldn’t be ok with this either. What was her reasoning for it?
As far as dealing with her personality, there’s really nothing you can do but to deal with it! Unfortunately you were hired to do a job, that’s part of the territory. But you can refuse to work with her for any other wedding, that’s for sure! And maybe after the wedding, you can tell the owner of the venue about her unprofessional behavior. She is probably like this to everyone, I’m sure he doesn’t want that. But if no one tells him, it will keep happening.
Post # 4
Wow, if it was yesterday I’d have thought you were making this up.
That’s unacceptable, period. Does it state anywhere in the bride’s contract with the venue when set-up begins? If so, find out what that time is and go from there.
I’m all for following proper form, holding your tongue and being professional, but if this woman is going not going to extend you or the paying client the same courtesy, then I say escalate it to her boss and the owner, ESPECIALLY if the bride and groom have an in. You don’t need to make it personal, keep it professional and highlight the UNprofessionalism that you are being faced with.
And ask her if that’s how she’d have her wedding run, hell ask the owner if that’s how he knows the events at his facility to be run.
It’s one thing if the dance floor is in a separate room from dinner, but setting it up right there in front of the guests while they’re eating? What, is the woman HIGH? (I say this having worked weddings for 6 years, and having planned my own and a few others.)
No. NO NO NO NO NO.
Post # 5
Thank you so much! And we do plan to let the owner know – he will actually attend this wedding being friends with th Grooms family and all. He is out of state at the moment which I think is why knowing they know him isn’t a threat to her. KWIM?
In response to you Christie – she has told me her wedding will have nothing to do with a venue actually – back yard, casual. It’s how the whole topic of her hating her job was kinda coming out to me. Complaints about everything from the work, the set up, everything. Now I’m a vendor, but still it’s not ok to complain to me about your job! If you hate it. FINE! Don’t tell me about it, you were hired to do something.
We’ve already had a argument about the cupcakes when I told her they were having a serve yourself tower. She said “Well you’re still paying cake cutting fees, because they are a pain and I have to find room to store them in the kitchen and that makes the kitchen staff mad and it irritates me”
When I then asked why the cup cakes would ever be in the kitchen since the cake lady would set up and they would stay on the tower she snapped and said “I’m not talking to you about this anymore it’s obvious you can’t discuss it properly. You’re paying the fee and thats final”
I wasn’t even complaining about the fee, I knew they had to pay it and it was fine I just didn’t want her moving the set up tower once assembled! It took a full week to get this sorted with her ad get an actual answer from her!!!
In the end she never gave an answer just offered to leave the tower, took off the cake cutting fee (which we never asked for) and gave them a room discount as well! Great for them, but really why couldn’t we still have gotten an answer from her??
Post # 6
Ugh. I have to run, but this woman should be fired.
NONE of that is ok. You know as well as I do that the cake cutting fee is BS to begin with, not to mention when it’s not even being done! I negotiated mine out of the contract, you should be able to so the same for your friend with CUPCAKES.
I’ll come back and post more, but this is infuriating.
Post # 7
I have always said if venues would put the cutting fee in with the actual room rental fee and not separate making people thing there wasn’t one that that venue would have a ton of people wanting to use them!
I understand that it’s for plating, dishing, busing, washing and putting away of cake and the people who do all this but that being said, ti’s EXACTLY why it just should be in the rental fee or the gratuity added on…..it’s their job, they don’t charge you per plate to feed the guests! UGH!
Anyway I’m awaiting my phone call from the Bitter lady now. I’ll be sure to post and let you know how it goes!
Post # 8
You need to go above her head. Who is this lady’s supervisor?? I also fail to see how the bride and groom should be charge a “cake cutting fee” without a flipping cake? And if they aren’t even going to be in the kitchen, I still don’t see how the math adds up. I guess taking off the fee was her illogical way of throwing you a bone.
The bottom line is that she is not paying the bill. You need to put your foot down otherwise I would explore an alternative venue. Has she been rude to the bride or groom???
Post # 9
Thank you!! We will go above her head! Right now I’m trying to keep it as cordial as possibly because I don’t want her to set up her tables wrong or ruin the wedding day with her bad attitude.
We’re doing this phone call today. Then a meet up for the tasting and if that does nothing – it’s time for me to go after her job! That lady will be really upset she messed with me!!!
Post # 10
I’m very surprised that she’s acting this way, considering the owner and HER BOSS, is personal friends with the groom. Does she know this fact? if she doesn’t, I’d casually but deliberately mention it. And definitely talk to her boss. A little disagreement is fine, but she sounds like she is impossible to work with.
Post # 11
Yes, she knows. It was mentioned by the Bride when they signed the contract and in an e-mail I wrote her not to long ago. Though I am fairly certain that she doesn’t read them fully. And she definitely doesn’t take notes to remember anything.
I wish that finding a new venue was a possibility but knowing the owner has gotten them a HUGE discount and with 3 months to the wedding there’s not enough time or money for it.
I’m trying to find a way to record our conversation today actually. Just for more proof.
Post # 12
Some cell phones have the option to record a short (5-10 minute) phone call. Otherwise it might be best to use e-mail as much as possible, so that you do have plenty of proof.
Definitely go over her head – Good luck. It sounds like you’ve been very reasonable, but the dance floor/no dinner music definitely needs to be cleared up before the reception!
Post # 13
I would try to record your phone conversation if possible. Put her on speaker phone and use a tape recorder or do you have Microsoft Onenote on your computer? It has a recording function. I think Powerpoint might too.
To me, this lady sounds like she has lost all touch with reality. I would tell her that she either needs to get her sh*t together, or you are going to have the owner straighten her out. I would understand if she was being firm about something that might damage the venue or violate their operation rules, but none of what you have asked her fits into these categories. Stay strong, lay down the law! Good luck!
Post # 14
I realize this was yesterday, but some advice that’s helped me at my job:
Sometimes you can’t record a phone call, but take careful notes of all that was said. Note all the thing she said you can and cannot do, any unreasonable demands, and to be fair, anything good that came of it. THEN, after the call email her and say, I just watned to recap our phone call. Here are my notes so that we both remember what we discussed and are sure all of this is correct… and then list everything out.
If she doesn’t respond, it’s kind of like a silent acceptance of it. I’ve had a lot of clients who are totally nuts on the phone, which is why I do this. If they misspoke, or thought better of their crazy demands after the call, they have a chance to redeem themselves. And if they don’t, I have proof that this is what they said and that I recapped it with them for when they deny that they wanted any of the things they said.
Post # 15
I think I would go to her manager. That is NOT professional at all. You should not be scared to be snapped at. This bride is probably spending a nice chunk of money on the venue (I know I am for mine) and she should be able to have her wedding the way she wants. My venue is up for anything and I love that. If we have an idea they will do their best to help us achieve it.
Seriously you need to talk to her employer, she either needs to straighten up or they need to find a friendly more passionate coordinator. She sounds like she is making the wedding miserable for you and the bride. Being miserable will follow you through the planning and the actual wedding if you don’t do something to fix it. I personally don’t like having to “tell” on someone but in your case it sound neccessary.
Good Luck! I hope everything works out well.
Post # 16
UM. Deja vu. The coordinator at my golf course venue is EXACTLY THE SAME. Except a bitter old man.
I would call on the owner card. We did, and the guy was not happy, but you know what my feelings are towards him? If you did your job right and satisfied the bride without throwing the golf course rules out, people wouldn’t have to go over your head and f*** you over.