- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
So anyone who reads my blog (miss pug’s pawfect wedding) will be hearing about this soon, but I didn’t want to post until we notify guests. And I have to vent!
Thanksgiving was horrible. Future Mother-In-Law was fighting with her partner (she’s a lesbian… not that that matters but just for reference) and taking it out on her kids and me. One of my FBIL’s was being a douche and causing fighting and then Fiance was like screw this family drama, I wish we were just going to Vegas for the wedding so we didn’t have to do family stuff (it was a VERY emotional day) and Future Mother-In-Law was like, “oh good!”
Long story short, I press her about her comment… she doesn’t want to give us $$ for the money any more.
When we got engaged a year ago we met with each of our parents to tell them our plans and see if/how they would contribute. My mom said she couldn’t promise anything (she’s financially strapped) but has since sent $500. Future Mother-In-Law offered (SHE offered!!!!!!) a good amount. Enough that we could do certain nice things. Still a VERY budget wedding but nice enough.
We are getting married in less than 4 months and she springs this on us. I felt like Adam Sandler in the Wedding Planner (“Information that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAYYYYYYYYYYY!) since we have sent save the dates, some people have booked flights (my whole family is OOT) and we have $$ coming up due. She wouldn’t say why she wasn’t giving it but then got all defensive and was like “I felt pressured!!! YOU PRESSURED ME!” And if by meeting with her she felt pressured, of course we feel bad… but if she felt she couldn’t say no to us, then we didn’t/don’t have the relationship I thought we did, and it’s insulting. (Turns out, she later admitted that she wants to leave her partner- who is the one with the $$- so she needs the $$ she saved for us to move. I knew there was something behind all of it…)
She then made some hurtful comments about my family which have me feeling VERY angry towards her, but I won’t go into them out of respect for her.
After MUCH deliberation we cancelled our reception. We’re notifying guests by email and then sending an announcement, which invites people to the ceremony if they want, and then informs them that we’ll have casual backyard celebrations this summer in Indy (his fam) and NJ (my fam). They will be fun and cheap and NICE WEATHER so I am trying to be excited!!!
I miss my wedding… the flowers, the pug cake toppers on the cupcakes, the FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS, the first dance… I don’t get any of that. But I’ll try to make the ceremony amazing and I’m glad to not be going into major debt.
Future Mother-In-Law asked us to dinner tonight… not sure what it’s about, probably to announce she’s moving out. Always drama… I wish she’d leave us out of her personal decisions. Fiance and I agreed though that even if she offers us the $$ again, we aren’t going to do the wedding reception… we can’t trust her and we feel better that in this economy, we’re not throwing ourselves into more debt for a night of fun. (Although we will take family and CLOSE friends out to a dinner after- maybe Buca or something- but since so few will be able to make it, it will be affordable for sure.)
My mom is so excited and supportive, but feels badly for us of course, since she wishes we could have what we wanted. She cried reading me her draft email to send to family… I have only heard her cry before at her parents’ funerals, my dad’s funeral, and once on the phone. So this was the 5th time in my life she’s cried in front of me. But she is glad that we aren’t going into debt and also many of my family members were struggling with being able to afford to come out here, so it’ll work out for the best.
PHEW. Just needed to get it all out there. Any ideas to make my ceremony special? (Or pug related????)