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Sounds to me like you don't particularly even want to have a wedding reception at all. If you don't want to waste your money on having a reception than do a courthouse wedding and save that money for your future, house, kids, etc. Seems you're not at all into planning it already and you're this far out, so it's not going to get any more fun for you if you're going into it with the attitude that it is all for other people and not at all for you. Wedding planning, though stressful at times, should be fun for you for the most part, so if it's not something you want to do and you know that already than why waste that money and drive yourself crazy. As you said, you think that a wedding reception is a societal standard - so break the mold, then, and don't have one. If the ceremony is all you care about, then just do that.
It's your day and you're certainly entitled to do what you wish. However, while you are the bride, you are also the hostess and your job that day is to make sure the guests that have assembled to celebrate with you, and have presumably given you gifts, are well taken care of, comfortable and happy as well.
Music is nice, even if it's background instrumental. You absolutely don't have to do the garter thing or the bouquet toss. There are generally toasts at the wedding reception. People eat. Photographs are taken. You mingle and talk to everyone, thank them for coming.
Agree with Kittyachi...seems like you're just not into it. Wedding planning is definitely stressful but it's fun too. I'm sure you could do a reception on your budget, but it sorta seems like you don't really want to...
The reception is a celebration so most of the time people eat, drink and be merry. Whether 'be merry' consists of good conversation, dancing, games, or whatever is up to you. I agree that there are a lot of ways to throw money away when planning a wedding. However, there's a lot of ways to get around that. There's a lot more backyard or potluck weddings going on so don't feel like you have to rent out a hotel ballroom or what not....it's just what some people do. But if you want to celebrate with friends and family you usually provide them with some level of comfort (food and drink and chairs) and that costs money.
we're not doing the whole dancing, garter/bouquet toss, cake cutting thing. we're just going to do a dinner, it's at a b&b, very laid back.
JenniMichele,
Based on what you've said, I see you guys in a park with your 60 guests. A very meaningful ceremony. About 2:00 pm. Followed by cake and punch, horseshoes, hula hoops, lawn chairs, and soap bubbles. With an ipod/boombox. Over by 5:00.
I went to a wedding exactly like that description, and it still stands as the best wedding I've ever been to. And I think the whole thing cost the couple $500 max.
Thank you for your comments. Now that I think of it, I think my resistance comes from one traditional friend/potential bridesmaid in specific, and I'll just have to talk to her about it. If she's got a problem, I can just tell her that if she prefers, she can plan it and pay for it, lol.
I think we're probably going to end up going with hors d'ourves, cocktails and wedding cake.
I think a cocktail hour reception with munchies sounds like the fit for you guys. Don't let anyone else BMs, family or in-laws tell you otherwise! Do what you want to do!
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My fiance and I are planning on getting married in about a year and a half, so we haven't gotten down to the wire yet in regards to planning the big day. We are paying for our own wedding and I think this mom is planning on paying for our honeymoon. We are on a budget, but since it's still about a year and a half away, we have time to save up. But we're having an issue deciding how we want the reception to go. (We need to decide what we are going to be doing so we know how much to save up.)
As of now, we have about 60 people on our guestlist. We don't think many people attending our wedding will be into dancing, so we might scrap the whole dancing thing. Also, I doubt we're going to be tossing the bouquet and garter because it doesn't seem to fit with our crowd. So aside from eating, what else does one do at a reception?
I have looked into different types of receptions: brunch receptions, traditional, cocktails and hors d'ourves, buffet style, etc, but it just seems that it is starting to become more about the reception and what we provide for our guests rather than the fact the everyone we love and care about is getting together to celebrate us making this commitment to each other.
The part of the day that I really care about is the ceremony. I don't care what the rest of the day holds. I've thought about doing a destination wedding or just going to the court house, but we want all 60 or so people at the ceremony. The reception is where I'm having the issue. Why do I need to spend thousands of dollars for something just because it is a societal standard? I want to look forward to my wedding day-- not stress out about it.
[Also: I've never been to a wedding before, so I have little idea of what one consists of (aside from what I've seen in the movies, lol).]
I guess you girls are right. I know how I get when I'm stressed out, and with finances, school, and everything else, I'm just not quite into it. Would just going to a restaurant be appropriate? I always thought that restaurant receptions were for smaller groups. Is sixty people too many to have a restaurant reception?