Post # 1
Ok so I have this dilemna. FI and FMIL agree that we should have a clause on the back of the RSVP cards which states something along the lines of if you RSVP “yes” but don’t attend we will charge the price of the dinner. I don’t want to do it because I feel like its tacky. FI is deadset on this. IDK what to do. :/ IDK if I was clear… if you still don’t get it I’ll try to explain it a little better.
Post # 3
Yep, I could understand you fine.
And I agree, it seems pretty tacky in my opinion. I don’t have any better ideas though :-/
Post # 4
@RobandLil0107: You are right. It’s exceptionally rude to charge guests for missing the wedding. What if someone has a legitimate family emergency and can’t make it? Just by putting that clause on the RSVP, it feels like you’re insulting your guests by thinking they have no manners. It also feels very money grabby, like you don’t want people to come, just send a check
Post # 5
How in the world would you enforce that? Have people include credit card information with the RSVP? I’d never agree to that as a guest. I’ve never heard of that and would think it was really odd.
Post # 6
That’s extremely tacky and rude. I personally wouldn’t even bother to RSVP if I saw this. Also as PP mentioned, how would you enforce this “rule”?
Post # 7
Ok, so FI worked at a reception hall and he’s seen this before. That’s where the idea came from. Pretty much if its an emergency obviously we wouldn’t charge, but my family is a rowdy bunch and would more than likely RSVP yes then go clubbing instead. IDK how he plans on enforcing it all he keeps saying is “it binds them into a contract” (he’s the law savvy guy in the fam and knows pretty much most of his laws.) ugh he’s so set on this its bugging me because I feel like it’s not a wedding its just some sort of contract and they are there because they are being forced.
Post # 8
You’re right, that’s incredibly rude and tacky. That said, my wedding was last weekend and we had a few no-shows (not many, just 2 I think) and I’m totally ticked at them! If they had just texted me to say they couldn’t come a day or two before, I could have let the caterer know and saved $50 a plate…but I think people just don’t realize that weddings cost money per plate.
Maybe instead you could put something on your website asking people to PLEASE let you know if they RSVP yes but then are unable to make it.
Post # 9
OMG NO way! Don’t do that… What a turn off. I wouldn’t even come to a wedding with that sort of invite!
Post # 10
If you are really worried about it what about doing something like this;send out some cute little post card two weeks before your wedding that says somethinon along the lines of “we are so happy that you RSVP’d to attend our wedding and we are really looking forward to sharing our day with you on 1/18/14. We do understand that sometimes plans can change or things come up and we just want to request that if for some reason you can no longer attend our wedding please let us know as soon as possible so we can plan accordingly. Otherwiwe, we can’t wait to celebrate with you, see you soon :)”
Post # 11
What if instead you put something like this,
“If you RSVP “yes” but end up unable to come please inform us immediately so we can take you off the list for our vendors. Due to budget constraints we cannot afford to be paying for people not actually attending.”
Post # 12
That’s more than tacky. Do not do it!!
Post # 13
Holy cow!!! NO, this is not acceptable!!
No, no, no, no, no.
Post # 14
So what happens when you have a no show, you send the bill and they refuse to pay…then what? Do you send thm to collections? File a claim with a small claims court over a $40- $60 plate? Harass them like bill collectors or telemarketers until they pay the bill??
Post # 15
I just wouldn’t include anything about it on the invitations. Everyone knows that it’s rude to be a no-show for just no odd reason…but things do happen sometimes. I have never heard of including anything like that on the invitations…I would be horrified if I read it, just being honest…lol