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Honestly, I am of the opinion that inviting someone to the reception and not to the ceremony is rude. If you aren't close enough to them to have them their at the ceremony, don't invite them to any part. If you are sure that is what you are going to do, at least give them the nice invite. Even if they are B-listers, they shouldn't feel that way.
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I agree with Niki. Why would you not invite them to the whole thing? My husband and I got invited to a reception but not a ceremony a couple of years ago and he was in heaven. He was so excited he got to go to the fun part without the "boring" part. LOL What a guy!
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I am also confused by your post...what do you mean by "drop the cash on food" Are you having food at your ceremony? Why would you not invite them to the ceremony if you are willing to spend the pp price for them at the reception.
Another confused poster here - it doesn't cost anything to go to the ceremony - why wouldn't you invite them to that? I don't get that. Do you only want to party with them and not have them share in the special part?
Maybe this is a regional thing, in the upper Mid-West it is common to invite people to only the dance part of the reception and not the ceremony and dinner.
So, in answering that question, just make up a cute one-sided card with information about the dance, mat it on the black paper and send it out. Maybe add a little crystal or something to it. That is my suggestion, you can still keep it simple, but make it look nice.
My FI and I were once invited to just the dance portion of a wedding and my FI thought they were just not having a dinner. I think he felt a little bummed out that he did not get the full invite once he realized that there was a dinner involved. Then again, we are not inviting them to our wedding so we saved money there.
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Sorry gals, I was really vauge - no posting before coffee!...okay no, no food at the ceremony...LOL.
What I mean is, we can only afford to feed so many gusts at the receptioon (TIGHT budget) but we're having a large dance after the small dinner with the family and what not.
I can't give them a regular invite because it's a pocket fold, and I would have to remove 2 of the 3 inserts and that would be a little bear, so I thought I would make something else really nice but a little less costly for them.
I understand why you might find it rude, but not everyone can afford to feed that many people. This is similar to being married else where and then haveing a reception when we come back, but we're just doing it all in one day.
And if I invite them to the ceremony, and they put a 4.5-6 hours between the ceremony and the dance, probably wouldn't work for them, so we're just having the dance be the part they are invited to.
Hope this helps. And like I said this might be a regional thing, I understand some of you would never do it or what not.
I personally would be offended to receive only an invitation to the reception. It looks like you're more concerned about getting a present rather than having someone share your day (my opinion anyhow) If you can't invite someone to both, and the wedding is the most important part.. why invite them at all. If your food budget is too small to invite more guests, then that's your answer right there.
Yeah, my opinion still stands. Go with your first instinct, that it is rude. Don't know about the idea being regional, but I do know what the etiquette books say.
I would take your swirly design and print it out on white paper, back it with your pink stardream, and change the wording to "Please help us celebrate our marriage XX time XX place" so that they know you're not inviting them to the wedding. You wouldn't need your belly bands or pocketfold, since you wouldn't have any enclosures. Good luck!
I think it's rude too and I would be sad/offended if someone did that to me. If you can't afford to feed them, don't invite them.
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Hi,
I'm originally from England and its really common there to have a wedding where you invite the closest family and friends, and then have an evening reception where you invite lots of people to share in your day. Maybe its different because the dinner is generally served quite soon after the ceremony and can be very expensive, so it would be almost impossible to be able to pay for everyone! Normally, people come later to the evening party, where there is a buffet as well and lots of dancing! I don't think its rude - if you have friends who you like but are not hugely close to, or extended family who you don't see very often, a large reception can be a way of celebrating with them whilst the ceremony is still kept intimate.
I've been to a few receptions without the ceremony and it was still great to celebrate with the couple at the party even when I knew they were having a very small family wedding or didn't have a lot of money.
Anyway, maybe that's just because I grew up in a different country where it is the norm! On to the invitations...
I would suggest something with the same design as the main invitation, but possibly smaller/with less presentation (ribbons etc)? (so that it doesn't look like a second choice type of thing, but isn't overly flashy for the purpose) And use wording such as 'an evening reception to celebrate the marriage of...'? That way its clear but still polite.
Good luck!
I don't think its rude to have a reception that is larger than the ceremony itself. My fiance and I have discussed doing the same thing. I have been thinking of having a small and intimate ceremony and dinner with my very close family and friends, but we also have co-workers and aquaintances who would like to celebrate with us. We plan on having a cocktail party with dancing as a separate reception.
I love greenwedding's wording, and I feel like if these are your friends, they understand that there are factors such as financial restraints that prohibit them from attending the dinner. And if they are your friends, they will just be happy to celebrate with the two of you no matter what.
I think a single card invitation - much like that to a regular party - would be appropriate, and should save you some money as well instead of the pocket folds.
Good Luck!
Wow, I would be totally offended if I only got an invite to the dance part of the reception, no matter how it was worded or printed. I would not come and I would think less of the couple that deigned to "invite" me at all. If you can't provide for your guests (at least a dessert reception, or apps, or a small luncheon-- doesn't have to be an all-out plated dinner) then I'd say cut the guest list. Otherwise it smacks of gift-grubbing.
I do agree that it's a regional thing and I understand how some people think it's rude, but I personally don't think it is.
I agree with greenwedding as well!
Maybe its just me, but I'm struggling to see how someone would be offended because they were invited to the party but not the ceremony. I know that my friends, co-workers and extended family, who might not be close but who I would love to see on my special day, would be even more offended if I left them out entirely! Plus, anyone who was a friend or even a co-worker would surely never think a couple were 'gift-grabbing' - what friend would think that of another? If they knew that you were struggling to afford too many people, they would be happy knowing that you thought of them at all!
I know that people come from different backgrounds and traditions, but I would be hurt to think that anyone would 'think less of me' if I couldn't afford to invite them to the ceremony/meal, but still wanted them to share with me the love, feelings and emotions of the day (which I think are more important than a short ceremony and meal).
No offence to anyone, I just can't understand it.
Wait, I'm confused, she's inviting them to the reception and not the ceremony, so she's spending the money on them. Ceremony wouldn't cost extra, right? Maybe I'm missing something. Because she said about not dropping the cash for the food, but... I'm just really confused. 
I've been to a few weddings that did this and I never thought it was rude. Guests invited to the dance and not the ceremony and reception generally don't bring gifts, but they get to join in the fun and celebration! I second rebecca!
I think it depends on how many people are being invited to the entire event and how many are being invited to the dancing only. If it is only family and the wedding party invited to the ceremony and dinner, I would expect the rest of your guests to understand. However, if the majority of your guests are being invited to all events and only a select few are only being invited for dancing, some people may feel left out and uncomfortable. The issue is not that everyone isn't invited to the ceremony, but that some people are seemingly being asked to arrive late to the reception and not participate in dinner. Is that the case, or are the dinner and reception at different locations?
All that being said, I'm sure you know your friends best. If that's the way things are handled in your area, and you are confident no one will be offended, do what you'd like :) I agree that a single card that says "we request the pleasure of your company at a reception to celebrate the marriage of..." would be great.
Leah - I think she's inviting them to the dance portion of the reception - AFTER the ceremony and dinner.
Whatever you decide to do, I think you should make it clear that they aren't getting food at the reception. If I would just invited to a reception, I would think I would be getting fed.
Jma- Thanks for clearing that up for me.. haha. How much time is there after the dinner though?
Ok, now that it's a bit more clear, I stand by my answer. I think it's very rude to invite people after you've already eaten, etc. It's like saying...We want your gift and we like you a little bit, but not so much that we want to spend any money on you. I don't care if it's common where you are from or not, it's tacky.
Sorry...i'm confused...she's only inviting them (acquaintances) to just the dance part of the wedding, AFTER the reception? How do you know when the dance part starts? That doesn't make sense...being invited just to come to the party afterwards?
I find it odd...and yes, maybe a bit rude...If I drop in at the time everybody has already been there for hrs. and see food plates but no food...is like an afterthought....BUT if your dinner and reception are at two different places and you have refreshments at least...I guess it could be OK...like a house party or something.
Obviously, there are some regional differences in ettiquette on this. Since the dance-only people are likely to be locals, they will probably be fine with it if it is common in your area.
I think one way to avoid the appearance of gift-grubbing is the simple phrase "Please NO GIFTS" somewhere on the dance-only invite. I've also seen this expressed as "Your presence is your present" but I think that is too vague and sounds like you really DO want a gift anyway.
Hey everyone thanks a ton for all the input - although most of it really wasn't too much of a design help like I was actually asking for, I suppose I mis communicated and made a bigger issue then needed. Sorry for all the confusion - for those that did offer me some design advice on it - thanks! :-)
Also, thank s for all your opinions gals. I think I've got what I need and I'll show everyone what I come up with later on!
:-)
Sweeny2Be, we are doing this as well and everyone we discussed it with thinks it is a great idea. We are using the following wording:
Please join us for a reception and dance honoring Jenniferb and Fi, Day Month date year/ Location
We plan on having everyone after dinner has been cleared and before dessert, so they will get food, drinks and fun! We are also having a late night food surprise, so they can have dinner too.
Good luck!
Hi Sweeny2Be!
I have to say...you caused quite the stir, didn't you? *wink* lol
Regarding the invitation design, I second previous suggestions to create something that is keeping the theme of your full invitations. Use similar patterns, font, colors, papers, etc. but simplify down to a single card and your choice of RSVP option. Perhaps you have an RSVP post card stacked on the invitation and bind it with a belly band or a sleeve of some kind.
I do not personally take offense to your method of handling your guest list. We have a unique schedule as well so I can understand your desire to include more people in the celebration while watching budget. Weddings are expensive, but that does not limit our desire to celebrate with people so I think creative means of allowing for that make for great ideas! Jenniferb brings up some great ideas in referring to her own wedding...I think the idea of providing a party for people and still including some level of refreshments (dessert, cocktails, and/or snack foods, etc.) is really important so guests understand they are welcome and appreciated and you know they are comfortable. But then, this is true of any event one might host so I do not personally perceive your desire to invite additional people to the party as desiring to be inhospitable...but that is just me! 
At any rate, best of luck and I look forward to what you come up with!
I think this is becoming more commonplace. We also are planning to have work friends and acquaintances at the dance but not the ceremony or dinner so that we can keep the count under 300! 
These people realize they are coming to have a good time, and that we don't expect gifts from them. They appreciate that we are including them in our day and are excited to party with us!! Anyhow, I second a lot of the previous posts:
Sally and Joe invite you to join us at a dance celebrating our marriage. Please come get down with us at 7pm on Saturday, the 10th at the Bla bla bla Venue in Madison, WI.
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I'm all for inviting people to the dancing part of the reception. It may be rude, but I don't have an unlimited budget. Plus, it's a great way to invite people you aren't super close to but would still enjoying seeing at the wedding. I'm having 130 guests (close friends and family) at my wedding--we originally wanted 90.
I would like to invite SOME of my corworkers and employees to the wedding, but since I can't show favouritism, I have to invite them all. All 60 of them. I can't afford that. So all my corworkers are getting a pretty evite (inexpensive and green) to join us for drinks, dancing and desert around 9pm.
If they get offended, tough. If they decide not to show up, no problem. I'm happy and comfortable with the fact that I'm extending an invitation to them.
BTW, inviting people to the dancing part is also a great way to inject some life into the party.
Most of the guests have been hanging around since 2 or 3pm, they may not be in a dancing mood come 10pm (I've seen it happen too many times).
When the new batch of guests arrives at 9pm, they are refreshed, alert and ready to party. They are the ones who'll be dancing until the wee hours of the morning.
I don't see why you would invite people to your reception but not the wedding ceremony? You just want your co-workers there for the party? I'd rather have people at the ceremony than the reception. You are getting married...that happens once in a life. Dancing at a party, a million other happenings.
I agree. I'd love to have all my guests at the ceremony. The problem is that some guests aren't invited to the dinner part of the reception, only the dancing part.
When the ceremony ends and most of the guests head off to dinner, what do you tell the other ones? "Okay guys, we're off to eat now. But please hang around for the next 3-4 hours and then come to join us for some dancing."
That's a little too tactless for my taste.
The only options left are:
1. Invite everyone to the ceremony+dinner/dancing reception.
2. Invite some to the ceremony+dinner/dancing reception and some to only the dancing reception.
3. Invite some to the ceremony+dinner/dancing reception and not invite the others at all.
I can't afford option 1, so I'm going with option 2. I'd rather some guests skip on the ceremony and at least come share ONE part of the evening with us.
im doing the same thing! venues are expensive and money is tight these days! If people your inviting dont understand that then I wouldnt even concern yourself with them. i was invited to a reception only and being offended didnt even cross my mind. There was a little not that said due to the large number of important people in our lives and a tight budget, we are doing a small private wedding. We hope no one will be offended and everyone will join us for the reception celbration!
No one should be EXPECTED to invite everyone, its your day.. you cant do your wedding the way others would want you to.
We are having an intimate ceremony, our venue only seats 120 people. So that is our cap, & I am greatful for that. A lot of people are not close enough to really care if they attend the ceremony.
We are having a plated dinner with our ceremony guests. After that, Hor doeuvors, cocktails & dancing for our reception guests. Light fare is much cheaper than plated & still gives us the option for an elegant affair for both sets of guests without spending unnecessary funds.
We are also having some guests invited to only the after dinner festivities. We are printing our own invitations, and like you, we are doing pocketfolds for the guests invited to the ceremony and dinner. We would love to be able to invite EVERYONE to EVERYTHING, but space and budget won't allow it.
I have confirmed with our reception venue that dinner will be finished at a certain time. I am making invitations for the drinks and dancing guests which are only one page and include information about the reception venue and time they should arrive. We are not including anything about our wedding website which is where our gift registry is because we do not expect these guests to give us anything.
Hopefully that helps. And I agree with other posters that it may be a regional thing, but I think the guests we are inviting for later in the night will understand and be happy that they are getting to celebrate with us and have free drinks! LOL
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Hey gals, say have any of you made up a seperate invite for people invited to the reception only? Initally we weren't going to do this because I though it was kinda rude - but for co-workers whome are on Mr S' team but don't really know him closely enough to drop the cash on food and such, - so I was talked into it...
I don't want to do the whole she-bang like I did with my regular invites, but I don't want it to look cheap and lame either....
Any suggestions? Photos? Tips?
Thank you thank you!