Post # 1
So my future in laws sat us down for dinner on my birthday and talked wedding. They say they want to do one of two things, throw us a reception or give us a honey moon…
Fi and I counted out the honey moon when first getting engaged, being real the wedding is going to cost too much money so we figured we would wait until the summer (we are getting married in April) and have a honey moon then.
His parents say they will pay for the whole reception leaving only the ceremony for me and my mom to pay. They would pay food music alcohol tables chairs etc.
Well originally our guest list was 200 but we cut that down and have about 75-100 tops. And even before hand we were cutting corners. Music for free (fiance is in a band so his guitarist is playing solo for the reception) we found cheap catering (400 for 100 people and froma well known very popular restaurant in town, we just have to pick it up, and the reception location has all of the set ups and everything) photography for only $150, and the best part, reception location is FREE. I work at a hotel and am friends with the girl in sales who rents it out and she’s letting us use it for free.
I’m also planning a ton of DIYs, so all in all we are saving a heck of a lot of money.
So that leads me here, fiance wants to have the honeymoon, I’m alright with the idea, I just don’t know, am I making a mistake accepting this and choosing the honeymoon over the nicer reception? What would you do?
Post # 3
If you are happy with the DIY/budget reception you were planning, I say accept the honeymoon! If you were unhappy having a budget wedding, use the offer to have a more lavious reception!
Post # 4
Forgot to mention…
We also have the cake for free as fiances grandmother used to make wedding cakes for a living, she’s retired but she still has it all. We also have the flowers covered already and the honeymoon is supposed to be a cruise on one of the major cruise lines to the Bahamas for 4 days. Never been on a cruise or to the bahamas but fiance says he really wants me to go.
We already, despite which we choose, are cutting costs left and right. Invitations are also free as well. One of the joys of living in a small town where everyone knows everyone, you get help with practically everything
Post # 5
I would personally accept the honeymoon and cut costs on the reception, only because my SO and I have discussed that our honeymoon is our one vacation that we are going all out on!
Post # 6
I went to a wedding once where the bride’s gown cost more than the entire reception, and it was obvious to everyone there. We sat on folding chairs in an elementary school gymnasium and ate ham and cheese finger sandwiches that were homemade. Instead of centerpieces they tied helium balloons to the chairs. There was a cd player (no nice speakers) playing and sparkling cider instead of alcohol. Now, I have NO issue with an inexpensive reception, and was happy to celebrate with them, but she was wearing a designer gown, and a lot of us had already heard from her how she blew 60% of their wedding budget on it.
My impression, as a guest, was that she was more interested in feeling pretty than being a good hostess. Her choice, but it certainly left an impression.
You just need to figure out where your priorities are – hosting or playing.
Post # 7
Well the reception we are planning… It’s going to be in the ball room here at the hotel I work at. It’s a nice room and many people hold their receptions here. They have all of the tables chairs table cloths silverware cups the plates etc as well as the set up for foods. Since typically they don’t allow outside catering, but considering I work here and the sales manager is a friend of mine she’s letting me use everything and have my own outside food.
She considering the business our hotel gives the local restaurant) has gotten a great deal on the food for us. It will be pulled pork, chicken, all the sides, deserts, all kind of different types (we’re having a southern wedding, being in the south historic town and all)
The music is good, local music, classic rock type music. The isle music is violin (a friend) my favorite instrument is the violin so it’s great. We’re doing personalized gift bags all DIY, centerpieces are DIY but we’ve come up with great rustic ideas. The flowers are all DIY as well. I’m a bit crafty. I’ve made the bouquets out of my favorite romance novel and have perfected burlap roses.
The wedding cake as mentioned is free but by a retired professional. We are having a full open bar, since we’re saving money with so much we figure we’ll go all out for the bar.
I’ve made my head piece, will be making many more things including the ceremony jewelry, already made my sash, I considered making my dress but instead am buying one online, I’m great at online shopping.
So although it will be cheap and not this big fancy party, it will save money and will be a nice southern wedding… Like we both want 🙂
Post # 9
It seems like you’re pretty set on the reception, so why not take the honeymoon?
Post # 10
In that case, if you can afford to do the reception (or the HM) well, then I’d take whichever one costs more. Always a woman of business.
Post # 11
Do the honeymoon! It sounds like you have the reception pretty well set!
Post # 12
@QuietOne: I agree.
Also do the inlaws know the actual cost of the reception already? I would probably ask them a budget before deciding. You could upgrade or add things that you have decided to skip when you were restricted by budget (not saying take advantage of their gift but those small things that would make it better for you but have grudginly given up).
Post # 13
I say stick with the budget friendly reception you were already planning and accept the honeymoon. I know I would regret missing the opportunity to go on holiday with my FI, but maybe that’s because we don’t get the opportunity to do that very often. We’re having an extremely informal reception for a very small number of people, that’s very budget friendly so that we can have a honeymoon.
That’s just what’s best for us though, your priorities might be different than ours. If a nicer reception is more important to you, and you can afford a trip later, then I think you should do that and wait on the honeymoon. I guess what I’m really saying is that you should figure out which one is more important to you and your FI. Is it likely that you’ll never get to do one or the other again? If so, go with what you won’t get to do at a later date. Hope this helps 🙂