Post # 1
I wanted to get your opinion on my situation.
I am having a beach wedding in July. We do not expect many people to come (maybe 20-30??) because family is 12 hrs away from the beach. We thought about heading to a nice/fun seafood restaurant with a big open room after the ceremony to hang out/mingle. It is not in our budget to pay for everyone’s meals but we want to be together with them for the night. Is that tacky to say “Hey, meet us at ‘X'”? Would you be offended?
We have also considered having a reception in our hometown a few months after the wedding with cake and punch with our wedding pictures on display.
What do you think about this? If you were the guest what would your thoughts be?
Post # 3
@adams.sarah2012: Usually the reception, especially at a restaurant is paid for. Sorry, it is tacky to expect the guests to pay for the restaurant meal…
Post # 4
I don’t know….if you were having a cake and punch reception after the wedding, that would at least be “the reception” then dinner wouldn’t have to be part of it. If you’re going to the restaurant right after the wedding, and you invited your guests all that far away, I don’t know how to get you out of paying for their food. I understand a low budget, and the wedding is about the couple, not the food, but I might think it was a little odd to bring us 12 hours and not feed us *anything.*
Post # 5
I think the dinner can be done politely as long as it is immediate family. If you honestly explain your situation early on I don’t think they would mind. But it also depends on how your family is. Are they low key & wouldn’t care or are they the type to think it’s tacky?
Post # 6
You cannot invite people to a wedding ceremony without hosting a reception of some sort. You don’t need all the bells and whistles (DJ, dancing, bouquet toss, cake cutting, etc.), but you do need to “receive” your guests following the ceremony.
When you receive your guests, your hospitality obligations include thanking them for coming and providing refreshments that are appropriate to the time of day. If you’re asking people to come out around dinnertime, you must pay for their dinners.
If you don’t want to pay for everyone’s dinner at the seafood restaurant, you can have an off-mealtime ceremony followed by cake and champagne, or light finger foods.
Or you can have a private ceremony on the beach and have a delayed reception at a later date, where you provide all food and drink.
But asking people to travel 12 hours to witness your ceremony and then buy themselves dinner for the privelege of spending time with you post-ceremony is not okay.
Post # 7
Invite them to the restaurant ONLY if you are paying for everyone’s meal. If you can’t swing that, then simply have cake and punch afterwards.
Post # 8
I am thinking of doing something similar for my wedding. I am getting married on a Thursday in Las Vegas and having my reception a month later on a weekend in Southern California (where we live). Not every one can make it to Las Vegas.
We have already mentioned to people that the reception will be held back in Southern California and we will probably do a pay your own kind of dinner informally in Vegas. Only about 40 people will be going to Vegas, we will probably have more at our reception a month later.
FI wants to go to a buffet and that is kind of the one thing I have let him contribute so that is our decision. I think as long as people know in advance that the reception will not be held that same day you should be okay. All my friends and family are just happy to have a reason to go to Las Vegas.
As long as you are happy that should be all that matters. It is your wedding day and you should celebrate how you choose. If people are just coming for a free meal they probably shouldnt be there in the first place.