Post # 1
So, the venue we would really like will only hold 150 people. Right now we are at a guest list of approximately 255. Of which, about 75 will come from my list and only about 50 will come from Mr.TKE’s list. So, we should be ok, right?
Wrong. The only reason only 50 people are coming from Mr.TKE’s 133 people is FMIL thinks only 50 will show up if it is OOT for their family. Our ideal venue is approximately 4 hours from most of his family (so, very OOT).
Next situation: Mr.TKE thinks it would be a glorious idea if we have our wedding at this ideal place, we should have a reception after in both our hometowns. I nixed that for my fam, most of them should be coming anyway (it’s only 1.5 hours from my hometown). But he would still like to have one near his hometown so his family can go.
My thoughts are:
- WTH? I’ve never heard of this before unless you’re having a DW and where did he come up with this plan?
- It seems awfully greedy to me to have 2 receptions.
- How are we going to pay for another reception?
- So, we need to bank on approximately 64% of our guests declining? That’s a lot!
Maybe I’m just over-analyzing this? I don’t know. Any opinions?
Post # 3
I know how you feel! We are assuming a certain number of our OOT guest won’t come. That said, we are in the process of switching from our perfect but small venue to a larger, venue that will accommodate more guests. If we hadn’t switched, my back up plan was to have a cocktail reception during which very heavy and abundant finger foods (the equivalent of a meal) were served instead of a seated meal.
Post # 4
If he wants to do something with his fam what about a real simple bbq. I think your way risking it with the venue size. can you cut down your guest list?
Post # 5
No, you’re smart not to bank on people not showing up. Invite no more than your budget AND venue can handle.
Post # 6
never assume people won’t show up. Too risky
Post # 7
You know what they say about the word assume… it makes an @$$ out of U and Me. Don’t bank on people not showing up. Only invite as many people as the venue and your budget can fit! Do a search on here and see just how many posts there are from ladies lamenting that all of these sure no’s rsvp’d yes and now they have more then they can fit!
Post # 8
We are going to have to try and figure out the same thing. However, my FI’s family lives 3,000 miles away. I’d say with the distance only being 4 hours, I would not invite more than your venue and budget can handle. I’ve read some sites suggesting to have an A and B invite list that you could go to as you get “no’s” back, but be careful with that if people talk within the family. We will be having a second reception, but 3,000 miles is quite different than 4 hours. Like a pp said, you could do a BBQ. If you were worried about being greedy, you could say “no gifts”.