- 3 years ago
Warning: I’m sorry if I offend any Catholics- that was not my intention by posting this.
FI and I were both raised Catholic, though he actually went through Confirmation and I didn’t (I did go through Communion). (Note: I was raised Catholic via my mother, who passed away and has no reletives who will be attending the wedding.) We used to periodically go to church, especially on Christmas and Easter, but we haven’t regularly attended in a few years- we just don’t enjoy mass. Now I’m sure there are some priests who make mass an incredible experience, but we just don’t get that from the church we were attending.
We got engaged in May. Even before we got engaged, we knew we would get married in a Catholic church. Especially after the destination wedding debacle FI’s brother had (wedding outside of a catholic church = not a “real” marriage in the eyes of Catholics). Basically, FI’s grandmother refused to attend the wedding because it wasn’t in a church, and his mom was even a little uncomfortable with the whole situation. So his mother and grandmother were thrilled when we decided to have our wedding in a local Catholic church, a rather progressive parish. We’ve already booked the church.
We recently moved 4 hours from where we will be getting married. We haven’t started the Pre Cana classes yet as we haven’t joined a church in our new town. We’re getting married in June. We did attend one mass at the church in our town and absolutely hated it. It was just so… not us. We found another Catholic church in a nearby town that we keep saying we need to check out. But neither of us really want to go..
The more I think about it, I really don’t want to get married in a Catholic church. My dream ceremony would be outside, surrounded by the natural beauty of the outdoors. And I think FI might agree with me, but I think he’s scared to admit it.
See, I just don’t agree with at lot of the Catholic church’s beliefs.
No cohabitation before marriage (FI and I have been living together for a majority of our relationship). Homosexuality is a sin (I mean, its the 21st century people). You must attend mass every Sunday because the church is the house of God (Personally, I believe that as long as I live a meaninful life full of love and kindness, it doesn’t matter where I worship God. I feel most connected to God in the beauty of nature among His creations). And I feel as if the Catholic church is a money fueld empire rather than a religion (Do a little research on the church..).
FI agrees with most, if not all of these points. So why should we get married in a Catholic church if we don’t really identify with the religion anymore? Where could we get married? Who could marry us? How do we break it to FI’s family? Is it even okay to “change your mind” about your ceremony location? I don’t want a completely secular ceremony- I don’t want God left out of the ceremony.. So what are our options?