Post # 1
I kind of wanted to write this post for any bees out there who are currently getting their anatomy scans and may be dealing with gender disappointment one way or the other- I know these posts helped me back in December! 😉
I’m currently pregnant with our first child, and in the beginning of my pregnancy, while MOST importantly I wanted a healthy baby, I was secretly hoping for a girl. I only admitted this to a few friends. I wanted a girl because, well, I am one! It’s all I know! I wanted pink and bows and tutus and Disney Princesses. At my 12 week appointment, baby’s heart rate was in the 160s, and since this old wives tale had held true for my mom, I convinced myself I was having a girl.
Our 20 week scan came and so did our gender reveal party which showed baby W was all boy. My husband was thrilled and I felt disappointed. I spent a lot of time on the internet reading about gender disappointment stories and feeling so guilty. I tried to do things to get me excited like shopping for him and painting his room really early. It helped, but deep down I still felt a little bummed out that he was not a she.
Well- something has happened over the last few months, and I don’t really know when or what, but I have bonded with my son! I’ll have these moments where I’ll feel like I miss him and will start wishing he’ll kick and moments later he’ll let out a big solid kick to my bladdar that just makes me smile and feel like we’re connecting! His room is all set up and I could spend hours in there just sitting on the floor imagining what it’ll be like when he arrives! I can’t wait to meet HIM! I feel so much love in my heart for my son! My jealousy over those who are having girls is completely gone! When I walk into a baby store I immediately head to the boy’s section and no longer longingly gaze at the girl’s section.
Just a little post in case you’re feeling gender disappointed right now. You won’t always feel this way! 😉
Post # 3
@Cwoodward: So glad you are connecting with your son and things have changed for you. You are truly blessed to be having a baby 🙂
Post # 4
That’s awesome! I am worried I will feel the same way ( when we get PG, IF it’s a boy!) so it’s nice to read about how you got over it 🙂
Post # 5
I think we all have our secret gender preferences. It’s great that you are now happy with your situation and I think it will be just plain adorable to see your husband and son have “boy time” together. In my experience, when boys are little it’s all about mom and at least for me, I was daddy’s little girl. You will have a great bond with that little man! Congratulations 🙂 And maybe your next child will be a girl for big brother to take care of.
My FI and I both want to have boys – three of them to be exact – but I will be happy with either gender (I hope!). We lost our son last year through miscarriage and we are not currently TTC until after our official wedding. After that experience, all I can hope for is a healthy baby that we carry until term 🙂
Post # 6
Thanks for your honesty and congrats.
Post # 7
That is great! How exciting for you 🙂 This is the reason I plan to find out rather than go team green.
I thought I really wanted a girl for the longest time. Then I saw this ad the other day (this is such a stupid story but I’m telling it anyway) and am dying for a boy. I think it’s because my FI looks exactly like a mini version of him 🙂
Post # 8
Thanks for sharing. If I’m completely honest I think there’s a part of me that hopes it’s a girl, but it’s good to know that even if I am initially a little disappointed, I’ll probably get past it pretty quickly.
So happy for you and your little man!
Post # 9
@FauxBoho: OMG!!! Cutest little boy ever right?!?
Post # 10
Thank you for the honest story. I actually teared up reading how you described your bond. Beautiful! Congrats and all the best!
Post # 11
This is part of the reason I didn’t want to be team green anymore. A few days before my 20 week scan I talked to DH about possibly wanting to find out because I too, am hoping for a girl. I eventually decided against it and stayed team green. I’m 29 weeks and soooo sooo excited for the moment our baby is born and my DH gets to tell me what it is.
Secretly though, I’ve been convincing myself it’s a boy, just so I don’t get my hopes up although I know in the moment of delivery, I won’t care at all I’ll just want a healthy baby.
Thanks for sharing your story!
Post # 12
@Cwoodward: You are going to have such a great time with your little man! Like you I was dreaming of a princess with my first and was a little disappointed when we found out it was a boy. Like you, I was really able to bond with him as his birth approached and now, I soooo can’t imagine my life without my little man in it! My little guy is about to turn 2 and he is ALL BOY but such a Mama’s boy. When he is hurt or when he needs reassurance, all he wants is his Mama and it is such a special, special thing. I am now pregnant with number 2 and she is a girl so I am getting to do the princess thing now, but I even had a moment of sadness when we found out she was a girl as I so loved every moment with my son and wanted to give him a brother to bond with!
Congrad’s on your pending arrival….Brush up now on trucks, diggers and excavators as you will learn all the different types (who knew the world of trucks was so vast!)
Post # 13
If I choose to have a baby, I know how much I also want a girl. I’m too selfish about it right now. Yes we all want healthy. But I think it’s natural to want one over the other.
Post # 14
That is so sweet! I am not expecting right now, but I fear that I will have massive gender disappointment whenever I do end up pregnant. Especially because I only want ONE child and will get my tubes tied afterwards. I have a very strong urge to have a boy. I am very glad to hear that you’re bonding with your son and how you’re excited for his arrival! I hope that I will recovery quickly too if I end up being initially disappointed. (But I am still crossing my fingers for a boy lol!)
Post # 15
So glad to hear you got over the disappointment 🙂 And Congrats on the little boy! I think having a little bit of a preference is normal. Before getting pregnant, I didn’t care either way, but for some reason right when I got pregnant, I felt that it was a girl, and was having lots of dreams about girls and fantasizing about having a little girl. But when it got close to my anatomy scan, I started having boy dreams and I think it may have been myself trying to avoid disappointment if it was a boy. Turns out my initial feelings were right and it’s a girl, but I definitely would have been happy either way. Just remember you can never really guarantee that a little girl would have liked tutus and princesses anyway 😉 I think it is crazy how much we prepare our unborn children for their gender roles!
Post # 16
Thanks for sharing. I’ll confess here (not IRL) that I really want a boy. We’re still undecided about finding out the gender. If we do, we would do a small gender reveal party with our immediates probably later in the pregnancy or maybe even do it at the shower. I just don’t know if it’s better to learn early and get the disappointment out or later after delivery when I hope I’ll just be happy the baby’s here.