Recurring Dreams of Old Crush?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
17 posts
Newbee

I had recurring dreams about my ex for a while. I’ve dated quite a bit, but the person I dated before my dear man was important to me. I just wasn’t important to him.

I had these really weird dreams where I would have a great connection with my ex, and we were getting married and all that. I would wake up and get this rush of feelings for my ex, roll over and see my dear man in bed beside me and get flooded with guilt.

It got to the point where I was afraid to sleep because I hated thinking about my ex that way. It felt like I was emotionally cheating on my dear man who I love more than anyone else.

I debated writing a letter to my ex to tell him I found the person I intend to marry. (My dear man asked for my Dad’s blessing last weekend and I’m sending him ring ideas) I talked to my mother about it over the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday and she said that it would be rude and that my ex will always have a little bit of my heart, but that’s okay.

I realized that it’s okay that I was attracted to my ex, and with that, I was able to let those feelings go. My dear man is 110% more a man than my ex was, and I wouldn’t ever choose my ex over him, even if the opportunity arose.

I just had to let those last lingering feelings for my ex go.

In your case, perhaps you are drifting from your DH? Have you two been connecting lately? Sometimes we show in our dreams what we are desiring from our current relationships.

Post # 3
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I experienced a period of time with recurring dreams of an ex that was a close friend for many years. We stayed friends for a while after the breakup, but eventually lost touch with moving around and life carrying on.

The dreams were a lot like yours where there was never anything sexual, but just the two of us being places together or even just seeing him from afar. I didn’t know what to think at first, but as it continued, I decided to just reach out and see how things were with him. I felt like maybe I needed to if it was creeping into my subconscious. (Not that you need to reach out, but that was the choice I made at the time)

I talked to his mom since that was the last number I had of his that was still working. She told me that he had been deployed and was in an accident overseas. She said it was pretty serious injuries, but that he would recover. I was relieved to hear that and was glad that I reached out.

My story probably doesn’t help you much because I don’t know if, in your situation, you would want to reach out. I do think sometimes things happen to us to open our eyes. If you were close friends with him, maybe there’s still a friend connection there that is surfacing in your dreams. It doesn’t always have to be about attractions or crushes. Maybe it feels that way because you did once have a crush.

In any case, it is normal to have people from our past creep up in our thoughts whether awake or asleep. Could be that your mind just wanted you to remember a fond time from your past.

Post # 4
Member
4812 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

ellie17:  I had a similar thing happen. We dated in high school, then broke up (he lived 6000 miles away). Then dated again. Then got engaged and I moved to his country, then he dumped me. Yeah, thanks. Anyway, I would have dreams about him every now and again and by no means did I think about him or want to be with him. It was just irritating because you can’t controle dreams, can you?

Then yeeeears later we reconnected on FB, just as friends. We had a couple long talks and one thing he said is he’d been cheating on his wife for SEVEN years! I don’t know if that particular comment was what did it, but I have never dreamt about him since! Lol!

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