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I would ask your fiance how he feels about it. I know a girl who used the diamond from her engagement ring from her first marriage in her new engagement ring. Her fiance was very practical and not at all sentimental and was totally fine with the idea when she brought it up (although in that case, I think it helped that it was a diamond from her family, not one the ex-husband had bought).
On the other hand, a lot of guys might be uncomfortable with their FI/wife wearing the diamond from a previous engagement ring purchased by an ex-fiance, even if it was reset and not worn on the left hand. I know I'd not be ok with my husband (who was married before) wearing his previous wedding band in ANY form. He sold it and bought me a watch with the money.
I really think you need to talk to him and get his input.
EDIT: I just noticed this is your first post. Welcome to the Bee!
Personally, I wouldn't wear it. I also have jewelry from ex-boyfriends that I keep because it would feel weird to give it away or sell it, but I never wear it. I would feel like I was being a little disrespectful to my FI if I wore his ring on one hand, and a ring made with a diamond given to me by an ex on the other. Not saying that's your intention, of course, it's just how it would make me feel. Keep it in your jewelry box and maybe later on down the line, when you've been married awhile and feel less attached to it, you can use it to make into a piece of jewelry as a gift to a family member or something.
I had a right hand ring made from the stones from my ering and wedding ring from my first marriage. I felt empowered by the idea of basically "re-fashioning" my past and making it my own (I was only 20 when we split and faced a lot of judgement, so this was a way for me to do something positive for myself). It was the strangest thing, I HATED wearing it! I'm not superstitious either, but it's amost like I felt twitchy every time I wore it. 15 years later and I think I've worn it maybe 20-30 times, so it was definitely not worth the money having it re-set. As for how your FI might feel, I know my current SO would not like for me to wear it every day...so, we're selling the gold for scrap, and the stones to a gem dealer he knows. To sum up, no matter how casual you feel about it, jewelry is suffused with sentimentality, it's used to mark all the biggest occaisons in our lives, and I feel like it's better to make a clean break and rid yourself of any associations with past relationships.
I'm going through the same thing... I just take it out and look at it once in a while but a year later I still can't wear figure out what to do with my previous engagement ring... ugh =(
I'd probably sell the first ring and use the money to pay for my new ring.
I thought of that, and decided instead to sell all of my jewelry that my ex-fiance got me. I felt weird doing so, but I spent the money on a vacation with friends who helped me get over that arse!
As long as you have talked to FI about it and he is ok with the idea, I say go for it! If you don't use it as a righ hand fashion ring, maybe you could make it into a pendant necklace? That would completely change it.
Hmm, if it were me I would sell it. Put the money towards something else :)
Welcome to the Bee! >.<
I have a small three stone diamond ring from an ex, as well as a sapphire with diamond accents. I never wear them and was thinking of selling them but wouldnt get too much for them (the diamonds are graded high but really small & white gold settings). I wore them when I first started dating my now FI as I did not see them in any sentimental way. No I do not wear them, not b/c they aren't pretty but I just feel weird. I have cousin who is about 7 yrs old now, I'll prolly wait a few years and just give them to her when she gets to an age when she will appreciate them. If FI and I have kids I think I would feel weird passing them down to our daughter.
That being said, my parents who have been happily married for 30 years have rings made out of my dad's previous wedding bands. When they were young and money was tight he had the previous ones melted down and designed something new for him and my mom. My mom loves her ring no less than if it were brand new.
I think it really depends on how sentimental you and FI are. My FI is very practical & money conscious but I think I would wound is pride wearing a ring given by an ex. But then again I don't know for sure b/c I've never asked. Also, do you think the princess cut diamond will outshine your new rings? If so maybe rethink it?
My friend had her 1.5 round cut solitare from a previous marriage that ended in divorce made into a pendant whihc she wears, I don't think many people know its form her old ering.
I think you have a lot of options, just run them by FI =)
i'd probably sell and buy a new one - but my sister has a beautiful 1ct round diamond that my grandmother left to her -she had it in her egagement ring when she got married, when she divorced she had it put into a necklace and i know her boyfriend has been thinking about getting it reset and possibly proposing. so really, it depends, if it doesnt offend your boyfriend then i dont see the harm in resetting it or wearing it on your right hand but i would take into consideration how it makes him feel.
I'd keep the diamond and put it into a new setting! it's not like it's cursed or anything.
money-wise, it's kind of foolish to sell it, you won't get the amount of money that was spent on it, and it might save you a lot by recycling the stone.
I am also the product of a failed engagement. It took me several months, but I eventually traded the engagement ring in and used the trade to purchase a diamond tennis bracelet. The wedding band I also traded in and purchased a set of diamond earrings and 2 right hand rings. The diamonds and gold were not the same, but it still "came" from him I guess. I held onto the promise ring because I loved the cut of the diamond and figured that I would use it one day for something. I offered it to my fiance to trade in to help purchase a new engagement ring, but he wouldn't take it. He knows how I obtained the other jewlery and that doesn't bother him. I ended up selling the promise ring for cash at a diamond/gold swap. I think it depends on how your FI feels about the current ring...if you can use it, use it...I don't think you are weird for not wanting to get rid of it, it's part of your history. I traded mine because I knew that I would never wear an e-ring that my husband didn't give me, and the eternity band is a wedding band, I didn't want to wear that on my right hand.
Have you thought about resetting it as a pendant necklace instead of a ring? I feel like that carries less sentimentality than a ring... just a thought.
I'm more practical than emotional, so it'd be hard for it to have it just sit and not be used or sold for a fraction of the price. If my FI were ok with it, I'd have it reset in a different style to use as an e-ring. Whatever money you can save on your e-ring, helps the both of you. If he weren't ok with that, and didnt like the idea of it being worn in any piece of jewlery, then I guess i'd sell it..
i would do it. i've never been attached to engagement rings. that's why i have two right now and looking at a third one. i switch off depending on my mood.
Thank you very much everyone for your thoughts! I got a few great ideas from you girls. Most important, I see I'm not the only one on this situation, so that gives me the push I need to let my fiance know about it and see what he thinks.
I'm not in a rush, so after five years, the ring can stay for a bit longer on the jewelry box. I have thought about making a pendant of it, but the problem is I don't usually wear necklaces. I'm more into earrings and rings...
Anyway, thank you very much for your answers. I am so glad I got so many on my first post!!
I guess it depends on the couple. Someone I work with used the exact same engagement ring from one of her previous marriages. They didnt re set it or anything! They just got a new band. I would not be ok with this, if this was me and my bf. I was shocked when she told me, but hey whatever floats your boat.
I am in EXACTLY the same boat and have been struggling with what to do. In my case, I was married for almost 20 years.
My 1 ct princess solitaire was given to me by my ex after about 15 years of marriage for my birthday and represented the engagement ring we never could afford. He actually meant for me to wear it as a right hand ring, but I wore it as an engagement ring next to my wedding band.
We divorced many years later - very sad but on decent terms. Both of us are remarried. I have no children or relatives to give the diamond to.
I feel like I want to keep the stone and am thinking about re setting it as a pendant. But I am very conflicted about how I will feel with it around my neck. "Twitchy" is a great description of the feeling I am anticipating.
But on the practial side, I will never be able to sell the ring for what its worth. The exact same ring in the platinum setting it's in now would cost about $7500 new. I am told by jewelers that I would be lucky to get $3500. I think my ex paid $5000. Losing money also makes me feel twitchy.
Oh - as for my new husband. He said it wouldn't bother him if I wore the old diamond. Hmmmmm. If it were me I would mind a LOT. I couldn't wait for him to take off the ring his ex-wife gave him as an anniversary present when they were married. It bugged me.
Argh. So I feel your pain!
@RainStorm: Agreed, I would probably sell it and use the money towards the new ring or the wedding.
I wish I had my previous engagement ring (was a basic .5 carat solataire, oh how he didn't know me). Alas he broke into my house and stole it so he could return it (I'm assuming) after we broke up.
I'm all for being practical & not sentimental about the previous diamond. I didn't read all the responses, but only having to buy a new setting makes the cost of your new ring drop dramatically = more $$ in your pocket as a couple. If your fiance doesn't have a problem with it & you like the diamond, I'd use it! Or get your diamond & plain band combo as your wedding set, and reset the diamond into another piece of jewelry (again, if FI doesn't mind).
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So, this is my very first post and I would like to hear your opinion:
My boyfriend of three years and I got engaged recently. We have started shopping for my engagement ring. I want something very simple, and I may end picking as my engagement ring what some of you may have for a wedding band, a half eternity ring, and then a plain wedding band.
This is the second time I'm engaged. My first fiance broke the engagement, but I still keep the ring: a princess cut solitaire I haven't worn since. With me hitting the jewelry stores and seen all the possibilities out there I have started thinking how nice it would be to make a right hand ring using this diamond as I, obviously, don't want it on my engagement ring neither I want the same style.
What do you think? Is this an awful thing? Should I get rid of it? I'm not a superstitious person and the reason I'm attached to the ring is because it's part of my history, the person I am. On the other hand I guess the whole idea may upset my fiance... Oh well, what would you do?