Red herrings of proposal hints?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Are these proposed opportunities red herrings?
    Yes : (4 votes)
    20 %
    No : (4 votes)
    20 %
    Not sure : (12 votes)
    60 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6964 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @nerdybee:  I’ve been there. We know we want to get married and have even discussed a LOT of wedding details (as well as long-term life goals like where to retire). I went through a few weeks where I thought every date night was going to be it. I knew we both wanted to wait until after my BFF’s wedding…. so I thought it might happen that weekend since it was semi-destination and super romantic. Nope. Then a few weeks later we went to San Diego, which is super special for us, for his reunion and afterwards he wanted to go to our “special place” in the middle of the night…. all dressed up…. nope. That wasn’t it either. We’ve since had another discussion and because we don’t want a long engagement it most likely won’t happen till early next year, which is fine and definitely makes me calmer & able to just enjoy our fun times together without getting all fidgety!!! This “waiting” stage is super awkward sometimes!

    Post # 5
    Member
    703 posts
    Busy bee

    @nerdybee:  oh i’m there right now! go on vacation in less than 2 weeks! i was walking last week, now i’ve added 2 + 2 together and gotten a magical vacation proposal!! why do we do this?!!!

    The valentines thing might be to throw you off the scent! think men like the element of surprise! he might know that you are expecting it on one of the planned vacations so valentines is to throw you off! imo.

    Post # 6
    Member
    422 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Rebar

    @nerdybee:  I have been there…ugh its so frustrating. A year ago i kept thinking he would be proposing. Every opportunity i thought would be a chance for him to propose to me. I honestly got tired of waiting…i just told myself it wont happen any time soon. We have also talked about kids, future goals, wedding details, trips we would want to take, retirement, you name is we have talked about it. Till one day i decided to speak to him about all of this…he had no idea how much anxiety i had and what it meant to really just “wait” he then said that maybe it would be best if he gave me a timeline…which would be the end of 2013. Which allowed for me to just relax and enjoy this whole year. But i wont lie this waiting thing makes me frustrated at times…just bc i feel like i have been waiting a lifetime. I been dating him for 10 years. We started dating very young which of course wasnt the best idea since by the age of 19 i wanted to marry him but it was impossible…so now i am 25 and ready to do it. At this point ive had the change to get everything together including my finances and career on track…

    Post # 7
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015 - Alexander Homestead

    I can relate with you NerdyBee as well as you other waiting bees 100%! I was going along with life just fine until SO started serious talk Dec 2012.  It began when he asked me for my ring size, metal preference and stone preference. We had talked about long term wishes and goals all the time but it was always just like far off dreams before – never anything so concrete and detailed. I even surprised myself at how EXCITED I became at the thought of us journeying into this mext phase in life. We’ve made so much progress in planning now but i will agree, sometimes I wish he had kept it all to himself until he was only weeks away from popping the question. Waiting can be such torture some times!!! 🙁 Ive been given a deadline of no later than June 2014 for him to propose so I tell myself to expect it to take that long and maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised even sooner. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I know what you mean about not wanting to wait for a proposal.  UGH!

    I was like this last xmas.  SO and I had a timeline and he started making this BIG deal about us spening xmas together and even said he’d pay for my plane ticket to go to his home up north.  Then some of my friends were all ‘why is he making a big deal’ and ‘do you think a proposal is coming?’.  AND this was when I was still lurking on wedding bee in the waiting section…and I was all worked up.

    We went to NYC for Xmas, no proposal.  NYE back home, no proposal.  V-day, no proposal, my 30th bday, which I put my foot down and said I wanted to be engaged by, no proposal.  3 year anniversary, no proposal…I could go on and on hahahahahaha!  We are planning details of our wedding…NO EFFIN’ PROPOSAL!! Yell

    It finally clicked a few months ago…I was able to let it go and I didn’t care.  I just focused on opening the savings account for our wedding (seperate from my emergency savings), as it sounds like the two of you are, but I started pinning wedding ideas, and decided to live life trusting that it will happen one day. 

    I don’t know if there are any hints are not in your post here…sounds like maybe vday?  But maybe it’s best to just be sure that you are enjoying your relationship as well.  Hang in there!

    Post # 10
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I did the same thing. We went on vacation 2 weeks before he proposed. At every turn I was like “maybe?” and “why is his hand in his pocket?”

    It happened, and I had an inkling it was going to. I wish it was a total surprise, but it wasn’t, and I am still happy.

    Good luck and try not to plan it out in your mind too much.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @nerdybee:  Meditating REALLY helped me a lot. 

    Just even sitting in our den, in the dark, keeping it quiet and focusing on nothing..even for 5 mins helped me out so much.  I totally would say go for that and see if it helps!

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