Weddingbee boards

Has anyone else noticed that there are major differences in opinions on all things weddings as you talk to brides and their families in different areas of the country?  I've noticed a couple really stark differences in MidWest vs. East Coast. 

First:  Age of getting married.  My midwest friends all got married between the ages of 19 and 25.  None of my east coast friends are even thinking about getting married, and they are all pushing thirty and beyond.  My eastcoast friends are always shocked when I tell them that all my friends of the same age are married when I go home.

Second:  Cash/Open bar.  I've been to plenty of weddings around the Midwest growing up and what not around here, and I'd never ever been to a wedding with an open bar ever until I started working some summers in New Jersey.  It isn't even considered around here.  I think people are going to be shocked when they show up to our wedding which will have an open bar.  My east coast friends think it's completely tacky not to have an open bar.

What other regional differences have you noticed? 

Regional differences I have noticed involve the reception traditions. Certain parts of Ohio always include square dancing as part of their receptions.. in my part of Ohio, I've never witnessed that. Also, many brides and grooms here do the "Dollar Dance", which my fiance and I despise and are not including, but this is honestly going to shock many of our guests. I recently found out that the dollar dance is a regional thing. It is when guests pay a dollar (or more) for a chance to dance with the bride or the groom, dance for about 30 seconds, and the next purchaser cuts in. I always thought it was weird to ask guests to pay to dance with you, especially after they've more than likely given you a nice wedding gift, paid for transportation there, and many are paying for a hotel.

I totally agree...we aren't doing the dollar dance, the bouquet toss, the garter toss, the receiving line, the wedding cake, or favors....this will shock the entire midwest!  ha ha

Very good point about the different view points, Miss Marshmallow.  I'd hate to label parts of the country as shallow though.  I just think it's interesting to watch certain patterns develop and become so strong in some places while they are unheard of or not liked in others.

I had never considered NOT having a head table.  I love that idea.  Hmm...I'll have to give that one more thought.  Where would the bride and groom sit?  At a table with both sets of parents?  Hm.....interesting! 

lol That's fantastic, minneapolitan!  Polka-away.  Maybe it's just my little pocket of Iowa that gets married so young...I am currently 27...going to be married next year, and I am the "old maid" of my graduating class.  Oh well. 

I lived in the South for years & it was much more the norm (in my circle of friends anyways) to have the groom's dad be the best man. That was also the first time I had ever seen a buffet dinner at a reception, my mom almost lost it for a minute LOL as we are strictly sit-down dinner people in my culture.
We also are more into open bar, or at least limited open bar, but I have been to weddings in various parts of the country (East coast, Midwest & the South) which have had cash bars.
I think whatever is tradition for your friends & family, no matter where you live, is cool. I hate the "T" word...who am I to judge what anyone else does at their wedding.

I think it's very easy for people to slip into the bashing mode as we all have our likes and dislikes, so as long as you get what you want as the bride and groom and family, I'm all for it.  Keep it coming, ladies! 

What is the bridesmaid luncheon?  That is a new one to me.  Sounds nice...whatever it is.  :)

I'm from the South where it is the norm to have a seperate groom's cake (think Armadilo cake from Steel Magnolias for one example), the groom's father as best man, buffet style dinner, bridesmaid luncheons, bridal teas (instead of showers), and getting married before your mid-20's.  In the rural area I grew up in it is also the norm to have the cake & punch church fellowship hall reception.  It is also somewhat normal to have kids be both flower girls/ring bearers AND a miniture bride & groom.

My FI and I aren't following the majority of these "norms" so I worry a bit about how my rural family will react.

Although I've lived in Southern California my entire life, I have only been to one wedding here (none of my early-mid twenties friends are even considering getting married) and I think, like the east coast, it is more common for people to get married when they are older. Or should I say it's less common for people to get married younger?

Like Sakoro mentioned earlier, it is pretty uncommon from what I can tell for people to hold weddings/receptions in historic houses. I have a friend getting married in the south in a historic house, and I thought it was SO odd to have the wedding just at some house! We really don't have many historic houses though- people are more likely to get married in a historic church or hotel here, it seems.

I had not even heard of a groom's cake until I came on here. Also, ggsb, what are you talking about with a mini bride and groom?? Never heard of that one!!

Oh, in that case, we are doing a bridesmaid luncheon.  My bridesmaids, my mom, and my FMIL and I are doing a little day trip to Chicago to  hang out, get mani/pedis, get lunch, and shop.  Now it has a name!  Lovely!

Miss Burgundy - the miniture bride & groom are two small children you include in your bridal party that literally dress up as a miniture bride & groom.  The little boy wears a tux and the little girl wears a poofy white dress and veil.  If I can find a photo where I could blur their faces I'll upload it later.  They come down the aisle right before the bride.

And yes brides luncheon isn't typically hosted by the bride or her mother.  Typically it is a female family friend.  I've historically participated in the "ribbon pull" at bridal showers.  The big difference for my non-southern friends is the bridal tea instead of a shower.  Think tea sandwiches, pettifors, tea, and punch while dressed in your sunday best.  The bride doesn't open the gifts, the hostesses take care of that and display the gifts on well-dressed tables around the venue for all attendees to peruse.  It's more of a come & go type thing that lasts a couple of hours.  I've never been to a wedding in my hometown area that had anything other than punch (of the non-spiked variety).

Taye - you are right about it not being far at all.  I'm from that area as well.  :)

I want to bring the bridesmaid luncheon and the bridal tea to the Midwest.  That sounds great!  I love it!

Most weddings that I've been to in Central PA, the reception is almost always at a fire hall (a banquet room rented from the fire department) or a legion. My girlfriend from Hawaii was shocked when I told her this. She is used to receptions being held at nice hotels. That's not to say that we don't have receptions at hotels and such, but it's pretty norm. to have it at a fire hall.