Post # 1
Ok so I am normally not a “this is etiquette so I have to do it” person, my family doesn’t go by the book they go by what is polite by today’s standards keeping the person in mind. My whole family knows that Fiance and I are paying for the wedding, and will be giving us $$ whether we like it or not! They are great like that- always looking out for each other. But truly we don’t NEED anything (own a house and moved in around Christmas 07 so people were very generous) and would feel materialistic and wasteful to ask for things we have no room for (less than 900sq feet house!) or already have (silverware, appliances, towels, etc). Most people are fine with our sparse registry, others, kind of rude!!! How would you suggest combating those kind of comments in a polite way? (And please don’t bash me for our decision)
Post # 3
Maybe you can set up a honeyfund for people who feel that giving you cash isn’t right. We’re going the same route (paying for it ourselves so people are giving us cash) but also set up a registry at BB&B cuz we don’t have our own house yet so we still need stuff. The honeyfund will allow them to still get you a "gift", but you can use the money for whatever you want!
Sorry, I know I didnt really answer your question…
Post # 4
I think when people make comments about your sparse registry (we get it a lot, although it sounds like we had more than you did) it’s because they want to get you a gift (not just money) and they want to make sure you like it.
Since you’re still a fair bit away from the wedding and already getting these comments, have you considered doing a honeyfund or something like that where people feel like they’re contributing to a particular activity or something for the house?
Post # 5
A friend of mine is getting married for the second time (she’s widowed), but her mom and sister wanted to honor her with a shower. They put in the invitation that it was a "kitchen gadget shower" and said something like, "K & N are very blessed to have everything they need for their house. Please bring something small, like a kitchen gadget used making your favorite recipe for them to use."
So you could say something to the rude, naysayers like, "I know it’s not traditional, but we’re very blessed to have everything we need." And leave it at that!
Post # 6
Alternative gift registries are also an option. If you are outdoorsy people you could set up a registry at REI for camping equipment or Amazon to expand your DVD or book collections.
Alternativegiftregistry.org is another option, although I have not had first hand experience. Here you can register for anything you want… recipes from you friends and family, deserts for the reception, wine to build your collection, cleaning tips and advise, marriage and life advise, etc. The sky is really the limit! And if there is something you want on a specific site then you just link to the item from the registry.
Here’s the link to the sample registry: http://www.alternativegiftregistry.org/view_registry_public.php?registry_uid=22
I totally understand your frustration with the registry! We went through the same thing. But as a guest now, I really have a want to get the couple something tangible as a way to show my support and contribute to the success of their household. Even if it is by just getting them my favorite style of flower vase that can magically make anyone into a floral designer. 🙂
Good luck! Bonnie
Post # 7
I would definitely set up a honeymoond registry, or a registry for local attractions and restaurants in the area. People can buy you a date night for your wedding!
We loved using http://www.wishpot.com and registered for things like our favorite HBO series, a Wii, tickets to Disneyland, etc.
There are other ways to give your guests gift options!
Post # 8
Is there anything you’d like to upgrade? Dishes, silverware, pots & pans? Our registry assistant dude said that since we don’t need much we might as well upgrade if we can. We didn’t want to do a registry either, but were pressured by Future Mother-In-Law so we did one and registered for mostly "upgrades" and "would be nice to have’s". Just a suggestion. 🙂
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery
I’ve had a couple friends who got married after moving in together and didn’t need much in they way of things on a registry. When ppl made comments they said, "Thank you for offering to get us a gift but we already have a house full stuff. We really just want everyone to have a good time and celebrate with us at our wedding." Most of those ppl ended up giving them money or a gift card to Target/Macys etc.
Post # 10
I agree with setting up and registering for stuff for your honeymoon.
Post # 11
We are in a similar situation – becoming home owners next week! But we’ve lived together for 4 years already. My mom is spreading the word that we are registered at the U.S. Department of Treasury. We’re putting any cash gifts we receive toward the principal balance of our home loan.
Post # 12
Thanks guys! I love the phrasing, especially the "Thank you for offering to get us a gift but we already have a house full stuff. We really just want everyone to have a good time and celebrate with us at our wedding." and the "I know it’s not traditional, but we’re very blessed to have everything we need." I also figure if someone pulls a guess-gift it’s from the heart, not just off a list.
AND I totally forgot to mention we have a honeymoon registry set up as well. No one has made any gifts towards it yet but hopefully they will. You guys are a huge help even if it’s just reassurance that I’m not a weirdo!
Post # 13
You are not weird! Heck, I think you are more the norm.
Maybe you should register with financial wedding registry. My fiance really didn’t want more stuff since he already has a house. Fortuntately, a good friend of mine recommended this wedding registry: http://weddingfutures.com/
I was able to set up a registry for various financial products, including cash, mutual funds, stocks, etc. So, your guests can still get you gifts, but it won’t take up more room in your home.
Hope it works out for you.
Post # 14
We just bought a house, and have both lived on our own for a while, but we are setting up a registry to upgrade to really great bakeware, pots and pans, bedding etc …
FH is also going to register for some tools (blech, but it makes him happy so be it!)
Post # 15
I’m the same way (Have the house, two of everything, too much stuff). We registered for our honeymoon and would like stuff from that (trips, dinners, etc) or cash instead. When a co-worker started planning my work shower (I probably won’t have any others) she started critisizing the fact that I didn’t have a traditional registry. What do I need with more towels/sheets? I went ahead and threw like 20 things on a regestry, kind of wasteful though.
Post # 16
My registry is pretty cool. You can register for whatever you want. Anything! Vacation, flat-screen TV, help for paying down your house. People just choose what they want to add money to and they can either pay a portion or all of it.