(Closed) Registering Before Engagement Party?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Everyone told me to register before my engagement party and we got a ton of stuff and a ton of money. It may be a cultural thing and I don’t know what your background is but old-school Italians don’t come to parties like that without a gift or check in hand. It’s considered bad form.

We did word of mouth.

Post # 4
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I didn’t have an engagement party, but my wedding registry is on our wedding website and I’ve told family members where we’re registered out so that they can spread the word.

Post # 5
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We did NOT register before our engagement party because everything I’ve read said guests are NOT required or expected to bring gifts.  We even put on our invitation which stated on the front: ‘We’re Engaged!”, and inside: ‘Your Presence is Your Present.’

Now did everyone abide by this?  No, we did receive cards, gift cards and several gifts all of which were rushed immediately into the living room as to not make other guests who did not bring a gift feel uncomfortable.  And it worked out just fine.

Post # 6
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We didn’t have any kind of engagement party because of this reason. Theres not really any good way to ask for “no gifts.” Even when you say no gifts please; people will still bring them. I think if your just trying to have a fun get together with no gifts and just BBQ or Pizza; I would just call people to invite them. Typically anything I actually receive a a paper invitation for; I usually assume gifts are expected. I think most others will think that too by actually receiving an invite in the mail.

Post # 7
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My parents threw an engagement party for us. We had a wedding website and had registered beforehand so the registry info was on our wedding website. Some people sent us gifts, others gave us cards but most guests didn’t give anything. Whereas guests really should bring gifts to a shower (it is the point!) and should bring gifts to the wedding (it is really rude not to), it is not required to bring gifts to an engagement party. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t register or shouldn’t make that information available to your guests. I look for it when my friends get engaged, so I appreciate it when there is a registry. I say put your info on your site, include the site because it has info about your wedding. Guests who want to bring you gifts will, and those who can’t or are already spending money to travel to your party (as many of our guests were) won’t and both are more than fine.

Congrats on being engaged! Enjoy your party!

Post # 8
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I’ve only been to a couple engagement parties and wouldn’t expect to see a registry on the website.  (Actually, I think it would seem weird to see a website right after the engagement.)  I know that older people who look at those sites in a different way than you or I might… maybe consider that asking for a gift  to see a registry or a website link to a registry on a engagement note…  Save the date cards are different… because the guests view that you have had time to think about dates, showers, and other pre wedding festivities.  I’m not from a region that has a lot of engagement parties, so if it’s something that’s common in your area… then it makes total sense!

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