Post # 1
Here’s the story: FH and I have been living together for a while and don’t need/want the “typical” registry items. We don’t see the need in $200 per place setting China, $150 a piece wine goblets or “have to hand wash” fancy flatware. We consider ourselves to be “modern” and know that we’d never use those items (neither of our parents ever did).
We would love to go to Italy and Greece for a 12-14 day honeymoon, is it rude to ask guests to contribute to a honeymoon fund? Also, which one is the “best”? So far, I’m leaving toward honeyfund.com
Post # 3
There are a lot of mixed opinions and a lot of threads that discuss this issue. Some people don’t see a problem with it and others do.
Personally, I don’t like HM registries. It’s a fancy way of asking for cash, which is always rude (at least in the US). Plus, you don’t actually get what the guest buys you, you just get the cash. So Aunt Bertha might be thinking she’s buying you a nice dinner or ticket to swim with dolphins, in reality you are just getting one big check (usually minus some fee) that you are free to do whatever you want with it. I find it deceiving and pointless. =/
Plus, wedding gifts are traditionally supposed to be for helping the couple set up their new home. People don’t mind buying you new pots and pans because those are pracital things that every home needs. But vacations are not necessary and people might be put off by a direct request to help fund one.
If you have everything you need, I feel the best way to “request” cash is to tell people – when asked – that you are registered at X but are saving up for a honeymoon.
Post # 4
A LOT of people around here don’t like them, but personally I see no issue with them.
For people that already live together, are older, or for whatever reason already have their home set up there really isn’t much need for traditional registry items. Most weddings I’ve been to people just give cash anyways. The registry is mostly used for the showers. In all I figure if someone doesn’t like the honeymoon fund they are welcome to give you any gift the feel like or none at all, just like they can do if they don’t care to use a traditional registry or don’t like any of the items on it.
Post # 5
we did one and it was totally acceptable in our circle. We registered through a travel agent and they did not take any fees. All the money went right to us, and it went towards a credit to wherever we wanted to go, or excursions, or private dinners etc.
i think it’s a great idea, obviously and so did our guests.
Post # 6
We are doing a honeymoon registry through wanderable.com. I’ve read the comments about how it is deceiving since you are really only getting cash, but I also read a great way to handle this. While we are on our honeymoon, we will take a picture of us doing each thing that was “bought” for us, and send it along with the thank you card. “Aunt Betty, thank you so much for your gift of dinner at Jon’s Steakhouse. The food was delicious and the restaurant was beautiful!” enclosed: picture of us at the table with our food.
Post # 7
This is what we intend to do. I know a lot of bees don’t like it, but we’re having less tha 30 people at our wedding, we (obviously) know them all very, very well and we know there’re supportive if it. some have actually suggested it.
Post # 8
On our website we put a link to 1 tradiitonal registry and 1 untraditional registry. The traditional had about 10 items from Amazon.com.
For the untraditional we used depositagift.com and in the home page explained that we prefered experiences as uposed to material gifts. We shared what we were doing and where we were going (not for honeymoon, but a trip for next summer). I also created my own unconventional gifts such as “rescue a dog from a shelter when the time is right” $60. “Tickets to a DH’s fave basketball team’s home game $50” etc.
Guess what, ALL our guests opted for the untraditional. They felt the gifts were more meaningful because each had a cute explanation underneath.
Nobody got us anything from Amazon. Lesson to be learned: it’s all about how you present it.
Oh and although I didn’t tell anyone, I also plan to take pictures of us doing/experiencing each gift and sending them a card in the mail.
Post # 9
We used Honeyfund and our guests LOVED it…all ages! We had a small registry from Bed Bath and Beyond too for those that wanted to buy us something. Honeyfund is great and you only are charged a fee if you use Paypal (and it is Paypal’s fee).
Loved it! We will follow up and send emails to those that gave so that they can see what we did in Hawaii. Those I talked to like that their money wasn’t “locked in” either, as this gave us some flexibility.