Post # 1
My showers were quite a while ago, but recently something interesting was brought to my attention- I wanted to get your ladies take on this and what proper etiquette is:
My husband and I registered at a few different stores, one being Williams Sonoma. I love their products- they are quality, but pricey. We registered for our pots, pans and basic cookware. I have to say, the pots and pans were expensive (40-150 dollars a pop), but they are something we figured we would have for a life time and my husband and I both enjoy cooking frequently (and if we didn’t recieve them as gifts we could use the 10 percent off coupon after the wedding to purchase them ourselves!).
Recently I heard through the grapevine that my husband’s family was upset and thought I should be ashamed for registering for pots and pans that were so expensive.
I’m feeling guilty. I didn’t even consider what people would think of what I registered for- and though we planned on purchasing 95 percent of the cookware- I do feel a little ashamed. We registered for a variety of things in all price ranges.
Did you think about what you were registering for and how people would feel? Or did you just register for the things you liked? Thanks
Post # 3
They’re definitely wrong to say that! We registered for a WIDE range of prices, and we’re planning to do the same as you on anything we don’t get that we really want. It’s very normal to do that, because almost everywhere gives you a discount off things you registered for but didn’t get. Also, our birthdays are a few months after the wedding, and our registries will still be active for a while, so we’re hoping to get a few more things for our birthdays.
Shame on them for having that attitude! You’re totally right to say you’ll have them for a good long time, and actually $40-$150 is a reasonable price for a wedding gift for most people. If someone thought one pot or pan wasn’t enough, surely you registered for some small items they could add on, or they can just get something small they think you’d like.
Do NOT feel bad. I will come kick them for you if you need?
Post # 4
i agree with liz. $40-$150 is not very much to spend on a wedding gift at all and it’s not like the pots and pans were the only option for them. if they didn’t like the price of the pots and pans they should have just moved on to something else on the registry and not given it a second thought. you should most definitely not feel guilty.
Post # 5
I agree with the other posts: I don’t feel that the price was outrageous. There was no need for them to discuss/give their opinions on your choices; it’s your decision not theirs. If they didn’t want to spend that much, they could have chosen something else or a group could have gone together to purchase it. I think people’s views of what is too much or appropriate varies depending on your location. For instance, in my rural hometown, $50-$100 is considered a pretty generous amount to spend on a gift, but in more metropolitan areas it may not be considered as generous. That being said, you should NOT be feeling guilty in the slightest! I hope you get your cookware!
Post # 6
I concur–you should not feel bad! There is no need to register for a bunch of small gifts that you could easily buy on your own or that you don’t really want. If some of your guests can’t afford to buy you a $150 item from WS, but they want to get you a gift, they can always give you a gift card! In fact, when I buy gifts for marrying couples, I am happy to give a gift card in my price range if I am unable to find a "good" gift for the same price. We plan to register for furniture at high-end retailers, but we have NO expectation of actually receiving these gifts–we just want to be eligible for the end discount of 10& on these items and for people to know that if they choose to give a gift card, it will go to buying a significant gift.
Post # 7
I registered for some expensive things from there as well! I am just making sure to keep checking each registry to ensure that there are plenty of inexpensive items (even under $20) left.
Post # 8
I agree with everyone, you shouldn’t feel bad at all. I registered at 3 stores and some of the stuff is very expensive but I was careful to include stuff in all different price ranges. I know there are certain things on my registry that noone will purchase because its overpriced, but I love it and will get a discount on it later because its on my registry list. I know quite a few people who registered at uber-high end stores and I didn’t want to spend $125 for a single fork, so I got the couple a gift card for the store where they were registered. The bottom line is that you can register for whatever you want, noone is obligated to buy it.
Post # 9
I felt guilty the first time I was registering in a high end glassblower’s shop my FI and my parents were visiting. Until, my mom and the woman helping us told me to stop. If people don’t want to buy it they don’t have to buy it. They told me this was the only time in your life you have a chance to do this and that they both regret not registering when they got married. It is wrong for them to a) judge you based on your registry and b) try to make you feel bad. As long as one puts out several options there is nothing wrong with registering for high price items.
FYI for all re: putting items you plan to buy with discout: a friend who was just married put on a pottery barn bed for her sister in law after the wedding two days before she went in and bought it for her SIL. No one noticed or cared and they got 20 percent off. So, if you are worried about the judgers you can tack things on after the wedding too
Post # 10
Fi’s mom will probably mention something about the cost of our Williams-Sonoma pots and pans as well. But I tend to be in the "So don’t buy us a Williams-Sonoma pot, then!!" crowd. We registered for plenty of items, and plenty of cheap things. If someone wants to spend $100, then let them!
People will always make snarky comments (or think them at least!) Don’t sweat it, and stay registered for the things you want and love!
Post # 11
I think the only way you *might* feel bad is if you ONLY registered for gifts $125+. I remember a wedding of a 2nd cousin a few years back- I was still in college, paying my way through. NOTHING on her registry was less than $125. I remember going in with my sister on a gift, but I thought that was a bit inconsiderate.
Post # 12
You shouldn’t feel bad at all! The average gift for a wedding is $50-$200. Also, some folks pitch in with others for more pricey gifts. It sounds like your hubby’s family needs to learn a thing or two on gift etiquette, not you.
I have to admit though, I’m questioning the $300 roasting pan on my registry now.
Post # 13
I’m of the mindset that as long as you registered for things in all different price ranges, there is NO NEED to feel guilty for having some more expensive items on your registry. I think of registries as a list of SUGGESTIONS. They’re just a guide for people looking to give a gift. If someone wants to get you something, but doesn’t have $200 for a Williams Sonoma pot, there are certainly other suggestions available.
My FH and I are registering for some things that we know we’re not likely to get just so that we can use the registry completion discounts to get them later! 🙂