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Venue help!

Registries: Extravagant Wishlist or Utilitarian Guide?

posted 1 year ago in Gifts and Registries
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: Which best decribes your (registr(ies)?
    Extravagance all the way! I'm only doing this once, so I made my DREAM registry! : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Most of my registry is straight fantasy... but I may have put a spatula or two on there. ;) : (0 votes)
    50/50 I upgraded about half my registry from practical to luxury (600 thread count sheets, baby!) : (32 votes)
    62 %
    The majority of my registry is items I need, but I couldn't resist that gorgeous Vera Wang vase! : (14 votes)
    27 %
    I am all about minimalsim and utilitarianism; hell, I only registered for two bath towels! : (3 votes)
    6 %
    I have a honeymoon registry (or alternate registry). : (0 votes)
    I don't have a registry, jerk! (But I hate being excluded, and I wanted to vote...) : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Honey! : (0 votes)
  •  
    1.
    Hostess
    5,534 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Mrs. Spring    May 10, 2009   California

    I was looking through some wedding registries last night, and it occurred to me that there seem to be two type of wedding registries:

    Extravagant Wishlist - These registries include everything the couple could possible want (but wouldn't necessarily buy for themselves), $400 sterling silver photo frames, multiple crystal vases, gorgeous $300/place setting china, top of the line All-Clad pots and pans sets, etc...  It's more like a fantasy list of what would be the couple's dream wedding gifts.

    Utilitarian Guide - These registries are all about usefulness and getting the bare household necessities, kitchen towels, spatulas, hampers, wastebaskets, everyday dishes, etc...  It's all practicality and minimalism for these registries.

    So, bees, when setting up your registries, were you thinking Extravagant Wishlist or Utilitarian Guide?  Or maybe you were somewhere in the middle?

     
    2.
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    3,855 posts
    Honey bee
    kala_way    May 28, 2011   Manhattan Beach, CA

    I'm really cheap.

    Even when it comes to other people buying me things. It kind of bothers me to think of someone spending hundreds of dollars on a gift for us.

    All my registry stuff is pretty dang cheap. I mean I had to really think about putting the large kitchen mixer that costs $189 on the list. And that's the most expensive item.

    I'm still trying to think of stuff to put on the list since there are only have like 30 atm. Maybe I'll get FI to put tools and camping stuff on it or something. Any tips from other cheap brides?

     
    3.
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    4,151 posts
    Honey bee
    Meowkers    August 27, 2011   Los Angeles, CA

    Well we've been living together for a while so we have most practical and basic things, (spatulas, towels, etc).  So most of our registry is large items we've never bought, (kitchen aid mixer, espresso maker, china, crystal, etc), and upgrades to what we have already, (800 threadcount sheets, super fancy towels, etc).  We do have just a few small practical items to give people a variety of price points.

     
    4.
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    5,512 posts
    Bee Keeper
    oracle    October 23, 2010   Los Angeles

    I considered myself utilitarian - but, according to your description - I guess we fall in the middle.  That included some pricey, big-ticket items (ie: the All-Clad pots/pans, a Dyson, and Shun knives.  Those are things that we would buy for ourselves and things we really wanted.  We didn't register for things we didn't 'really' want just because we could (ie: China or crystal).

    They key for us was to make sure we had things in all sorts of price ranges - from smaller items ($20 and under) to mid-range to big ticket.

    We didn't have things like sheets, towels, a lot of kitchen gadgets - because both of us had lived on our own before and had a lot of those staple things.

     
    5.
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    618 posts
    Busy bee
    Miss Pinup    July 13, 2011   Australia

    IMO extravagant registeries are tacky. I would never expect someone to by us 'luxury' or extravagant items for our wedding present. I doubt we will even ask for a gift from our guests- we want them at our wedding to celebrate not to shower us with gifts. Their presence is enough for us.

     
    6.
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    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    ninefivethree    June 18, 2011  

    I have a mixture.  The reason I have some expensive items in ours is that we have been telling families and really close friends that we wouldn't mind if they would like to get a joint gift of something that we really need instead of individually getting cheaper things that we don't need as badly.

     
    7.
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    792 posts
    Busy bee
    Oribel013690    July 30, 2011   Tennessee

    I think we've got a pretty balanced spread of gifts.  We made a list of everything we need, everything that really should be updated, and things we'd just like to have. Then we registered for everything on the list.

    Most of the things are very practical and aren't too expensive.  We tried to put an even number of items in the $15 and under range, the $15-30 range, and the $30-50 range, and of course added a few in the $50+ range for people who want to buy us something really nice.  I think our one big splurge was a $400 vaccuum cleaner, but that's really it.  I'd say we don't have more than 20-30 items over $50, and no more than 10-15 over about $100-$150 (but it's really hard to find nice pots and pans, knives, and flatware sets that are under $150).

    Most people coming to our wedding will appreciate the $50 and under items, but we know a few people with deeper pockets who will want to get us something really nice, so we've given a few options for them :)

     
    8.
    1,271 posts
    Bumble bee
    Bostonsmom    October 9, 2011   canada

    My FI's family can be very extravagant at christmas time and birthdays, while my family is a bit more frugal so our registry is going to fall somewhere in the middle. Although I am happy to be spending this special day with my close family and friends, I'd be lying if I said their presence was enough ;) We're spending $100 per plate, thats not including appetizers, plus having an open bar. So yes, I'm going to register for some kickp-ass gifts to compensate for what we are spending on the meal. I think it's only fair!

     
    9.
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    519 posts
    Busy bee
    blg529    August 6, 2011   Los Angeles

    We live together and have both had a lot of the traditional wedding registry stuff individually anyway (pots, dishes, etc) so we didn't really feel the need to register for utilitarian things like towels, etc. We're registering at Crate & Barrel, William Sonoma, and Bloomingdale's. Everything is either an upgrade of something we already have that really needs to be replaced (old pots and pans) or things luxury items we wouldn't buy for ourselves like china, nice bar/stemware etc. We don't really like the idea of accumulating a lot of stuff, so we'd rather guests who are on a tighter budget pool together to get one nice gift, than each get us a spatula.  

     
    10.
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    124 posts
    Blushing bee
    futuremjm    June 25, 2011  

    Ours is a mix.  I have some basics on there...rice cooker, various spatulas, cookie sheets, etc.  Then I have expensive knives ($300 set), fine china, a Kitchenaid mixer and some furniture!  I wanted to give people a good mix to select from.

    I will say that I had a very difficult time deciding whether or not to register for expensive pillows/sheets/towels.  In the end I decided against it.  I felt too guilty putting $60 pillows on the registry when I see the same pillows for $20 at TJ Maxx!

    Everything I ended up putting on our registry is something that we will actually use.  I didn't register for expensive pictures frames, extravagant vases, or fine crystal because we don't care about that stuff. Nice kitchen appliances, nice knives, a nice vacuum...bring it :)

     

     

     
    11.
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    3,066 posts
    Sugar bee
    kperry3    January 1, 1991  

    I haven't done it yet, but I imagine it will be half and half. I don't want a waffle maker (although my parents had one and it was so great) OR a tortilla maker or whatever. I want practical things that I'll use, because I'll just have to buy them anyway if I don't get them as gifts. But I also want to splurge on something that someone may want to buy me. We'll see! :)

     
    12.
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    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    Ours was 50/50 but we didn't register for anything that we wouldn't be willing to buy for ourselves or that we didn't actually want.

    For instance - we have no need for china or crystal so we didn't register for any even though its a very common wedding registry thing.  But we registered for really nice towels, higher threadcount sheets, a nicer, heavier duvet, higher end small appliances, etc.  Along with that, we had plastic spatulas, spoons, etc, small kitchen gadgets, board games, etc.  So we covered the spectrum.

    DH and I both have the mentality that you're better off spending a little more up front to get something higher quality that will last you for longer so these items that we registered for were what we would choose to buy ourselves if we were doing the shopping.

     
    13.
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    4,376 posts
    Honey bee
    LGenz    May 21, 2011   New Jersey, Wedding in Clearwater, FL

    I don't consider registering for top of the line knives or pots an extravagance. Those are everyday items that are useful and the price difference is actually an indication of quality. Now a $400 vase is an extravagance. Our registry is pretty much 50/50.

     
    14.
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    Bumble bee
    AprilJo2011    April 9, 2011  

    We have the fine china and the expensive pots and pans as our luxurious items.  Also some gadgets that would be fun to have but are not what I would absolutely need to get by.  But most things are everyday items that are nice but also reasonably priced.

     
    15.
    Hostess
    3,884 posts
    Honey bee
    caszos    June 2010   Florida

    We got some really nice things like our mix master and a good vacuum cleaner.  However, those things while expensive and extravagent, they were things that I really wanted and would have went out to buy it myself. 

    If I wouldn't spend $400 on a picture frame then why should I ask someone else to do that?  Some people may just have more extravegant tastes but as long as its in line with what they would buy or spend then I think its ok.

     
    16.
    Member
    3,763 posts
    Honey bee
    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    I don't have a registry. Between the two of us, we have enough pots, silverware, glasses, dishes, towels, sheets, etc. to furnish quite a few homes. We don't really want or need any gifts. 

     
    17.
    Member
    216 posts
    Helper bee
    jimbert321    September 10, 2011   Southwestern Ontario

    I'm in the same mind frame as @Mrs.KMM:, we did register for upgrades on sheets and towels (it's almost sad how much I'm looking forward to a matching towel set!) but it's all in a price I'd be willing to spend. I've been lucky and have a lot of the traditional things like a really nice pot and pan set and good china (inherited from my grandparents) that there's not that much we really need.

     
    18.
    Member
    2,755 posts
    Sugar bee
    PinkMagnolia    November 2011  

    I believe you shouldn’t register for something that you couldn’t afford or wouldn’t buy on your own.

    My registry hasn’t yet been made public, but I hope I don’t hear grumbling about expensive items. I’ve lived on my own in a house for 7 years and have all the necessities.  I often throw big dinner parties, love baking and spend hours every night cooking. I’ve held off buying fine china because it’s something I always wanted to receive as wedding gifts. I wanted “wedding china.” I threw a couple of smaller items on my registry, but I really want that china! If a guest can only afford to get me $50 for my wedding, there are individual pieces of china they can buy. My most expensive item is the professional kitchenaid mixer. I currently have the littlest kitchenaid and it’s not working for me (I need to be able to make bigger batches with more power).

     
    19.
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    Buzzing bee
    finnaroo    August 7, 2010   DC (living in nyc now)

    we had a mix. there were def things on there that we wouldn't have bought ourselves, but we will use them. like, fancy serving pieces and candlesticks and such--we love having dinner parties, like we've hosted Passover seder for our friends for the past 4 years, and we will use them for ages. and then things like all-clad pans or le creuset--those are more expensive than we would have bought, but we use them every day (my hubby cooks a LOT!). and then we had a bunch of utilitarian things, like good mixing bowls or glass storing containers. there was def a huge range of prices, from like a $2 dish cloth to a $400 le creuset dutch oven

     

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