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Registry

posted 2 years ago in New York City
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    1.
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    Blushing bee
    MehBee    May 15, 2010  

    My fiance and I have been together for 10 years, we've lived together for most of it.  Thus, we really don't want any kitchenware/bedding/bathware for our wedding gifts.

    We prefer to get cash towards a car purchase or a honeymoon... however, all the cash registries I've seen online have pretty ridiculous fees.

    The "chinese way" is red envelopes of cash...  and I feel like 50% of our guests will get it if we just are silent and don't have a registry....  but I'm sure the others will ask "do you have a registry" so I'm wondering what we should do... as it would be awkward to say "we're doing it the chinese way" and then having to explain, then that we want cash....

    Any ideas on cash registries that have worked for you?   Thanks!!

     
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    Helper bee
    thebriz    May 2010   Brooklyn, NY

    Wow, that's a toughy.  I think if you tell folks you aren't registered, most will get the hint.  After all, guests can't really expect to be invited to a lavish affair like a wedding and not provide some gift. 

    I tinkered with the idea of no registry but decided that there were a few things we could get.  But I only registered for what was really needed; there is the possibility that everything gets bought so the rest will have to supply cash.  I tell you, not to sound mean, and I know it's not about the gifts, but if someone didn't give us something for inviting them to the wedding, I can't say that they will ever get an invite to anything else (I can see that being more of a potential issue on his side with certain family members).

    GL, I hope you come up with a workable solution.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    vintage2010    April 10, 2010  

    I looked into the honeymoon funds and thought the fees were crazy too and didn't want to do that to ourselves or our guests.  I went ahead and did a registry of higher end dishes, crystal, sheets and towels that I normally wouldn't spend on myself but that way I at least gave people another option.  I've been surprised that people have been getting us those items.

    Also, last week we did a shower for my cousin and had requested to do a cash shower because they already have items/house and are prego and could use the cash.  Well we had people tell us that they didn't like doing cash because they like to go buy items on-sale or with coupons and get them a $50 item for 35-40 dollars.

    So we ended-up having to change the shower plans.

     
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    Busy bee
    lotam240    October 3, 2009   Philadelphia

    I'd also recomment honeyfund for your honeymoon.  I think there's also a registry for a down payment on a house floating around on the internet, but I don't know what it's specifically called.

     
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    Helper bee
    allurex112    October 24, 2009   Live in NYC, Wedding in Philly

    I was in a similar situation, too. I opted for honeyfund. It's technically supposed to go towards your honeymoon, but in reality, the guests write you a check and you can use it for whatever you want.

     
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    Blushing bee
    MehBee    May 15, 2010  

    thanks everyone! this is super helpful!

     
    7.
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    Blushing bee
    MehBee    May 15, 2010  

    I looked into honeyfund but feels too much just like hard cash... so we've decided to have a small traditional registry with BB&B.  We've told most people we're doing in the "chinese way" and for those who look at us as if we're crazy, we'll direct them to our traditional registry.   It was hard coming up with things we actually want, but I guess anyone can use an upgrade for things like vacumn cleaner, coffee machine, etc..... Also, we can always change our mind and return to BB&B for cash (!) or exchange if we decided we don't really need it.. is that wrong?   

    Thanks everyone for your help!

     
    8.
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    Busy bee
    wildstyle    October 1, 2010   Las Vegas

    I don't want a registry and personally, I don't care if I get gifts or not (not so true of my partner but he wants little things like kitchen stuff) so we have decided to do a registry for mainly inexpensive items at someplace like target.  I also don't want people who do want ot buy us something to be confused and stressed.  I am pretty hard to shop for.

     

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