Registry and Reception Question

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
42157 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

brendaray2009:  I am assuming there will be a ceremony, if she is getting married. They may not be inviting everyone to the ceremony, but still want to celebrate with friends and family.

Other than the fact that the shower and reception are close together, so it could be  a budget concern for some guests purchasing two gifts close together, I see no difference between her situation and any other.

I would buy a gift for the shower and if money was tight, you could always send a wedding gift later. Do at least take a nice card to the reception.

Post # 3
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would just bring a gift to the shower and not the wedding.

Post # 5
1473 posts
Bumble bee

If money is a problem, buy the shower gift now (July is a fair amount of time away) and then buy the wedding gift in July shortly before the wedding. You don’t have to buy both gifts the week of. You have time to spread it out.

Post # 6
6455 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think it’s rude at all to have the shower one week before the wedding. I also don’t know why it matters that they don’t have anywhere to put anything. It is strange to ask guests to bring food though…

Anyways, I would probably bring a gift to both events- do what you can afford.

Post # 7
5787 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If the bride is asking you to bring a dish to the reception, I would assume that the dish you bring is the gift.  Buy a physical gift for the shower. If you don’t want to gift anything that is on the registry then give a gift of your choice or just give cash.

Post # 8
43 posts

Here is what I would do. Have your shower gift be from both you and your mother. I would get her a small gift card to Victoria’s secret, like 25 dollars or something and have the card say to get something for the wedding night, you mentioned that she might not have room for something so this solves that problem. Then you and your mom can decide if you each want to get her something off the registry for the wedding or if you want to go in on something together. Hopefully there will be items in your price range on the registry! You don’t need to break the bank to get 2 things, just get what you can afford.  

Post # 9
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

If you financially can afford 2 gifts, I think it would really mean a lot to her. It sounds like shes in the midst of some struggles and the support of her family and friends would probably mean the world.

Post # 10
567 posts
Busy bee

To me if I was asked to bring a dish for a wedding that would be my gift (especially if she wants you to make enough for everyone). I would get them a shower gift though. 

Post # 12
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I swear my grandmother is Emily Post reincarnated sometimes and she has said for my own wedding that gifts at the wedding aren’t the right thing to do. Gifts are given at the shower. Gifts that show up at the wedding are from those who either couldn’t make the shower or weren’t close enough to the bride to be invited to the shower. Personally, my shower is six days before my wedding. And I’m not expecting two gifts from people.

I would just bring a gift to the shower and a card with maybe a small monetary amount to the wedding. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  .
Post # 13
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

I would not buy a gift for a shower one week before the wedding, then buy a second gift for a wedding one week later. (I hate showers in general, but still.) That just seems like a lot to ask of your guests. However, if the only people celebrating are close friends and family, they may be inclined to do so as a gesture to help out.

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