Post # 1
This seems to be an unresolved issue with many brides and ugh i need help too!
ok so me and my fiance have everything that we possibly need for our house and would prefer cash as gifts to upgrade some of our furniture. Of course i wouldn’t mind getting gifts, but we prefer cash. So on my wedding website there is a section for a registry. I put the link for our macys registry but also included a cute poem that i found online as a way to let guests know this..my question is…is this rude??
So what do you get
For the Bride and Groom
Whose house has things
In every room?
When shopping for a present
Please, don’t be rash
As the option is there
to just give cash
We hope that you don’t find
Our request to be funny
But the decision is yours
To buy a present, or just give money
Now you have the choice
Please do not fuss
the most important thing of all
Is that you come and celebrate with us!
Post # 3
It strikes me as gimmicky, sorry. If I saw that on a registry of a wedding I was invited to, I would be turned off by it. Cash is *always* a gift option, there’s no need to state the obvious. If you would prefer cash instead of physical gifts, the best way to communicate that is to keep the registry very small. People will figure it out.
Post # 4
Asking for cash is always rude. A “cute” poem doesn’t make it any better. As PP said, it’s universal knowledge that cash is a gift option and always appreciated. I’d say about 2/3 of our gifts were cash and we had 3 registries and didn’t ask for it at all.
If your Macy’s registry is small people will get the hint that you have everything you need already so cash is probably best. You can also spread via word of mouth (when people ask that is) that you are saving up for new furniture.
Post # 5
As cutesy as it is, I’m sorry but it’s still rude to ask for cash. Between a small registry and spreading via word of mouth that you’re saving up for new furniture, your guests will get the hint about the cash.
Post # 6
true thanks for the opinions i actually had always thought it was rude to ask and most people do give cash gifts anyways, but my MIL had brought up the idea. So I just wanted more opinions on the matter.
thanks for the help!
Post # 7
Dressing it up in a cutesy poem, doesn’t make it any less impolite to dictate what gifts your guests should give you.
Don’t register and guests will take the hint.
Post # 8
Yeah I agree with PP. We combined two houses and didn’t need anything for our house…. So I just didn’t register for anything anywhere. People asked me where we were registered and I explained we weren’t as there wasn’t anything for the house we really needed. For my family my dad told my relatives we needed to paint the house and get some storage things so they all got us money or GC’s.
Just don’t register anywhere, people figure it out.
Post # 9
Requests for cash as a wedding gift never go over very well, no matter if the request is written in a nice poem. People don’t like being told what they have to give you. (It also presumes that they will have to give you a gift, which they don’t).
My suggestion is to leave out the poem and just ask friends and family to gently pass along the word that you guys are looking for new furniture. Most people (in my experience) give cash for wedding gifts anyway. Best not to offend them beforehand…
Post # 10
I’m not a fan of the poem. I think people will find it rude. I had a friend that got married and had a poem similar to this along with her invite and people were not impressed. My best advice is to not include a resgitry on the website so people will not know what to get you and will just give cash instead.
Post # 11
Frankly I hate that asking for cash is rude. EVERYBODY WANTS TO DO IT. MOST PEOPLE I KNOW WOULD PREFER TO GIVE CASH BUT GET A GIFT BECAUSE THEY THINK THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT, SINCE YOU ASKED FOR IT. If somebody said to me “I’d rather just have the cash” I would not be offended at all. Then again I’m not easily offended, and people on this site tend to care a lot about etiquette. I personally care not about etiquette one bit in my life #sosueme
Post # 12
yeah i don’t think the cheesy poem helps any, to be honest
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
@KCKnd2: +1, no one needs to be told that cash is an option- they already know it. Plus, it’s in poor form to tell them that they can give cash or a gift because that implies that you are demanding gifts in the first place
Post # 14
I’ve gotten invitations that said cash was prefered and I wasn’t at all offended. I’d rather know the couples’ exact preference than not. I’d go without the poem and be honest: We have an established household and would prefer money as gifts.
Post # 15
I don’t think that poem is cute — I’d probably think it was rude.