(Closed) registry etiquette confusion

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

It strikes me as gimmicky, sorry. If I saw that on a registry of a wedding I was invited to, I would be turned off by it. Cash is *always* a gift option, there’s no need to state the obvious. If you would prefer cash instead of physical gifts, the best way to communicate that is to keep the registry very small. People will figure it out.

Post # 4
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Asking for cash is always rude.  A “cute” poem doesn’t make it any better.  As PP said, it’s universal knowledge that cash is a gift option and always appreciated.  I’d say about 2/3 of our gifts were cash and we had 3 registries and didn’t ask for it at all.

If your Macy’s registry is small people will get the hint that you have everything you need already so cash is probably best.  You can also spread via word of mouth (when people ask that is) that you are saving up for new furniture.

 

Post # 5
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

As cutesy as it is, I’m sorry but it’s still rude to ask for cash.  Between a small registry and spreading via word of mouth that you’re saving up for new furniture, your guests will get the hint about the cash.

Post # 7
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

Dressing it up in a cutesy poem, doesn’t make it any less impolite to dictate what gifts your guests should give you.

Don’t register and guests will take the hint.

Post # 8
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yeah I agree with PP.  We combined two houses and didn’t need anything for our house…. So I just didn’t register for anything anywhere.  People asked me where we were registered and I explained we weren’t as there wasn’t anything for the house we really needed.  For my family my dad told my relatives we needed to paint the house and get some storage things so they all got us money or GC’s. 

Just don’t register anywhere, people figure it out.

Post # 9
Member
763 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Requests for cash as a wedding gift never go over very well, no matter if the request is written in a nice poem.  People don’t like being told what they have to give you. (It also presumes that they will have to give you a gift, which they don’t).

My suggestion is to leave out the poem and just ask friends and family to gently pass along the word that you guys are looking for new furniture.  Most people (in my experience) give cash for wedding gifts anyway.  Best not to offend them beforehand…

Post # 10
Member
5243 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m not a fan of the poem. I think people will find it rude. I had a friend that got married and had a poem similar to this along with her invite and people were not impressed. My best advice is to not include a resgitry on the website so people will not know what to get you and will just give cash instead.

Post # 11
Member
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Frankly I hate that asking for cash is rude. EVERYBODY WANTS TO DO IT. MOST PEOPLE I KNOW WOULD PREFER TO GIVE CASH BUT GET A GIFT BECAUSE THEY THINK THAT’S WHAT YOU WANT, SINCE YOU ASKED FOR IT. If somebody said to me “I’d rather just have the cash” I would not be offended at all. Then again I’m not easily offended, and people on this site tend to care a lot about etiquette. I personally care not about etiquette one bit in my life #sosueme

Post # 12
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

yeah i don’t think the cheesy poem helps any, to be honest

Post # 13
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

@KCKnd2:  +1, no one needs to be told that cash is an option- they already know it. Plus, it’s in poor form to tell them that they can give cash or a gift because that implies that you are demanding gifts in the first place

Post # 14
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’ve gotten invitations that said cash was prefered and I wasn’t at all offended. I’d rather know the couples’ exact preference than not. I’d go without the poem and be honest: We have an established household and would prefer money as gifts.

Post # 15
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think that poem is cute — I’d probably think it was rude.

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