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If your cousin is your BM, you must be close to her. Tell her you guys made an error in picking them and the quality didn't represent well at all in person..
I would return them for the ones you want. They never need to know. People exchange shower gifts all the time. Just send a thank you note thanking them for the wonderful dishes.
@MissACS- You think that's ok? I feel like if we make it all on us (because it is) and are honest then it'll be fine. We weren't even going to register for dinnerware but in the spur of the moment did...bad decision. We ALWAYS research EVERYTHING before we buy and we didn't...now I know why we always do that to avoid getting crap.
@Roxy821- Only problem is cousin is a BM so she'll have to come down before the wedding to do stuff and stay with me...she'll notice.
UGH. I never should have registered!
I agree with MissACS - I think you're ok with returning/exchanging them & just explain to your Aunt & cousin what happened.You weren't sure in the 1st place so it's not your fault and you'd still be using their gift to buy 2 place settings - which was their intention anyway.
I'd make sure you go to BB&B and check it all out for yourselves though so you're sure you like them & it doesn't happen again. When we went to the store there were a lot of things we liked online that we didn't like in person.
That's what I mean, make it all on you. Tell her you should have researched better, but they looked so great online and blah blah you included them in the registry.
If she's your BM and cousin, hopefully she'll understand.
As far as I know, people exchange wedding gifts all the time! I can't imagine they would be offended, especially since you're planning on exchanging them for another dinnerware set. I would give your cuz a heads-up, something like "thanks for the plates, you're awesome! We totally spaced out though and registered for the wrong set, but we exchanged them for these and will think of you every time we use them!"
they didn't make the product, so hopefully they won't take it personally. thank them properly, say that you received them and found out that they were not represented accurately, so you returned them and got another set that you love so much, and thank you again! don't mention the "bad quality"--again, while they didn't make the product, using that phrase might make them feel badly.
Honestly, it's the thought that counts. Your cousin and aunt wanted to get you your set of dishes, they don't really care what kind or type of dishes they are, they just wanted to get what YOU wanted, which is why they bought them off your registry. I would go ahead and return them for a better quality set and leave it at that.
I agree with MissACS. If it were me, I would call them up and apologize and say (after thanking them, of course), "Gosh, I'm so sorry, and this is a little awkward, but would you mind if we returned them? I know they were on our registry, but when we saw them in person, the quality was not at all what we thought it was. We'd really love to have dishes that will last a lifetime, but we felt so guilty for exchanging them because we were so excited that you chose such a great gift for us!"
@peanut- love the "will think of you every time we use them!" great!
@Misspugs- Yeah I'll leave out the poor quality part. We should have known better and done research!
I would return them. But I think I would tell them. Like send a thank you note saying you recieved them and they were the ones you originally wanted but there is a broken piece and they weren't exactly what you thought they were so you have to take them back are going to get a different set or something. they shouldn't be offended and should be happy that you are getting what you want.
yeah, crappy part is now we will have to pay more since we got the lower priced ones and the ones I like are going to be $40 more. But I found a 20% off in my email for in store purchases only so now I'm calling around trying to find them in store! If I find them it'll only cost us like $8-10 so not bad.
I think you could explain that they came broken and that made you decide on a different set. They won't be offended, if anything they'll apologize for the set having arrived broken. People buy stuff to be nice, so I'm sure they'll be just as happy if you use the money to get another set.
I honestly dont think its necessary to tell them. IF your cousin comes over and notices then sure, go ahead and explain what happened. If not, no biggie! Imagine if we told people every time we exchanged or returned a gift! Im sure this wont be the only time something on your registry breaks or isnt just right. Its just that its the first time and you are unsure of how to handle the situation - understandably. When you write your thank you note you can still say that you will think about your aunt/cousin every time you use them - they dont have to know which plates youre using!
I saw own up to the exchange. It isn't your fault. When you saw the dishes in person, they weren't of great quality and so you had to pick out a different set. I think you Aunt and Cousin were trying to get you what you wanted, so in the end, thats what you should get.
Oh my goodness, totally return them!
They bought you something off your registry because they THOUGHT you wanted it. If you change your mind, return it - they clearly want you to be happy and want you to have the dishes you want!
They just bought you what you registered for so I don't think they'd be upset if you exchanged them. Its not like they picked them out for you. I'm sure they just want you to be happy with your gift!
i would just return them and get what you want. thank them for the dishes, they don't need to know, especially if they don't come to your house.
I found the set that I like only 1/2 hour from us so I can use the 20% off coupon and get the Mikasa dishes I like. Yeah, only now FI tells me he isn't sure about them because they might be too modern for our "style" I will not budge on this, I want them and there is really nothing else in our range unless we start doing individual place settings, which I wanted to stay away from. I will tell my aunt and cousin so then I have nothing to hide when they visit. Thanks for the advice bees!
i agree with clarebee---i dont think you have to tell them, but when they come to visit i would say "oh--i wanted to show you our dishes---we made a mistake with our original choice" obviously they wont care---they only got you the dished they thought you wanted.
Returning the dishes tonight and getting the Mikasa dishes that we like. I am going to write a nice thank you note tonight to both my aunt and cousin saying how very much we appreciate the engagment gift and sadly when we went to the store they didn't have a replacement set and while there we fell in love with a lovely set of Mikasa dishes and got them. We love them and will think of you everytime we use them!
Sound ok?
I think that sounds great. If I was the person receiving that note I would be totally fine with it.
I think that sounds perfect. People really do return gifts all the time. Bed Bath & Beyond will actually give you cash back for stuff. I know people that returned bakeware, got cash, and went to buy pots & pans at the Calphalon outlet. In the end gift givers just want to feel like you got something that you need/will enjoy. Especially since you are exchanging them for other dishes, you are fine!
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FI and I registered 2 Sundays ago. I haven't posted it on our website yet but we already received a engagement gift from my amazing Aunt and Cousin who is a BM.
Problem:
They got us all the dishes we originally thought we wanted. One of the sets has a broken plate so we need to return them. After opening the box FI and I realized that they are pretty cheaply made. They aren't glazed/polished on the inside coffee mugs and feel like sandpaper on your lips. This is the set we asked for (2 of them, which we now have)
We really dislike them now that we know they are poor quality. Is it bad to take them back and exchange them for something else? My Aunt and Cousin seldom visit so it's not like they would notice anytime soon. Our friends have a Mikasa set like this in black and it seems like much better quality (we would get it in brown).
Is it poor etiquette to return them even though we did register for them? I feel like they are cheap and will break and we'll hate to use them because they are scratchy mugs. Should I be upfront and tell them we realized we don't like them or wait until they notice if they ever visit for dinner? I know at BBB you can return things for a gift card so we would take the card and buy the other set w/out putting it on our registry then just delete the other set (I don't think they stalk my registry and would notice).
Help! I would be happier knowing someone was using something they wanted instead of wasting my money on poor quality. But that's just me.