(Closed) Registry Etiquette

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Registry info....
    card is OK to be included with the invitation suite. : (9 votes)
    14 %
    in invitation suite is tacky, and should be left to word of mouth only. : (55 votes)
    86 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I always read that it’s not OK to include it. When I opened up someone else’s invitation and saw a big blazing "so and so are registered here" it really read to me like "here buy us a gift!" although I know some people appreciate the ease of knowing right off the bat where you are registered. We set up a website and are having the FI’s mother spread the news to her less-techy family.

    My one big thing with registries is to not register for stuff you wouldn’t want to buy yourself. I have too many friends who registered for extra, unecessary gifts so they could return them for cash later, knowing family would easily spend $200 on a blender for them. My registry is small, but it’s all things I need and it’s all priced to the point that I woudl consider buying it myself, not just the over-inflated super fancy item. I’m trying not to *gouge* my guests I guess. I just want to know that when I buy someone else a wedding gift, it’s something they need AND want, not just something they’re going to return for cash or store credit. This is really something that bothers me. I’d just as soon write a check

    Post # 4
    Member
    1205 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I think that the change in the rules, if you’re looking to see how etiquette is evolving, is to include registry information on the wedding website. In the past, regisrty information was passed by word of mouth, but in the age where not every guest knows the bride’s mother, it’s become common to search for info on the web… much like we’re doing here!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2205 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think that if etiquette is evolving on this topic, it’s probably evolving into using your wedding website to announce registry information rather than to include the registry inserts in the invitation.  I still think it’s an etiquette no-no!

    Post # 6
    Member
    699 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I had it originally on my invitations on the ‘information’ page. I had never thought about it and had seen it on other invitations. After reading how ‘tacky’ that was, I took it off.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2250 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    go with a website, that way if the guests are looking for the info they can get to it, but it isn’t in their face that they have to get you a gift.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t like including it in the invitation. Is there any other big event in your life where you would send info about the present you want along with the invitation/announcement? Anyone include that with their Bat Mitzvah? First Communion? Graduation? Even birthday party?

    Yes, it is convenient.  But presents still are actually optional for a wedding. Sending registry info indicates that they are not.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2004 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    I agree you should put it on the website if you have one and not in the invitation itself. The website you can list on the invite.

    Post # 10
    Member
    820 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Shower invites=yes, wedding invites=no

    Post # 11
    Member
    6010 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Eh, I’m not offended by it at all.  I’ve seen invitations with registry information and invites without, and I really don’t care one way or the other.  I think a lot of it depends on your family and friends.  In some circles, it’s just more common and more acceptable than in others.  We put registry information on our website only, but that’s because we also included a link directly to that registry page, which I thought made it a lot more convenient for our guests. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1230 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    Just include it on your website – then post the website somewhere on your invites  = easy! (and not so "in your face" tacky) 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I’m still not fond of including it on shower invites, which as monalisa pointed out, is technically okay.  I opened a shower invite and had a list of the couples 5 registries (with BIG colored logos and everything!) fall out.  It left a bad taste in my mouth.  I think that’s the big thing about keeping the list out of your invite–you don’t want to make anyone think "ugh, I guess I have to go to Crate & Barrel again…"

    Post # 15
    Member
    2250 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    just put the website. don’t mention the registry.

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