Post # 1
The title says it all. I received an invitation to a bridal shower and the couple has been living together for several years. We visit them often so I know what they have and what they don’t have. Anyway, I checked out the registry and it’s full of stuff they already have. I understand that registries need to have a variety of items to fit all budgets, and things that should be replaced regularly like shower curtains and other items of the sort are fine to have in stock, but how many sets of steak knives does one need? Furniture? This registry made it appear as if they were moving into their first home and for some reason it rubbed me the wrong way. I ended up purchasing gift cards (which were also on the registry). Am I crazy for finding this odd?
Post # 2
Acceptable. People are going to be buying gifts for a wedding. The registry just helps point them in the right direction.
Post # 3
It’s fine — you don’t have to buy off the registry if you don’t want to. It’s just a list of things they’d appreciate receiving if you opt to get them a gift. Like you did, just buy a gift card or give cash or get something sentimental. Registries aren’t demands for gifts.
Post # 4
I think it’s totally fine. I’ve lived with my FI for 3 years. I can’t wait to upgrade our knife set and get some better sheets!
Post # 5
My FI and I live together and although yes, we might have already had two sets of the mismatching plates from when he lived in his college dorm and the second hand pans that still work but not well, we put those things on our registry because we wanted stuff that actually worked well and matched that we don’t have and people want to know what to get you anyway. Having knives that cut anf pans that don’t take double the time to cook has helped our daily lives and we’re very grateful. That could be the case with this couple.
Post # 6
I’d be put off, unless the items they already have are of a lower quality and they’re upgrading some “key” items. Like if they have a 5-year-old $20 coffee maker from Target already and have a new Cuisinart one on the reigstry, fair play. If they already have a top-of-the-line coffee maker and have another on the registry, I’d suspect they’re planning to return their gifts and get some cash. In which case, I’d be annoyed, but I’d probably give just cash (and possibly a little less than I’d normally give).
Post # 7
cls9q: Exactly because (if you’re like us anywa) the stuff you have is all stuff probably merged together and handed down and it’s not the same thing as having items bought for you to start your life together 🙂
Post # 8
I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Soemone is always gonna end up buying you a present for your wedding. Might as well be something you need. In fact, if you’ve been living together for a while, a registry might come more in handy than if you weren’t since you’re more likely to have a lot of typical wedding gift items already.
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
They are probably trying to get better versions of the stuff they already have. When you’re establishing a household, you may get something less expensive and later on realize that your tastes are different or you should upgrade to a better quality item.
I know when I was planning my wedding, I was worried about all the different judgements from other people and my DH told me to cut it out. As you think it’s off-putting for them to have a registry, someone else might think it would be stupid if they didn’t have one. It just proves that when you plan a wedding, you just have to be as considerate as possible, but go with your gut and do what’s right for you.
Post # 10
A huge amount of couples live together before marriage. It wouldn’t bother me in the least.
Post # 11
Horseradish: That’s the thing. My friend (the groom) is one of those people who buys top of the line luxury everything, so nothing he owns is a hand-me-down, low quality or outdated. It’s like they’re replacing their high quality new stuff with more high quality new stuff!
Post # 12
I would assume they’re upgrading. Even if that means buying the slightly newer and more gadget filled version of something they already have but is few years old. Especially if this guy is into the best of the best, I’d guess he wants to newest and greatest.
So I don’t see the registry as offensive. If you don’t want to buy from it or would prefer to get a gift card, that’s perfectly fine. But I don’t see any reason to be rubbed the weong way by a registry.
Post # 13
I put all that stuff on mine and I have been living with FI for almost 2 years. I cant wait for a new bedding set, new cookware. I would love to upgrade what I have now. I dont see a problem with this what so ever. I dont understand why this would rub you the wrong way.
Post # 14
I do get it. It kind of feels like a cash grab, especially if it is the sort of place where you can return registry items for cash.
Post # 15
Not sure why it rubs you the wrong way. More and more couples are chosing to live together before marriage. We also registered for top of the line stuff even though we had decent household items already.
Also, to purposely give them less money because youre annoyed at their registery is a dick move so I would stick to what youre comfortable giving.