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i agree that you definitely shouldn't put registry info in with your invitations. if you want people to know where you're registered you could create a website with all information pertaining to your wedding. where you're registered also gets out by word of mouth and after you have showers.
With the proliferation of sites such as theknot.com and weddingchannel.com, it should be fairly easy for your guests to see where you are registered. It is also perfectly appropriate to create a wedding website and to include a link to your registry there.
Don't put it in there. People can ask your parents or bridal party. Or- if you're registered at a common place (BB&B, Macy's, Target, etc) people can just search for your names and wedding date (I've done this myself for other couples that didn't include registry info).
For shower invites, I think the rules are a little more lax. Since it's not you sending the invites, the shower hostess can include the info.
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It's usually up to the parents of the couple and the bridal party to know where the couple is registered if asked, though now many couples (and their guests) find it convenient to have the registry info listed discretely on the wedding website. It's simply a rule that's in place to avoid looking like you're asking for gifts - or requiring them - with the invitation.
I hope that helps!
PS - I've also heard it considered bad form to have the registries listed on any shower invites, just in case whomever throws you a shower is having the same confusion. :)
You are never supposed to put registry info in the invitation, though you can definetly put it in the shower invitation. If you have a wedding website, you can also put your registry info on there. Etiquette wise, you are never supposed to assume people will get you a gift for your wedding so you arent supposed to put it in the invitation because it would look like you are asking for gifts. For the shower, you are supposed to be "showered" with gifts so people include the registry information. Otherwise it is just word of mouth.
FYI, if you go to theknot.com, you can type in peoples names and their registry information will come up (and through weddingchannel.com)
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While I was about to make a card with registry information to go in our invites, I looked online for correct wording & etiquette. Then I quickly found out that putting registry information in Invitations is a big NO NO! I had NO idea! I thought you were SUPPOSED to. I don't want to offend anyone so I want to stay within the etiquette guidelines but I also wanted to see everyone else's take on this!