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Put your registry info on your website and have your wedding party or parents let guests know via word of mouth if/when they ask. I think the sentiment behind not putting it in your invite is that it's in poor taste/rude to expect people to bring a gift (although we all know we do 
).
I've always heard that its rude to include registry info on your invite but I've almost always gotten invitations with registries.
I put my registry info on my invite...guess i'm rude :-O
It is a no-no. Even the lady at BB&B said "Here's some cards to put in your invites to show your registry info. It isn't a no-no." I said "Yeah, thanks" and recycled them.
It actually never even occured to me to put the registry on the invite, and I'm not sure why! I had a wedding website that I put on the invite, so I figured if people wanted to see it they could, and most of the women attending were invited to my shower as well so they would know where to look.
My family only ever does money gifts as well so I think that's why I didn't really think to put it on there too. The last few weddings I went to it only had the wedding website, so maybe the site is a new way to come across as not tacky?
come to think of it all the places that we thought of registering with and ended up going with give u a pretty little card with registry information to put in the invite so it cant be that outrageous.
Word-of-moth is the only appropriate way to do it. Older guests will know to ask your mom or your MOH. Younger guests will either ask you directly, hear through the grapevine, or do a search for your name on weddingchannel.com (which shows multiple registries).
I think those cards are meant for the showers, not the invitations.
I have never recieved an invitation with registry information, and didn't put it on mine either.
It is absolutely a no-no to put the registry on the invite.
The number one gift is the guests' presence. This is why it is not OK to put the registry on the invite.
The secondary gift is whatever card or object they give you. The maid of honor/best man are responsible for making sure people know about the registry. People will inquire, or they will get their own gifts (even knowing about a registry some people want to get something else).
You can put it on your website if you do one.
I would not (and did not) put registry info on/in invites. I've only seen people use those cards for showers - not actual wedding invites.
I'd just include your registry info on your website and otherwise rely on word of mouth.
absolutely not! it's incredibly rude to put registry info on your invitation. the stores only give out those cards because they want people to buy from them - they don't care about etiquette or your best interest! you can put your website on an info card in your invitation set, and then link to the registry from your website, but never put your registry on the actual invitaion! it's offensive.
No, you don't put anything about registries on the invites. I am putting in a separate card that will have our web site listed on it. The web site is the place to tell people where you are registered or by word of mouth.
@noodlesploosh: It's considered poor etiquette to put registry information on invitations. The reason is because the purpose of an invitation is to request your guests' presence to share in an experience--in this place, witnessing vows. It is an extension of hospitality. Registry information implies that your guests' attendance is contingent upon giving a gift and thereby a breach of the very hospitality you are trying to offer (and according to traditional etiquette--and there are many different views on this, but I've seen this is several etiquette books--no one is required to give a wedding gift, even though it's customary).
Very very traditional etiquette holds that the bride and groom should never directly ask for wedding gifts, which means no registry info on your STDs or website either--strictly word of mouth. And believe me, people WILL call your parents, his parents, and/or your bridal party members if they don't see a registry listed--so don't worry about no one seeing your registry if you go this route. No one will assume you don't want gifts just because it's not on your website/invite/STD.
However.
Times are a'changing and now it's far more common to see registry information on the website with a reference to the website on the invite and/or STD. In fact, some (particularly younger) guests consider it a breach of etiquette NOT to have the info on your registry because it puts the burden of finding everything on them.
So the bottom line is: No registry info on the invitation; yes it's okay to put it on your website and have the website referenced on your invite/std unless you want to adhere to conservative etiquette in which case go by word of mouth.
(Sorry it's such a long response--I feel it's helpful to explain where these "rules" come from--bear in mind, I am not the etiquette god--this is just knowledge I've culled over the years and from reading lots of books :)
You can put your wedding website on an insert (with directions or details) and include the registry info on the site. Most people will ask though. I just made sure my parents and my in-laws knew where to direct people.
I wont be putting the registry on the invite. I havn't decided yet whether or not I will mention me and Nathan's wedding website again. BUT I did put it on our STD and the website has our registry's and all that good stuff.
Good luck on what you decide!
I wont be putting the registry on the invite. I havn't decided yet whether or not I will mention me and Nathan's wedding website again. BUT I did put it on our STD and the website has our registry's and all that good stuff.
Good luck on what you decide!
Wow, thank you! This is something I was entirely clueless about. I don't think I've ever seen a poll go so unswervingly in one direction. My goodness!
I've recieved 1 wedding invite with the registry info on there and I felt as if it was very tacky. If people want to get you a gift they'll figure it out - give cash, ask around, search online.
I have never received an invite with registry information. I have also never even received a bridal shower invite with the cards, usually just the locations the bride is registered written small on the invitation. If you have a wedding website, that helps. People can always find out where you're registered!
I definitely think some people get offended when the registry info is included in the invitation. BUT, it's definitely OK to have your website info on the invitation, and have your registry info on the website. Lots of stores are trying to convince brides and grooms that it's not a no-no anymore -- but that's because it's better for their bottom line for the info to get out there in whatever way possible. Don't do it! :) Word of mouth, letting your mom/bridesmaids/etc. know about registries is a much safer bet.
Maybe it's common in canada, but I've received several invites with registry cards and I never thought it was rude. Actually, I appreciated not having to track down the information myself.
Agreed! Every wedding I've ever been to either had the registry information or the word "Presentation" written on the invite.
I think it just depends where you live and whats common in your area.
But I think putting the info on your wedding website it a nicer way of doing it.
Of the last 2 weddings I was invited to (both Canadian), 1 had registry cards in the envelope and 1 didn't. I didn't think twice about it at the time, but now that I'm researching wedding stuff and know the etiquette and how strongly some people feel about it, I'd never include registry info in the invite. I don't want to offend anyone!
People include registry info all the time in the invites but it is rude to do so. The information should be spread via word of mouth.
wow, i voted yes it is rude to put registry info on the invite, but i took that to mean on the actual invitation which is in the inner envelope. what i commonly get (in canada) is registry cards in the main envelope. so i thought that was totally fine and thats what i did! i hope people don't think i am rude. i was going by all the invites i have received in the past: larger outer envelope which includes inner envelope with only invitation in it, and then also response cards, reception cards, and registry cards are also all found in the outer envelope.
is that really wrong? i sure hope not
@noodlesploosh: No one cares. I've been getting wedding invites for 10 years and it has always included registry info. I guess I hang out with a bunch of rude people. Oh well. It cuts time and I don't have to waste my time tracking down the brides friends and family to ask them where they are registered.
I've never seen it on the actual wedding invitation. People I know have just put the cards from the store (if they gave them to you) in the invitation to the shower or the information on the website.
I wouldn't care one way or the other if I received an invite with registry info, buy my fiance and I just listed our website on the save the date and put the info online so no one would whine and complain. :)
what kitzy said. of course they want you to promote your registry with them- they want people to buy their stuff!
however i dont really understand the argument that it "makes less work for me to track down the info." in this day and age with the internet it takes 5 seconds to run a search to bring up all the registries. the people who dont know will ask if they care enough to get a gift (or will just give cash) and those who are internet savvy (all you bees!) can take an extra minute to search for it. im still pretty old school as far as following etiquette so i definitely believe it's rude.
I've definitely heard it's a bad move. Nowadays I think people can pretty easily google registries, though traditionally they're spread by word of mouth
as most have said - it is TECHNICALLY against etiquette to put the registry info on the invites. we did - but we actually put it on one of the inserts in the invitation - not on the invitation itself - but I believe it was on the hotel information insert.
NO one had a problem with it and if they did, they didn't let it be known...of course - out of the hundred or so people at our wedding - we got like 10 actual gifts...everyone pretty much gave us cash! which, of course, we were very happy with! lol
Every wedding I've been to (and I've been to quite a few now) had those little registry cards in the invite. I'm reading on all the wedding websites and from places like WeddingBee that it's an etiquette no-no and it's rude, but people seem to be doing it anyway. I was never offended.
I was talking with FI about it and we thought that maybe the standard of it being rude is simply outdated. When you're having a wedding of say, 50 of your closest friends and family, word of mouth is a reliable way to communicate. But when you're inviting over 100 people, not all from the same town (or even country) and not all knowing very many other people, including something about your registry info so they don't have to track it down may be seen as a courtesy. It's certainly being done more and more.
I think that only including your registry info on your website could exclude your elderly guests from that information. But I guess that then you're just relying on word of mouth. But if you've got family who aren't that involved in the wedding or who you're not getting along with, word of mouth may not happen.
My point: I think that when more of the other etiquette was being observed (brides parents hosting the wedding therefore word of mouth would be reliable for at least one side of the family) that not including the registry cards was a good idea. But with more couples doing the whole thing themselves now, I think the little cards or some sort of registry info in the invites is a good idea.
Telling the registry locations on a wedding invite is a major no-no. Yes, I have received invitations with those little cards stuck in them. Each and every time, I have gotten them, I am left with the same impression that someone failed look at an etiquette book and is unaware of how "tacky" this appears to knowledgeable guests. The shops that encourage you to put them in your invitations are doing so to benefit the shop and not you. I think those are okay in a shower invitation, but actually I would rather see it handwritten by a bridesmaid or even better, just shared by word of mouth by family and friends in a proper sort of fashion. Truthfully, if your family capable of using the internet, they will probably be able to do a little detective work to figure out if you are registered at any regional or national department store.
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Last night, one of my bridesmaids and I went to "The Wedding Parties" at Crate & Barrel. You get a free drink, free food, a scanner to start your registry, and a free gift! (For me: two heart-shaped champagne flutes! Super cute!).
Anyway, she mentioned while we were wandering around scanning stuff that it's actually an etiquette no-no to put your registry on your invitations. She's pretty knowledgeable about etiquette and event planning, which is one reason I really wanted to have her join me when I started registering. I told her that I can't recall the last wedding I was invited to that didn't include the registries! Maybe I'm mistaken and people are just including their wedding website, which has links to the registries, but I honestly think I always see where the bride and room are registered.
Am I making this up? Is this rude? I find it helpful to have a registry, and am including directions, hotel info, etc., on the invite as I find it's an informative guide. (Or at least I'll say, for registry, hotel info, and things to do, visit our website...)
What do you think?