Post # 1
Last night, one of my bridesmaids and I went to “The Wedding Parties” at Crate & Barrel. You get a free drink, free food, a scanner to start your registry, and a free gift! (For me: two heart-shaped champagne flutes! Super cute!).
Anyway, she mentioned while we were wandering around scanning stuff that it’s actually an etiquette no-no to put your registry on your invitations. She’s pretty knowledgeable about etiquette and event planning, which is one reason I really wanted to have her join me when I started registering. I told her that I can’t recall the last wedding I was invited to that didn’t include the registries! Maybe I’m mistaken and people are just including their wedding website, which has links to the registries, but I honestly think I always see where the bride and room are registered.
Am I making this up? Is this rude? I find it helpful to have a registry, and am including directions, hotel info, etc., on the invite as I find it’s an informative guide. (Or at least I’ll say, for registry, hotel info, and things to do, visit our website…)
What do you think?
Post # 3
Put your registry info on your website and have your wedding party or parents let guests know via word of mouth if/when they ask. I think the sentiment behind not putting it in your invite is that it’s in poor taste/rude to expect people to bring a gift (although we all know we do ).
Post # 4
I’ve always heard that its rude to include registry info on your invite but I’ve almost always gotten invitations with registries.
I put my registry info on my invite…guess i’m rude :-O
Post # 5
It is a no-no. Even the lady at BB&B said “Here’s some cards to put in your invites to show your registry info. It isn’t a no-no.” I said “Yeah, thanks” and recycled them.
Post # 6
It actually never even occured to me to put the registry on the invite, and I’m not sure why! I had a wedding website that I put on the invite, so I figured if people wanted to see it they could, and most of the women attending were invited to my shower as well so they would know where to look.
My family only ever does money gifts as well so I think that’s why I didn’t really think to put it on there too. The last few weddings I went to it only had the wedding website, so maybe the site is a new way to come across as not tacky?
Post # 7
come to think of it all the places that we thought of registering with and ended up going with give u a pretty little card with registry information to put in the invite so it cant be that outrageous.
Post # 8
Word-of-moth is the only appropriate way to do it. Older guests will know to ask your mom or your MOH. Younger guests will either ask you directly, hear through the grapevine, or do a search for your name on weddingchannel.com (which shows multiple registries).
Post # 9
I think those cards are meant for the showers, not the invitations.
I have never recieved an invitation with registry information, and didn’t put it on mine either.
Post # 10
It is absolutely a no-no to put the registry on the invite.
The number one gift is the guests’ presence. This is why it is not OK to put the registry on the invite.
The secondary gift is whatever card or object they give you. The maid of honor/best man are responsible for making sure people know about the registry. People will inquire, or they will get their own gifts (even knowing about a registry some people want to get something else).
You can put it on your website if you do one.
Post # 11
I would not (and did not) put registry info on/in invites. I’ve only seen people use those cards for showers – not actual wedding invites.
I’d just include your registry info on your website and otherwise rely on word of mouth.
Post # 12
absolutely not! it’s incredibly rude to put registry info on your invitation. the stores only give out those cards because they want people to buy from them – they don’t care about etiquette or your best interest! you can put your website on an info card in your invitation set, and then link to the registry from your website, but never put your registry on the actual invitaion! it’s offensive.
Post # 13
No, you don’t put anything about registries on the invites. I am putting in a separate card that will have our web site listed on it. The web site is the place to tell people where you are registered or by word of mouth.
Post # 14
@noodlesploosh: It’s considered poor etiquette to put registry information on invitations. The reason is because the purpose of an invitation is to request your guests’ presence to share in an experience–in this place, witnessing vows. It is an extension of hospitality. Registry information implies that your guests’ attendance is contingent upon giving a gift and thereby a breach of the very hospitality you are trying to offer (and according to traditional etiquette–and there are many different views on this, but I’ve seen this is several etiquette books–no one is required to give a wedding gift, even though it’s customary).
Very very traditional etiquette holds that the bride and groom should never directly ask for wedding gifts, which means no registry info on your STDs or website either–strictly word of mouth. And believe me, people WILL call your parents, his parents, and/or your bridal party members if they don’t see a registry listed–so don’t worry about no one seeing your registry if you go this route. No one will assume you don’t want gifts just because it’s not on your website/invite/STD.
Times are a’changing and now it’s far more common to see registry information on the website with a reference to the website on the invite and/or STD. In fact, some (particularly younger) guests consider it a breach of etiquette NOT to have the info on your registry because it puts the burden of finding everything on them.
So the bottom line is: No registry info on the invitation; yes it’s okay to put it on your website and have the website referenced on your invite/std unless you want to adhere to conservative etiquette in which case go by word of mouth.
(Sorry it’s such a long response–I feel it’s helpful to explain where these “rules” come from–bear in mind, I am not the etiquette god–this is just knowledge I’ve culled over the years and from reading lots of books 🙂
Post # 15
You can put your wedding website on an insert (with directions or details) and include the registry info on the site. Most people will ask though. I just made sure my parents and my in-laws knew where to direct people.
Post # 16
I wont be putting the registry on the invite. I havn’t decided yet whether or not I will mention me and Nathan’s wedding website again. BUT I did put it on our STD and the website has our registry’s and all that good stuff.
Good luck on what you decide!