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You could always register on Amazon... at least tech-savvy folks could use it. And gifts would be shipped. Also, folks should realize you're traveling and send them anyway-- that's what my guests have started doing.
I guess I'm a stickler, so I hate the idea of putting a note in the invites about gifts of any sort. What I'm doing is putting in a big note directing them to the wedding website, and then posting a nice message there about the registries, etc. Also, use your mom/sisters/aunts or anyone else you think could help to spread the message that you'll be flying so it would be hard to transport big bulky gifts word of mouth. That being said, ask a friend/relative who lives in Indiana to be prepared to take any gift home with them and mail it for you the next day (just make sure to provide them with the cash for packaging/postage!) Cheaper than taking it on the plane and it should be waiting for you when you get home!
Good luck!
The traditional and proper way to send a wedding gift is to mail it to the bride's home prior to the wedding. Not everyone is aware of this (and the awareness does seem to vary by region/culture) - but it might help to mention to a few key family members and friends that you're "so glad that tradition says to mail gifts to the bride's home and not bring them to the wedding! Can you imagine us trying to check 3 blenders, a toaster, a breadmaker and a set of dinnerware?? hahaha!"
There's not a polite way to ask for cash. Asking for cash in lieu of gifts implies that you expect gifts, and gifts are not required of wedding guests. You can however, let your mom, sisters, MOH, BMs, or other close (and polite) friend/family member know that you have not registered for gifts and would appreciate a gift from the heart of the giver, mailed to your home. And of course, cash is always welcome. - When people want to know about your registry they'll likey ask one of these women, if these women know your stance, then they can pass it on, politely (privately.)
you can have a slection on most sotres that have the items shipped to your home.
Thanks, ladies!
I hear you can register online for most places... which will be helpful. I am just at a standstill when it comes to registering because I don't really know anything that we need... as I said, merging two homes together really doesn't leave a lot of "needs" and we really have most all our "wants"...
I hate asking for "cash", but the one thing that we are really looking to do is to go from being home renters to home buyers. We had already planned to use any cash that we did happen to receive as a down payment for our home, which is really the main want in our lives.
I was just talking to the fiance, and we both agreed that it would be okay to register online at some stores for some things that we really do need... such as bedroom furniture, new towels, A KITCHENAID STAND MIXER (SQUEEEEEEEAL!), etc. Most of the things we need are pretty big ticket items that the family and friends may want to go in on together, or they may just get us gift cards or cash to purchase.
I feel better getting your direction :) I couldn't think of any polite way to say it. Great ideas, thank you all again!
You came to the right conclusion-there is no way to politely ask for cash.
Only register for the items you truly want. Your guests will figure out for themselves that you prefer cash. If anyone approaches you directly for ideas for a gift, just tell them that you have all the household items you need.
I'll be honest. If you don't register or ask for cash I am buying you a punch bowl from Marshall's. No one likes greed so register somewhere where the return policy is flexible i.e. for cash.
I'm confused by the logic that if she doesn't register then she is greedy. Bizarre. The flip side to that is you register for "too much" and appear greedy.
"No one likes greed" - umm... ok... how is not asking for a bunch of crap you don't actually need "greedy"?
The wording is challenging, sure, but greedy? Come on.
Anyway, OP, we're in the same spot, probably moving to a different state a few months after the wedding, and after 2 years of living together, we have all the housewares we need, and some - so we're setting up our wedding website with a few options - gift cards to Amazon.com, gift cards to our honeymoon destination, a link to a charity thats meaningful to us, and a few random things, like towels and sheets on Viva Terra - for the old fashioned folks who feel more strongly about physical gifts. Our close friends and family know we need the gift cards/cash, so it won't need to be said. And for the more distant relatives, nice new towels certainly cant hurt, right? :) (oh and I have it set up to ship to my parents house)
@littlebear2171: Hey we are all greedy brides registering for gifts. But it is blatant and in your face if you say "Cash only please."
I don't necessarily think of asking for cash as greedy... I think I would be greedy if I sent out an invitation that demanded my guests to purchase all my gifts from the most expensive store possible and I've only registered for crazy expensive items that really aren't needed.
I don't want my guests to think that their thoughtfullness isn't appreciated. I am sure I will be getting the pretty photo frames, the keepsakes, etc. from those who are traditional and purchase these things.
It is just difficult to convey that we aren't a young family just starting out in the world and that we already have good jobs where we make money to purchase the things we want, and therefore we have most things we want (except that Kitchenaid stand mixer that my Fiance didn't deem as important... ahem). ... And that I do NOT want a bread maker...
The other thing about returns for us, we don't have any stores here except Walmart.. so if someone buys us a gift from Target and it is something we didn't need... we have to drive 3 hours to return it.
I personally always give cash or a gift card. I don't like registry shopping and I know that my gift will come in handy for whatever purpose they choose. Sometimes, I will put in something small from the registry plus the cash so they have a little something they wanted too. I think it is a nice touch.
ON A SIDE NOTE-Has anyone used a strictly online registering site such as myregistry.com? This is pretty much the only registry option I have...
You could always register at a site like Kohls.com where they can have the gifts shipped to you. We are having to do online registry and have gifts shipped to us (in New England) from our families in Oklahoma and Delaware because if they bring them to the wedding they are subject to duties and taxes and we don't want to deal with having them shipped.
If you did online registry, I'd have your family and would-be best man/maid of honour spread it by word of mouth.
90% of my guests have mailed gifts to my home prior to the wedding. A few sent my gifts to my future in laws house? I'm not sure why? They live several hours away.
lots of brides are in your situations, just register for a few items (who doesnt need fresh sheets and towels or something like that?) and when people ask what you want just say we already have a house full of stuff so just excited to see you at the wedding- people will get the hint.
I agree with baletrina that I would be put off if you told me to give you cash so you either need to be very subtle about it or you can have other family members tactfully spread the word that you are saving up for a house.
We registered at Crate & Barrel even though there isn't one located near us. About 90% of our gifts were shipped to us before the wedding, we only received a few that actual day. It was a little bit inconvenient that we had to drive to a city over an hour away to return some stuff, but it was worth it to be able to register for the dishes and stuff that we wanted. I believe you also have the option to return stuff by mail, but then you would have to pay shipping.
We also had a registry at Macys, and again, most people shipped the gifts to us directly. I'm a little bit confused about how far out in the boonies you must live if there isn't even a Macys or Bed Bath & Beyond (I know there are both stores in Buffalo).
I'm going to register for a few things (just for the bridal shower.) Beyond that, I'm not going to register at all. I keep telling close friends and family that I just want to receive cash for the wedding. I am hoping that they will pass that along.
We are in a similar situation (wedding in Dallas and hometown reception in Minnesota the following weekend) and so far, I've found that most people realize it is difficult for us to transport gifts and have opted to ship them to us ahead of time. If people ask, our parents would let them know that that's our preference, but I think for the most part guests understood that we'd be flying in. For those few who do opt to bring gifts to the reception, we'll either ship them or bring them with us. I don't think you need to formally ask people to do this, though, because people might be put off by it and most of them will probably figure it out.
If I were you, I would probably create at least a small registry if you have any showers or if some people prefer to bring a gift and you don't want to be stuck with a bunch of things that aren't your taste. I also think if your registry is relatively small, it implies you do not want a lot of physical gifts.
Yeah, I think a small registry is a good way to send the message that you want cash without offending anyone. You can register for that kitchen aid you have your eye on, but a lot of people will see that there is no much on the registery and give you cash.
when you register you have the option to put that you would like the gifts shipped directly to your house. so maybe make sure that is in BIG BOLD LETTERS.
Honeymoon registry, or put a note on your wedding website that you would appreciate that gifts be shipped to your home (it really helps to register somewhere like Amazon for that, since no one can go into the store and buy you something and then bring it to the reception, but wherever you register will be an option to put your home address in as the shipping address). No biggie. I don't think most people show up to weddings with gifts anymore. :)
@Leprechaun: I would give my left arm for a store besides Walmart, a half empty Sears, or a Home Depot! I used to live in a larger city where everything was literally right around the corner from my house... this would NEVER have been a problem!
I am 6 hours away from Buffalo.. Upstate New York. The largest city remotely close to me is Watertown at 2 hours away. I prefer not to drive that far.. I am a businesswoman and tend to work more than 40 hours per week, rarely get a real 2 day weekend, etc. I'm also required to travel about 15 times a year for 3-9 day conferences... so, when I'm home, I like being home with my guys! 
So you see, where someone may enjoy that "leisurely" two hour drive to return/exchange gifts... I had to finagle my rear end off just to get time off to get married!
All great suggestions.. I found a site where we can list our registry items all in one spot. That will be helpful for the guests who are internet savvy. I will just send them the link and specify on our wedding website that we are requesting the items shipped directly to our home due to traveling for the event.
As far as what we are registering for, we have definitely decided that we would like some new bathroom accessories, towels, shower curtains... and that we need some new lamps for the living room! Also, we need a nice DVD shelf, entertainment center, MY KITCHENAID STAND MIXER!!!!!!!, etc.
So, it will not be a huge registry, but we will give some options. :) I think that it alleviates a lot of the fear of offending someone, which I would never want to do.
I, however, will never take offense to anyone asking me for cash donation to their first purchased home or honeymoon fund. Shoot, less I have to rush out to the store and search for! :) Plus I know I'm giving them something they really want. Then again, this is only my opinion and I can't speak for everyone. No disrespect meant! :)
@Jd64848704: The proper way to do this is to have no registry, or just make a small registry. If people ask what you want or where you are registered, then your mom/sister/bridesmaid can direct them to the registry and state that you're saving for a house. If you are asked directly, then you can say "I know anything you choose will be lovely. We do have some items at X.com and we're saving for a house."
Have you heard of DepositAGift.com? its a site where you set up a registry that basically asks for money so you can purchase what you want. I too have lived with my fiance for years, and we have everything we need, but I felt tacky asking for money. this is a really neat way of asking for money without seeming tacky.
@Jd64848704: I'm using MyRegistry.com and I love it! It's GREAT for online shopping and sounds perfect for your situation. You can put a note on it to have everything shipped to your home so you don't have to worry about traveling w/ gifts. I would definitely recommend it!
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Hello bees! :)
I am sort of stumped on this one... perhaps someone could lend some great advice! :)
So, my fiance and I live in Upstate NY. We will be getting married on August 17, 2012 at Niagara Falls. On August 25, 2012 we will have our reception in our hometown of South Bend, IN.
As you can see, we will definitely be doing some travel for our big day(s)!
So, the more I have thought about this, the more I am envisioning us flying home for the reception in Indiana. That's great and all, but then I started thinking of how in the world am I going to transport the wedding gifts? Can we say baggage claim NIGHTMARE?!
Not only will it be difficult to transport everything, but my fiance and I have been living together for almost 3 years and we each had our own places prior to merging. Therefore, we really don't need a breadmaker or a crockpot... although, a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer would be great :)
Also throw into the mix that the only real store we have in our area to register at would be Wal-Mart... that would definitely put a limit on items added... we don't exactly have a huge selection of places to shop and the places we do have are small and offer little. (I love the internet for this reason).
Anyhow, I am trying to think of the best way to word a little note to place inside the invitations to inform our guests that we are not registered for any gifts and would simply prefer cash or gift cards.
I hate it, because every time I try to envision creating this note, I keep imagining our families and friends becoming completely put off that we are asking them for money!
Any advice?