Post # 1
My FI’s cousin’s bridal shower is coming up. I’ve only met her once. I was planning on going to her shower (which is 45 mins) with my FMIL and FSIL, even though I would know NOBODY there except the ppl I’m going with. I began to look for gifts off her registries to get her. After viewing all 3 places she registered at… my jaw dropped. I could not believe the ridiculous amounts of very expensive fine china, kitchen electronics, wine glasses, etc. There was hardly any items under $60. I was immediately turned off. I’m now planning on not attending the shower. I’m sorry, I just find it greedy and rude. I understand registering for a few pricey items, but this was insane. I’d maybe be able to afford one wine glass ($75) ….
Maybe you’d actually have to see the registries to fully understand why I’m so frustrated.?
Post # 3
I had a friend who got married a few months ago who was registered this way. There was a cookbook that cost $25 and then a load of crystal and china all in the $100+ range. We could have spent $50-75 but over $100 was out of the question at the time. They actually had a $1000 crystal decanter. I bought the cookbook and sent a nice note. I never got a thank you note.
Post # 4
If there’s nothing that’s in your price range, why not just give a gift card, go in with your FILs or go off registry?
I know that when you register they say to pick a range of prices to suit all your guests, but some people don’t do that. According to the rules, I didn’t register for nearly enough stuff. However, I only registered for stuff I wanted and didn’t want to add extra items just to make Macy’s Registry Manager happy!
Perhaps in the circles she travels those prices are not extravagant? Or maybe she did go overboard with the registry.
In either case, you don’t have to give a gift! That’s why it’s called a gift and not a fee!
Given that you’re going to be joining the family, I think it would be a nice gesture to attend the shower. Just give a gift that is within your budget.
And remember! It sounds like you’re up next in the bridal shower department- what goes around (should) come around. Make the effort to attend and participate.
Post # 5
I agree that those seem like outrageous prices! But, get her what you can afford. And, like RosyChicklet says, what goes around come around. If you go to her shower and make nice, she’ll come to yours. Get her a picture frame, or something similar to what she registered for, but in your price range. Is her family super rich? Maybe this is normal for her.
Post # 6
I’ve seen a couple of those registries in the past and I, too, get so turned off! I think I subconsciously start thinking that they aren’t too considerate of other people’s financial situations to want the most expensive items out there. It’s always good to have a good mix of expensive and not-so-expensive items.
I’ve never declined an invitation to a shower for that reason though. Either I put together a gift on my own or just a gift card to the place(s) they registered for.
Post # 7
I understand that people try to only register for things they really want…but if everything they want is so expensive, maybe a good compromise would be to register for gift cards in lower denominations so that guests don’t have to either go broke or buy off-registry.
Post # 8
I just wanted to bring a different slant to this…
I had way too much fun doing our registry online for Target. We registerd for a ton of things that we’ll never get – although our price range is more easy to deal with (my fave is a notepad for less than $10 that says 1000 things you must do to make me happy) BUT we are registered for a Wii and some tools. Do I think people will actually get it, No, but it’s a wish list.
If she’s a nice girl, she will truly appreciate whatever it is that you get her – as my FH and I will appreciate all of the love and support we get from family and friends. Wii or not. It’s about the gesture.
Post # 9
Hmmm…I feel kind of guilty now. I pretty much didnt register for anything under $75. I only registered for things that I wanted and can use. I didnt register for a bunch of stuff for $10 or $20 because I didnt want spatulas or cutting boards. In my circle, this is pretty normal. I usually give lingerie or gift cards for shower gifts, nothing more than $25. But I usually spend at least $100 on a wedding gift. Put a $25 gift card in nice card and call it a day.
Post # 10
Agreed that she needs gifts at several price points. But keep in mind that some stores let the couple purchase whatever registry items they did not get as gifts after the wedding at a discount (20% at C&B I think). So sometimes couples register for luxury items like furniture and rugs, knowing that a guest won’t likely buy them. But the couple can go back after the wedding and purchase these at a discount – which is a smart way to get a new household set up more economically. So I don’t think you should automatically read "snob" or "spoiled" or "WTH???" into the registry that has super expensive items on it.
Post # 11
I have to admit my registry does not have a ton of items under $60. I tried to put items on but felt that I was just adding things I don’t really need. We live in a small apartment and I have most of the items I need. The only items I really wanted were my China and crystal and I can’t store much more then that. I am a little bit older so I don’t need all the cutting boards and utensils, I already bought them myself. I added lower price items but will most likely return them and put the money towards my china. I don’t necessarly think it’s being greedy- it’s just what I need. If somone gives me one glass I would be very happy with that. Gift cards are also great if not pick up a lower price item at the store she registered at, she can always exchange it. It’s the thought that counts! The registry is a suggestion, you don’t have to get anything off of it. Who knows maybe the circle she travels in buys these types of gifts in which case it is normal.
Post # 12
are you close with your FMIL and FSIL? Perhaps an alternative is to do a joint gift. $80 between 3 people doesn’t seem that bad.
Post # 13
I’m sure a gift certificate would be much appreciated! I just attended a shower where the bride was registered at Target and Macy’s. She got multiples of the same item between $10-20. 6 cutting boards, 6 spatulas, and guess how many place settings? 1. It made me so frustrated that I’m considering removing items off my registry that are under $20. I’ll still have items under $50, but there is NOTHING wrong with gift certificates – they add up and the bride can get the things she really wants.