Post # 1
This has come up before a lot, but now that I’m making a registry I’m feeling the struggle!
M and I have lived together for 3 years so we have a ton of stuff. There are a few things I want, but not a lot. Is it rude to not register for that many things? Cash for benefit us a lot more, although obviously we will be happy with anything we get.
Any advice or experience?
Post # 2
As long as you’re not having a shower, register for just the things that you want. If you’re having a shower, I think it’s important to start to have some items in certain price ranges.
Post # 3
cls9q: Register for what you need and for what you think is appropriate! You don’t need to feel pressured to register for things just to register for them. My FI and I have been living together for a while as well and only registered for things we really needed or wanted. We only have like 6 big itmes on our registry and the rest are things that we need replaced or th If you have less on your registry, people will get the idea to give you cash.
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
cls9q: We were in the same situation- lived together for about 3 years and everything. We never bought nice pots/pans, etc, though, so we registered for individual pieces of stainless steel cookware, plus a bunch of new kitchen utensils (weird stuff we didn’t have like a basting brush, turkey baster, etc). We also registered for a new set of sheets and bedspread. Also for nicer towels, but nobody bought them.
And china. If you’ll want china for nice occasions (holidays, anniversaries, etc), go for it!
It all depends on what in your home needs upgrading. We had measuring cups, for example, but they were crappy and missing some, so we registered for some nice stainless ones. A food scale is great if you like to buy in bulk and divvy it up (we do this with ground beef). What about a magic bullet or other small blender/food processor?
Beyond all the usual items, you can also register for home decor items, like throw pillows, rugs, etc. Heck, register for stuff at home depot f you want to repaint the walls or whatever.
You’ll find something! I think it’s better to register for about as many things as you can think of to give options, and if people want to give cash, they will. (Sucks, I know)
Post # 5
I registered for what I really wanted, but ended up adding more fun items once everything I “needed” on it was purchased. I added on things like beach chairs which I needed and am SO glad I got because I’ve used those more than the serving dishes and such.
Post # 6
cls9q: If I am invited to a shower and the couple does not have a hardy registry of items to choose from I will either A) get them a gift card for what stores they are registered with, or B) give them cash. If you can upgrade, I suggest upgrading, but I think most people will get the hint and write you a check.
Post # 7
I think you should only register for what you want- no need to try to fill it out or anything. If its small youll end up with more checks, which sounds great.
I am in the opposite boat… I moved to NYC with 2 suitcases of clothes. Lived in tiny tiny apt shares- I own nothing! In the kitchen/home deptartment anyway. And all his stuff is old/chipped/masculine/mismatched and we just moved in together, after the engagement.
Im just starting to register and it BLOWS MY MIND that people are going to actually buy this stuff for us because we’re getting married- its just so generous and amazing. Stand mixer, vitamix, all clad, le creuset, fine china… WOW. Its just unbelievable all the love and gifting. And dresses. And getting married! And a diamond! And a honeymoon!
Holy shit I think Ill actually be this excited or more so for the duration on our 14 month engagement.
Post # 8
- Wedding: December 2014 - Loft
MrsBuesleBee: Just had to comment at the greatness of your comment. It is such an exciting time. I often wonder if the excitmenet will carry through. I think it just gets replaced even more excitement as the date gets closer for me anyways. PS love your new display pic. Is there any correlation between Dolly and your member name?
Post # 9
We’ve lived together for almost a year and we are both established adults, so we have stuff. But it is not *nice* stuff. It is a random, mix-matched hodgepodge of stuff. Our dinner plates don’t match, we don’t even have two wine glasses that are the same (that would be my bad for breaking half of them), and don’t even get me started on the serveware/bakeware situation.
I moved into my FI’s place after living with roommates so I really didn’t bring much of my own stuff and he has a very “bachelor” kitchen. Enough to cook and eat with, but certainly not enough to satisfy someone like me who loves to cook and entertain.
If you and your FI plan on entertaining in the future, I’d focus on that stuff. Crate & Barrel has tons of fun things, so we did a registry there. Stuff like serving platters, marble cheese board w/ cheese knife, wine decanters, beverage tub, martini glasses, barware sets, etc…
Also don’t forget about fine china, crystal, and nicer kitchen appliances/cookware (we already have a beautiful set of Calphalon pots/pans but I am really crossing my fingers for my KitchenAid stand mixer and Le Creuset cast iron grill pan!). Right now we live in a small 1100 sq. ft. downtown loft so we haven’t really gone crazy with buying for the kitchen. The registry will be a perfect way for us to stock the home that we plan on buying after the wedding.
Post # 10
No shower, not common in the UK so I dont know the rules. But for our wedding we registered for just the things we needed, some of those were hugely expensive, not a lot in the lower price ranges. But people either gave us cash, or gift cards for the shop we registered for. Many said they liked to get the card more than just cash as they could see what we would be buying with their cash. Some just liked to give us a cheque and wish us well…….some bought us the most random assortment of items I have ever seen, and I love each and every one of them!
Post # 11
- Wedding: Royal Park Hotel
MrsBuesleBee: I agree. It’s actually pretty ridiculous when you think about it. Getting new stuff because youre getting married? It’s a really outdated concept but I still took advantage of it. We now own things I could only dream of having….just cuz we got married
Post # 12
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
Nope, only register for what you need! I would *sooooo* so much rather see a couple register for just a few things that they actually need, than to see a big long registry with 100+ items just for the sake of registering. Nothing is worse than spending money on a gift, only to have it go to waste.
I’ve attended lots of weddings with small registries, where everything on the registry has already been purchased – and I just give cash. I take it as a hint, really, that the couple probably just wants cash 🙂
If your friends/family want to throw a shower, you could ask them to keep it to a theme of things you really want/need – like honeymoon-themed, book/cookbook-themed, etc.
Post # 13
missjz: yes I think it will carry through! I think people definitely get bogged down in the minutea of wedding planning stress- but if you can carry the joy and gratefulness for the big picture into those moments maybe you can just float right along.
And thank you! no, Dolly/my name have nothing in common I just love her! And so many bees have commented on it- so I’m sticking with her. Saw that cute waving pic the other day and thought, totes new WB pic. ha
Derp: Yes! I think the origins are dated but I get the symbolism off fresh home/life/partnership etc even if the legality is the only thing fresh. And on a base level, people want to give you a present that you actually want. Its is absurd though. And amazing.
Registry problems are my favorite problems in life. WHAT COLOR STAND MIXER? ha.
Post # 14
cls9q: My husband and I had been living together for about four years before we got married and we registered for only a few things. We weren’t going to register at all but some people were asking my family members where we were registered so we just put a few things up.
About 95% of the gifts we received at the wedding was either cash or checks.
Post # 15
I agree with other PP, register for what you need, no use registering for something you won’t use. I’m in the process of doing registeries as well. We just bought a house and lived like nomads before so we need pretty much everything haha.
Also, I suggest looking into alternative registries, some honeymoon locations have registry options. For example, we’re doing a cruise and you can register for guests to give you excursions as gifts. You can also set up ‘funds’ for larger items like a garage or extension to your house.