Post # 1
I’m a new “Bee” here, coming from the Knot! I got sick of those boards a long time ago, I felt like it was so snarky and witchy. But anyway..short story, our wedding is July 15, we were engaged 7/25/09. After talking with my mom and aunt, they tentatively are planning my shower for the first weekend of April or around there, due to family obligations in April, May and June (and then July is the wedding!).
Question is..I’ve never been to a wedding before. Well, that’s not true – I’ve been to two – but very individual weddings (they did not register). I don’t know what is really “okay” to put on a registry. I’ve seen loads of other people’s registries, as well as the “idea sheets” the stores give you, but I’m so worried about what people will think when they look at it! FI keeps trying to put a Dyson on (I choked when I saw the $599 price tag) and insisting on every appliance being kitchen aid. I feel like I can’t ask guests to spend that, or make it look as though I expect them to – I’m content with a $45 Black and Decker blender. I suppose I’m just concerned that if we have certain things on there, people will think we’re greedy or snobby. And we definitely aren’t!
Anyone in the same boat? Or words of reassurance? We have approx. 170 guests.
Post # 3
Some guests will go in together to buy items. My husband’s group of close friends typically do that! I don’t think it is bad if you have expensive stuff as long as you have multiple items at all price points, so that guests can purchase what they feel comfortable with.
Also, make sure to look up reviews on the appliances – just because it’s Kitchen Aid doesn’t mean it’s the best/most value-filled option! Dysons can also be gotten on sale for less than $599 pretty regularly. I’d suggest shopping around and/or making a universal Amazon registry (you can add products from ANY website out there!!) so that you can make sure whoever buys it for you gets the best deal :-).
Post # 4
I am having sort of the same problem because I want to register for China and everyday plates and none of my cousins did register for china. I think people will think i want too much.
I have lived on my own in college apartments a few years ago, but now I live with my parents again, so I really have no household stuff.
I ahve really begun to think that you should just register for what you want (as long as it is for the house hold) and if people don’t want to buy it they wont.
If you go to the knot or Bed bath and beyound there are registry checklists.
My sister got a stand mixer and never thought she would. Also people don’t buy stuff where you register for them if they can find them somewhere else for cheaper, atleast I don’t.
Post # 5
I agree that you can go for the bigger ticket items if they’re something that you truly want and need. Like the Dyson – you never know who might pool together to buy that for you. Not to mention they might have store coupons or it may go on sale! So register for what you want! Also, some stores will give you a discount on the items left on your registry. For example, Crate & Barrel gave us a 15% off registry completion coupon. So, don’t be afraid to register for the things you want.
Post # 6
Nothing against the $45 black and decker blender, but I believe that wedding gifts should be quality gifts that last a long time. Generally the more expensive gifts are better made (like $10 towels vs $2 towels). Don’t feel bad about putting some expensive items on the registry, but keep a range of items. Just don’t register for crummy items. (at least this was the way I went about it!)
Post # 7
I would suggest that you register for the things that you truly want and just make sure that there are things for all price ranges.
I know people who prefer to buy a lot of more inexpensive things and give it together. I personally prefer to buy one nice thing, or even get together with another person and buy one really nice thing. It is the one time in your life were so many people will enjoy giving you nice things. You should get what you want. Also remember that by having a good amount of things on your registry people will only buy something that they want to get you. If they don’t want to get you the dyson they wont, but some other people might. I don’t think you should stress over that. Get what you want.
Post # 8
Register for any items you truly want. I was shocked at some of the items we received (almost all of our china, and a full set of super expensive towels). People like to purchase quality gifts if they can afford it, and if it’s something you really want, but would never buy for yourself, that’s the best type of gift. A lot of people will just give you money or gift cards if they don’t want to purchase anything off the registry.
Post # 9
GO FOR THE KITCHENAID.
Ahem. Pardon me. This coming from someone who’s not even HAVING a registry!! But I’m a baker, and I love my kitchenaid stand mixer like it’s my baby, lol.
In seriousness, you should not be afraid to put nicer, more expensive stuff on your registry! Just make sure you have cheaper stuff too. Try to keep in mind everyone from your aunts and uncles to your parents’ lawyer friend to your poor grad school buddies. The older people, unless they’re suffering from the current economy, will want to get you something nice. And just because a Dyson is on the registry doesn’t mean anyone’s being forced to buy it.
As for rudeness – as long as you don’t put your registry info in the wedding invites, you’re in the clear. (It’s fine to put it in the shower invites.)
Post # 10
Oh! And: just my $.02, but of all the things that you could go higher-end for, pots and pans are one of the best investments. Even the nicest sheets will wear out over time, but a good saucepan will last your lifetime and your kids’.
Post # 11
@sorrycharlie: A registry should include items to help you set up household (kitchen items, cookware, every day dishes and glassware, china and crystal, small appliances, etc.). The general advise is to have items in a variety of price ranges to accommodate all budgets.
Now, a lot of people will tell you to put anything you want on the registry and that people won’t buy it if they don’t want too. While that’s true, I think your gut feeling is serving you well here. It looks greedy and gift grabby to have pages and pages of only the best of the best high end items. If you wouldn’t buy it for yourself, its probably not a good idea to ask a guest to buy it for you. Also keep in mind a registry is not a free for all wish list. You’re registering for wedding gifts so adding items like, say, a game system isn’t really appropriate.
Lastly, people and particularly the stores where you register will tell you to include registry cards in your invitations. Don’t! Its inappropriate to advertise registry information – you only provide it when someone specifically asks for it.
Post # 12
@lisa105: I disagree that if you wouldn’t buy it for yourself you shouldn’t put it on the registry. Left to my own devices I would never purchase a full set of china, and I would buy cheap towels on sale. But, receiving those items as wedding gifts is so special, and I will cherish them during our marriage. The point of buying gifts, beyond the practicality, is to give someone something they would otherwise not have.
Post # 13
@LindaB: I meant that more as a rule of thumb…like, if you think $130 for a Simple Human trash can is outrageous, don’t ask your guests to buy it for you just because its on their dime, kwim? Or ask for only the highest end appliances because you’re not paying for them.
Originally, wedding gifts were intended to help a couple set up housekeeping and get things like good china, crystal, silver, etc. I still rather like that idea.
I think now though, registries have morphed completely out of control and people feel entitled to ask for anything and everything up to and including cash! Its like some couples just go on a shopping spree for any and everything but are just asking others to do the actual shopping and pay the bills – does that make sense?