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I haven't used it, but am a guest for a wedding this weekend and the couple used it. Honestly - I HATE IT. I'm not a guest to help pay for your wedding! And, it sends out these reminders every few weeks and every time I look at it, it drives me nuts. The only thing that makes me feel better about it - is the couple lives overseas and can't take a lot of stuff back with them.
I think you should create a small registry and not put your registry info anywhere. People will either come up with their own gifts to give you and/or gift you cash. You can always let your parents or bridal party spread the word that you'd prefer cash (when asked where you are registered).
DH and I each had established homes before we got married, but there were plenty of things we were able to register for - it's not about upgrading everything - but we wanted nicer pots, knives, vacuum, wine glasses, some misc. kitchen tools... so that's the type of things we registered for. Hope it helps!
i'm not a fan of this. if you really want to do it, i think you should at least take the wedding bands off. those should be bought by you and your FI.
I consider myself far from traditional but even for me this is pushing it. I don't even know if you would appreciate my honest opinion on this.
I'm sorry. No.
I don't care for this idea myself... what about doing a honeymoon registry? It's the same concept, but more socially acceptable.
Honestly I think it's a bad idea. I second what @futuremrsmp said about taking the wedding rings off, at the very least
I hate to be blunt, but I'd honestly rather see "monetary gifts are kindly appreciated" on an invitation than this. It just seems like if you want a wedding, you should pay for it, not expect help from others to pay for it. At least with a monetary shower, they might think you're using the money for other things and not necessarily for everything for the wedding.
Looking back, I wish I did do a monetary shower to be honest. It's becoming more popular in my area anyway, and although it might have offended a few people, I wish that I had done it.
I'm really not a fan of this at all. I agree with PP about at least taking the wedding bands off if you end up doing it. And I would probably take off the bridesmaid flowers, too.
Wow, this is an interesting approach. I like to buy people something for their life together, but their wedding rings in particular is a little too much.
Also, how does this work, because I know we are still 7 weeks out and we have had a few gifts bought off our registry. Still we have booked everything already, so I would be inclined to think that you wouldnt actually be using the money for what you are saying you are!
I am a longtime WB lurked who actually just set up an account to reply to your post.
Please do not do this. How is this registry any different than selling tickets to your own wedding?
As much as I hate the honeymoon registry, at least as a guest I feel I am giving you a "gift" - dinner or snorkeling lessons or whatever- even if you use it to pay the electric bill, you know? This registry you are proposing is so incredibly offensive. No one "deserves" a dream wedding. You deserve the wedding you (and your families if contributing) can afford. It's certainly not my job as your GUEST to finance bouquets, cakes, music, my dinner, etc to fulfill your "dreams."
I thought it was cute but I do agree, I wouldn't feel like the money was going towards what was on the registry. What about doing the same thing but for your honeymoon? Is the date for your wedding set? Maybe invite less people or postpone it for a while until you can afford it?
I'm going to be blunt. If you need help to pay for your wedding, than you're trying to have a wedding you can't afford and in my book that's a NO NO. You need to create a budget that works with you and your fh finaces not the finances of your guest. Stepping of my soap box now.
To be honest, I didn't mind it, I feel like it's the same as a honeymoon registry, but just a different approach.... I have seen it all, I am an event planner for a living... One wedding I worked at (a very casual one) even put on the invitation "we are only registered at Bank of America..."...
The first comment about the site sending reminders all the time is good to know- that may be annoying for guests... But I wouldnt be offended if I saw this- I am in the same boat as you girl... I cant wait to go back to working ONE job!
I agree with PPs. Having your guests pay for the wedding is taking the non-traditional registry way too far. Something like photography would bother me a little less, but still isn't something I would like to see on a registry.
I think you would be better off just not registering, most people would take the hint and give you cash.
I'm also not a big fan of the set prices for gifts. If someone is registered for wine glasses, a guest can purchase them anywhere, when they are on sale. For this, they seem to be stuck paying a set amount towards a gift.
I'm fine with people asking for cash and letting guests know what it is going towards... but I think this should always be listed along with some actual registry items. There are just some guests who will never be okay with giving cash and a registry like this will offend them. I'm using MyRegistry.com which lets me have a cash gift fund (or several, so you could include the different wedding-related items you were talking about) listed alongside other registry items. I think this is a more appropriate way to do what you're trying to do. GL!
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Hi Bees,
Has anyone here ever used UponOurStar.com for their registry?
My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, plus we've been living together for 2+ years, so we don't need anything. What we need is help paying for the wedding. But in an effort to avoid the tacky/pushy ways of asking someone directly for cash/check in our invites we decided to make a non-traditional registry that works in our favor and helps us collect money to put towards the wedding expenses.
Our registry is:
http://uponourstar.com/noesalgado
Do you guys think this is okay?
Thanks so much for your feedback!