(Closed) regret getting married?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Well I’ve only been married since February, but no. lol

Post # 4
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I do regret getting married the first time. Ended up in divorce. I think I knew deep down that I shouldn’t have been getting married and still went through with it (don’t know why, guess I’ll blame it on being “young and stupid”) and that’s what I regret.

Post # 5
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

it wasnt a regret but i struggled a little at first because i felt a loss of independence and had to learn it wasnt about asking permission (which i started feeling/resenting) but taking into consideration (eg when making plans to catch up with friends)

Post # 7
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

not married yet….but we’ve been together 9 years, lived together 7 and owned a house together for 4……so i’m not really worried about it….

Post # 8
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I got married in June, and no, I don’t regret it! 

Post # 9
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@ejbri:  If you post about your situation, we can try to give you some advice. Cold feet are totally normal and a lot of brides have it. Marriage is a big commitment and big life change, so it’s normal to feel a little worried about the future. However, you should really try to sort out real emotions from cold feet before the big day.

Post # 12
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@ejbri:  

To me, seven years is a big difference when you’re in your twenties. When you’re 20-21, you’re just getting your bearings on things, starting to go out, figuring out who you are as a woman… In your late twenties, you start to think of what you want out of life, kids, marriage perhaps…

 

Do what feels right. If you’re unsure, I would definitely wait!

Post # 13
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I thnk the fact that you are so young, that its your first bf and that you are having doubts means that you should not even be contemplating marriage yet.

Post # 14
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I met my now DH when I was 20 and he was 27… We are now 24 and 31. I don’t agree that if you are having doubts that you shouldn’t be contemplating marriage. Marriage is a BIG step and can take a lot of thinking and time to adjust. Maybe you just need a bit more time and your bf sounds understanding so shouldn’t have a problem with this. Its ok to have doubts in life and relationships, it’s how you work through them and I think you need to doubt things to work out what you really want in life

Post # 15
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My opinion is if you are having any doubts, you should not get married yet.  The fact that you are asking if anyone has regretted getting married makes me think that you might feel like you might.  Yes, you cannot see your life without this person, but you should be excited to get married and not go into especially with all these doubts.

My fiance and I met when I was 20 (almost 21) and he had just turned 28. We were at very different parts of our lives but instantly drawn together, although looking back on it I can see where our age difference did play a role in how we connected.  I am 28 now and I can tell you I learned so much about myself, what I wanted, and just how different my perspective on things have changed. I actually moved to the other side of the country for a job – which also made both of us realize how much we wanted to be with each other.  But I needed those years to grow up and experience life to make me appreciate and be ready for my life now.  Everyone is different, but I think if I got engaged before I did (which I wasn’t ‘ready’ until last year lol!), I might not have been as happy to be engaged as I am now.  I wouldn’t have regretted it, but I wouldn’t have been esctatic like you because it would have felt somewhat forced.  The age difference has never been an issue for us, but I definitely felt it more in my early twenties than in my late twenties.

If you’re not 100% sure, then wait.  You’re already lucky to have someone who’s understanding and patient with you.  Get married when you know 100% that it’s the right decision.  If it is the right decision, he will be by your side until you are ready.

Post # 16
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

To put some context behind my comment, I have been with my DH for over 11 years, we started dating when I was 18 and he was 24 in January 2001. We didn’t marry until November 2010. I dont mean to say you wont end up getting married or being together for the rest of your life, I just think you should spend the next few years discovering yourself before and your relationship before you lock yourself into a marriage.

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