(Closed) regrets inviting a friend

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

She sounds like she’s just excited for you. Just tell her that you aren’t interested in all of that and you would love to have her there. 

Post # 4
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

It sounds like she wants to make this a special time for you, but that maybe she’s doing what she would want instead of what you want. I’d try to take her actions as good natured, and explain firmly why you’ll be doing things your way. If she senses you hesitating at having a family-only or intimate wedding, she probably feels like she’s trying to help you have something you’re “supposed” to want. Be firm, and let her know what she CAN help you with.

Post # 5
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010 - Marie Gabrielle, Dallas

I definitely agree with KateMW.  Sounds like she’s going the traditional route, maybe not understanding that you don’t want that.  I say just let her know, but I don’t think you need to uninvite her. 

Post # 6
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I would shoot an email back her way explaining how you and your Fiance are doing things. It may just take a little more communicating to get things through to her!

Post # 7
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

I agree with everyone above. She sounds like she means well, and she’s just really excited for you. What good friend wouldn’t be excited for you? I think you just need to have another talk with her to let her know exactly what your plans are. You told her everything in confidence, and you would appreciate her just sitting tight for right now. You’re not going to go the traditional route, and you would hope that she would respect your wishes. It’s great that she’s so excited for you, but she definitely needs to understand her boundaries, and remember that it’s going to be the way you want it to be.

Congrats by the way! And good luck with everything!

Post # 8
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, try not to get too upset about this.  I would just keep explaining to her the stuff you won’t be doing.  also this isn’t for another year and a half.  Maybe you can tell her to cool her jets a bit about the whole shower thing…

Post # 9
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I agree that it sounds like she’s just excited for you. I’d talk to her and let her know what your plans are and why not doing many of the traditional things is important to you. I bet she’ll understand.

Post # 10
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I find myself emailing pictures of weddings to my friends when I see something or hear about something that they may or may not like.  I don’t mean anything by it just was thinking of them.  It could be as simple as that.  She’s just excited for you and is trying to help.  She knows that weddings take a lot to plan and she’s just trying to be there for you.  My cousin wanted to have a private wedding too and we all respected that.  But at the same time we all wanted to throw her a shower because she has thrown all of us countless showers.  So don’t get too upset with her just reason with her. 

Post # 11
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

She sounds like she is very excited for you, but like others have said, just let her know that you don’t really want to do all of the “traditional” activities.  I’m sure she would understand.

Post # 13
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I totally feel your pain because I have a friend who is constantly asking for my plans and no matter how tight lipped I try to be, she runs with every little detail I do share.  It’s so bad, that her husband has started joking around that she thinks she is the one getting married.  

What I’ve done is just taken her suggestions with a simple ‘thank you’.  You, by no means, need to do anything she has suggested – and, she really is doing it with an excited and well-intended heart.  If you can try to shift your annoyance to gratefulness for her friendship (much easier said than done), it will make your day better! 🙂  

Good luck and happy planning!!  …and, just remember, stick with your guns about the vision for your wedding that you want.  

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