(Closed) regretting asking a bridesmaid to by my bridesmaid…not much i can do, huh?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

No, there isn’t much you can do about it now, but I am sure it will look great for pictures. I don’t have any right now, but I have seen some really awesome pictures with more on one side than the other, and who know, maybe your FI will think of someone else that he would like to stand up there with him.

Post # 4
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Why don´t you explain the whole situation to her, just the way you did it here? If she is a close friend she might understand your problem, and maybe there is another way to include her in the wedding, so that she still has the feeling of being more important than the other guests.

Post # 6
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t worry about it too much… we’re having 6 girls and 3 guys… At first I was worried about it looking weird and lopsided, but the PP is right, I have since seen some great pictures with uneven bridal parties. I think you’ll be fine. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

It will be fine. There’s no way to unask her. Just have her stand farthest away from you and forget about it.

Post # 8
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

so 5:2 is better? Just go with it. Everything doesn’t have to be even.

Post # 9
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

If its a destination wedding be sure to let your BM’s know what it will cost and let them know if they feel they can not afford it, its OK if they cant come. Maybe she will decide that its not worth the cost seeing as you are not as close anymore.

Post # 10
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think 6:2 will look fine! I know that’s not really the issue, but it will!

I agree with Lefeymw – sit down with her and outline in detail all the destination costs and her responsibilities. Maybe she’ll surprise you by not wanting to do it anymore. But everyone is also right that it would be bad etiquette to ask her to drop out.

Post # 11
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it’s fine, and I’d definitely leave it as is. You are right, your relationship could definitely be damage if you cut her.

You’ll have amazing photos…and more importantly, lots of help!

Post # 12
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think you should do whatever you feel is best…and if its leaving it then thats good! If you decide to unask her or others….it can damage things in the relationship. But if you talk to them about just not wanting that many people they may be fine with it.

My friend asked me and another girl to be in her wedding along with her sisters…and she later decided to not have us in it…but in stead of talking about it…she ignored us when we asked about dresses and such…finally I had to come out and say, HEY are we in the wedding anymore or what? and she had said no but said that she thought it would hurt our feelings and that not telling us was a better idea. She is an idiot. BUT had she come to us and said hey, we just want this many people or just family in the wedding we would have been fine with that.

 

But like Menobride said…you’ll have lots of help and amazing photos! I’m sure those two boys will feel like studs with all those women around! 🙂

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