Post # 1
I am getting married next month in Hawaii. I have three bridesmaids. My maid of honor told me that she doesn’t have a credit card so I offered buying the airline ticket. But I ended up with buying her a vacation package which is $1200 including the hotel. She wills stay additiona 3 days after my wedding and she is not paying for it. Now I am feeling that I made a very bad decision. She is not doing a good job on organizing a bridal shower and bachelorette party for me. I feel so frustrated.. Thanks for listening..
Post # 3
What is she not paying for? The additional 3 days? Or the whole package?
Was it her decision to get the vacation package or yours, and if yours, did you give her the option of the original offer of just the ticket?
That’s very generous of you to pay a $1200 cost for your MOH to travel and stay, but if it was done openly with the understanding she would pay you back, I would quietly and firmly bring this up with her.
If you’re worried about not getting the shower or bachelorette if you kick up a fuss, then decide whether you think she’ll use the debt against you and not throw you anything – both of the parties are not mandatory, btw, she doesn’t *have* to organize them, its just expected. But if my friend had shelled out 1200 bucks for me for an extended vacation to Hawaii, damn right I’d be throwing her a seriously nice schindig!
It’s too late now to use the old adage “never mix friends and money” but it is true, sadly =(. It may be you’ll have to make the decision whether to sit down and try to talk to her about paying back the debt, OR sit down and talk about the bridal do’s – you may not be able to get both.
Sorry you’re going through this, money debt between bridal party this close to the wedding must be pretty stressful. Deep breaths. Maybe talk to your FI and get his advice – he must not be very happy about her not paying either!
Post # 4
@Francis: You can use other means to buy airfare other than a credit card, and if she didn’t have the money she could have borrowed it rather than making you pick up the tab… How good of a freind is she? Has she done a lot for you in the past? Perhaps this will ease your discomfort. Or if not, talk to her. Tell her you dont feel comfortable with having paid for her, or maybe just talk to her about the party, tell her some ideas you had and nudge her in the right direction?
Post # 5
Thank you both of you. My maid of honor originally agreed to pay the hotel portion. Then she kept telling me that “I am asking my sister to come with me so she and I can split the hotel to save money”. I know that she is a pre-school teacher so I offered to over the hotel until my wedding day night if she stays with my other bridesmaid. She agreed, but she kept saying that “everything is so expensive there!” Even when she and I looked for the vacation package, she was so specific about where she wants to stay….then she told me that “I bought Costco Ohau vacation package so I can join the tour later!” I start feeling that she is using me to go to Hawaii for free…
I know her about 5 yrs. I never had this kind of problem with her before. We always split the bill when we go out. But there was an incident that she refused to pay $1000 cell phone bill to the company even thought she made all calls.
Regarding the bridal shower and the bachelorette party, she told me that “just get together for the shower and you don’t need a bachelorette party right?” My other bridesmaids wanted to throw a party for me, so they are trying to work with my maid of honor. Earler this week, my maid of honor send them email “I can’t make a reervation for dinner, should we go somewhere else?” She already sent the invitation for the party to my friends about a month ago then now, everything is up in the air.
Maybe… I am feeling entitlement for the $1200 I paid for her. But…. if my friend paid for $1200 to attend her wedding, and she is my best friend, I will take care of everything. I also bought the dress and shoes for her too….
Post # 6
@Francis: it sounds like she wants a vacation on you. I’d make her pay for it.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
Don’t let her use you for a free vacation. I mean, the deed is done now, and you’ve payed, but she should be at least putting money towards it. Beggars can’t be choosers!