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Rehearsal Dinner

posted 4 years ago in Beehive
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    1.
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    Worker bee
    abomb26    05/16/2008  

    I have a question, my wedding party, do I invite their spouses?

     

     And who else exactly?

     
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    Worker bee
    guinness257    August 1, 2008   Nahant, MA

    Yes, invite spouses and significant others of the bridal party.

    The others can be a little tricky...depends on how large you want it to get.  Including our immediate families, the bridal party and SOs and the officiants, we are up to 40. 

    Traditionally, they say you should invite all of your out of town guests, but that would be almost our entire guest list!

     
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    abomb26    05/16/2008  

    I didnt realize we should invite the Pastor...?? Sorry, first wedding hahaha

     
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    tanya2s      

    Yes, invite spouses, and if they're coming in from out of town, the wedding party's dates. Immediate family (siblings, parents) is pretty much a given, and some not-so-immediate if they're close and/or from out of town. Obviously you need to draw the line somewhere, or you'll end up having the entire wedding guest list, but remember, even if tons of people are coming in from out of town, they might want to get together and celebrate without you, so ask about their plans before freaking out over the rehearsal dinner guest list!

     
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    jma19      

    We're doing the wedding party and SOs, immediate family and select close friends, and then putting a note in the out of town bags to meet us at the rehearsal dinner place (a sports bar!) at a later time so we can hang out with everyone (but not pay for them). One of our friends is doing this and we really liked the idea, so we're doing it too.

     
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    lovebird    July 2008   New York and Cancun

    um~ what happens if it's a destination wedding and EVERYONE is OOT?

    Attachments

    1. Rehearsal Dinner :  wedding rehearsal dinner Img ring_bearer_pillow.jpg (51.9 KB, 46 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    piperbenjamin    June 2008   Philly

    were having the same issue, lovebird! to solve it we might have a cocktail hour before the rehearsal & then a private rehearsal dinner for the immediates & bridal party only. hopefully the rest of the OOT -ers can find something else to do after the cocktail hour!

     
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    miki    october 2008   LA

    lovebird, we're also having the same issue ... the plan right now is to invite everyone to the RD, although i kind of like piperbenjamin's suggestion.

     
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    Worker bee
    abomb26    05/16/2008  

    Can you ladies let me know about inviting the Pastor, is this common? Its not my pastor,pastor....also, how about if you are not close or know the spouses?

     
    10.
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    Worker bee
    abomb26    05/16/2008  

    Can you ladies let me know about inviting the Pastor, is this common? Its not my pastor,pastor....also, how about if you are not close or know the spouses?

     
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    Newbee
    miki    october 2008   LA

    abomb, i don't know how what the etiquette is on inviting your pastor.  we're inviting our officiant who is marrying us because he is also our good friends.  sorry.  maybe you can check out martha stewart or emily post on etiquette. 

     
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    Bumble bee
    caliocteach    8/9/2008   California

    Anyone who is at the rehearsal (um, yes, the officiant or pastor should be at your rehearsal) is a MUST invite do the rehearsal dinner.  The rest of the guests depends on your family, out of town guests, and personal preference.

    Attachments

    1. Rehearsal Dinner :  wedding rehearsal dinner Img wedding.jpg (73.4 KB, 64 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Rehearsal Dinner :  wedding rehearsal dinner Img arrangment2.jpg (60 KB, 67 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    jma19      

    I think it would be incredibly rude not to invite the spouse of someone in your wedding party if they're there, even if you don't know them. I can honestly say of all the weddings FI and I have been in, I have never seen this happen (the not inviting of spouses).

    Speaking of inviting pastors/priests/officiants, remember to also invite them to the reception along with the rehearsal. 

     
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    Sugar bee
    suzanno    7/12/08   Richland, WA

    The officiant/pastor should get an invitation (along with his/her spouse) to the wedding and reception, and at the reception should be treated as a guest.  If the officiant will be part of the rehearsal (and I would think that they would) they should be invited to the rehearsal dinner.  Whether they actually attend or decline for the RD generally depends on how close they are to you and your family.

    OOT guests are optional.  It's a nice idea to include them when there are only a few, but probably impractical when its your whole guest list.  We are inviting only those OOT guests who will be travelling alone, or whom we haven't seen in a really long time and therefore want to spend more time with.  For instance, my girlfriend coming from Wisconsin by herself gets an invite to the RD; a group of six couples coming from Seattle and staying in the same hotel can presumably get organized enough to eat together, and therefore doesn't.  The main thing in my mind is that you don't leave someone from OOT all alone in a restaurant in a strange town, if you know what I mean.

    Attachments

    1. Rehearsal Dinner :  wedding rehearsal dinner Img s08_d0894_2_psd.jpg (9.6 KB, 104 downloads) 2 years old
     
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    Helper bee
    kleverkira    June 7, 2008   Nashville, TN

    A lot of our guests are OOT, and the rehearsal dinner list was quite a source of contention with FI's dad until my parents stepped in a took over organizing (and paying for) the RD.

    We are having the wedding party + any relevant significant others, parents, grandparents, our priest and his wife, and the ushers (my cousins) plus their parents (my aunt and uncle who are helping organize the RD as well).

    Afterward, we are having a dessert and wine reception for ALL OOT guests.

     
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    Worker bee
    mrsbic    March 8, 2008   Phoenix, Arizona

    If your wedding is an out of town affair and it's small enough, consider inviting everyone!  That's what we did and it was a great time to relax and get to talk to everyone the day before our wedding, so that way we didn't feel guilty about not getting around to everyone on the big day.

    Attachments

    1. Rehearsal Dinner :  wedding rehearsal dinner Img gift_box.jpg (42.8 KB, 34 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Rehearsal Dinner :  wedding rehearsal dinner Img ringbearer_pillow.jpg (60.3 KB, 39 downloads) 2 years old
     

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